England Vs Germany On Twitter

June 27th, 2010 | brainjuice

(twitter account)

* See mighty England greet the German squad. See mighty England shit themselves.

* If you look closely, you can see pee leaking out of the England players whenever a German approaches

* I can’t come up with anything funnier than those two goals by Germany

* Classic English hymn being sung to ref: YOU’RE GOING HOME IN THE BACK OF AN AMBULANCE

* Is James Milner working for the Germans?

* James Milner: cooler, three veeks.

* Here comes Emile Heskey, because apparently England are not losing badly enough

* There. England flags being ripped down from Brighton to Carlisle. Thank buggery for that.

* We are free. And now we’ll get some proper fucking football matches. Selah.

(several hours later)

* …where am football game? Hu-mans told Rooney there was football game. Rooney missed football game? Rooney am confused.


9 Responses to “England Vs Germany On Twitter”

  1. Hope you’ll accept the deeply insincere sympathies of an American of Irish descent.

    I actually did feel a twinge of sympathy for the Brits after that bungled goal call. But it went away. Already a good bit on that at http://i.imgur.com/Yd4xq.png

    I do offer the friendly suggestion that your defenders use their concrete boots for training only, and leave them off in match play.

  2. As an Irishman of Irish descent “Ha ha”. Bless you Mister Ellis, your twitter posts are the only thing I enjoy about the World Cup.

  3. I still don’t actually know who this Rooney person(?) is, but I’m glad he’s involved. He inspires such humorous comments from Warren.

    These tweets really are some of the best game commentary I’ve heard/read, in any sport.

  4. If you were of Irish descent you’d have noted England were playing and not Britain, some of us ‘Brits’ weren’t at all disappointed with that game ;) Another four years of suicidal optimism to follow no doubt. Heh.

  5. True Owen, I forgot for a moment that “English” people are those who live in England, while “Brits” are the English plus all the neighbors that the English have pissed off for the longest time.

  6. Somewhere, in a universe far away, Warren Ellis’ footie commentaries are published, with art by Templesmith…>:-)

  7. Legal considerations aside, can we have regular The World According to Rooney installments, please? Brill.

  8. Rooney is the English Beavis – he will never score.

  9. […] England Vs Germany On Twitter – "Here comes Emile Heskey, because apparently England are not losing badly enough" […]