* I love French football. "I am le bored with your feet now, leetle foreigner. I now cut them off with my boot."
* French team: "We are so bored now that we will simply stand around and let the Mexicans score. Be SEARED by our ennui."
* French team now standing around smoking Gauloises, composing miserable poetry.
* French team unsure why they’re being punished for kicking people instead of ball, asking if skullfucking is also illegal
* Three minutes extra time added. French burst into tears.
* Mexico deserved that win. They stayed above France’s dirty, sullen game. Also, I like to think the Mexicans were armed.