France vs Mexico on Twitter

June 17th, 2010 | brainjuice

* I love French football. "I am le bored with your feet now, leetle foreigner. I now cut them off with my boot."

* French team: "We are so bored now that we will simply stand around and let the Mexicans score. Be SEARED by our ennui."

* French team now standing around smoking Gauloises, composing miserable poetry.

* French team unsure why they’re being punished for kicking people instead of ball, asking if skullfucking is also illegal

* Three minutes extra time added. French burst into tears.

* Mexico deserved that win. They stayed above France’s dirty, sullen game. Also, I like to think the Mexicans were armed.


11 Responses to “France vs Mexico on Twitter”

  1. Thanks a lot for your comments to the games. Please continue the rest of the world cup, soccer was never this entertaining. You should comment the games on television …

  2. I love your football tweets.

  3. “* Mexico deserved that win. They stayed above France‚Äôs dirty, sullen game. Also, I like to think the Mexicans were armed.”

    Well, armed with expertise, I suppose… Not too much, but enough to win…

    I can’t imagine a chronicle by Millar, you know?

  4. ennui is an art unevolved anglo-saxons untermenschen cannot comprehend.
    it’s about ingesting beer AFTER morning.
    i believe it’s genetic.
    and skullfucking is legal.
    would you like to enjoy grandma’s eyeholes as a peace-making gesture?

  5. This World Cup has already seen a world-beating team barely defeat one from a deranged, starving dictatorship and now a country in the midst of a savage civil/drug war defeating a recent champion.

    I look forward to my native country ideally being thrashed by a tiny former colonial possession and hopefully an African team winning the whole shooting match.

  6. Oh Damn, Ellis. Everybody already knows that you hate France and French people. And now, you use football to mock us! Bloody British.

  7. 256 – the thing is that this has traditionally been the scottish football team’s standard MO; it’ll beat brazil and germany without a great deal of trouble and then lose to one of those countries who’s accidentally sent their football team to eurovision and their eurovision team to the world cup. The only trouble is that now france and england seem to have caught the same inverse square shiteness disease #nickcleggsfault

  8. @oR.hal
    Actually, at least Ellis does not enforce the ‘cheese-eating surrender-monkeys’ stereotype. He knows the French are just as vicious as they are sullen.

    And these football comments are bloody brilliant.

  9. don’t blame the north koreans for being so driven, they probably kill bad players to keep the others motivated.

  10. [...] France vs Mexico on Twitter – "Three minutes extra time added. French burst into tears." warren ellis being sarcastic. [...]

  11. “We are so bored now that we refuse training. I came here to commit bad poetry, not to play football.”

    Watch the news: one player has been expelled, the director in France is resigning, and the French team is on strike, refusing to train.

    It sure is unprecedented in football history.