Conan! What Is Best In Life?
April 14th, 2010 | photography
WARREN ELLIS is a graphic novelist, author and columnist. His new novel, GUN MACHINE, available now from Mulholland Books, is being developed for television by Chernin Entertainment and FOX. His first non-fiction book, from FSG, is due in 2014. RED 2, the sequel to the Bruce Willis-Helen Mirren film RED based on his book of the same name, will be released in August 2013.
WarrenEllis.com runs on a Wordpress engine. If you've read the whole page you may want to return to the top, subscribe via RSS, or find Warren on Twitter @warrenellis.

You’ve got to be rather flexible to brush your teeth like that.
Not as devastating this time. Either Uncle Warren is losing his Conan edge, or BME is. But then again, clicking on these links always gets my heart racing.
Why the fuck did I click? WHY? WHY? I expected TEETH! TEETH!
I’m trying to imagine a scenario where teeth would have made that picture less disturbing.
I don’t know. I expected maybe teeth that had been sharpened into weird shapes. Or maybe laser-etched. But no. I should have known. These links usually involve abused dicks!
Now do you suppose it’s one of those with a rubber pick at the end for digging between your teeth?
For all the hard-to-reach places.
It’s amazing what people shove in their penises now adays
I will not be fooled by your URL-shortening ways, Ellis – I will not be fooled.