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TOTW is basically a joke that Ariana and I pull each week in our joint guise as the International Electrophonic Unit. Basically, we take some of the stupider things I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere, often in a state of extreme alcoholic refreshment or severe sleep deprivation, and put them on a t-shirt. Ariana set up a Cafe Press store (because this is a joke and engaging with a serious maker of t-shirts would be less funny to us), and… well, once a week, here we are.

Through this website and this Cafe Press store, we’re going to release one t-shirt a week. Until I either run out of dumb ideas or Ariana’s brain explodes.

Now. Bit of a change here. Previously, the shirt lived for one week only, and then we put up a new design. Because we were using the Cafe Press free store, which allows for only one design at a time. Which we rolled with, because this was a joke, right? But then Cafe Press noticed us, for some reason. And instead of kicking us off the site entirely, they very kindly gifted us with a free upgrade to their premium store structure. So you may soon notice a small change in the way we offer our stupid tat to you.

Every Monday, I’ll post the new shirt here, and you can peer at it more at

Anyway. I present to you T-Shirt Of The Week #010: THE CIGARETTE OF VICTORY:

(Just in case anyone remembers the old FALCONER shorts I wrote!)

We also now offer several perennial items, including:


(Yes, the old WHERE’S MY FUCKING COFFEE mug is still there. And other stuff.)

(And also a MAN COOK MEAT WITH FIRE "splatter-shield", because Ariana’s crazy)

Thank you for your kind attention.


Published in Work


  1. I don’t even smoke and I’m tempted by this shirt.

  2. I don’t even wear clothes and I’m tempted.

  3. Elizabeth Elizabeth

    As long as things are being upgraded & celebrated- I’d like to beg for the stab & stab & stab & stab shirt to please come back. Thk you

  4. Grant Grant

    If we’re begging, I beg for the very first shirt – Love is never having to tell the police where the body is buried (or pretty close to that) – missed it by that much!

  5. Falconer is still one of my favourite Ellis characters. This will be the TOTW which I buy. Oh yes.

  6. […] continued: Now that Warren and I got ourselves accidentally upgraded to a pro site, there‚Äôs some addendum to previous […]

  7. David O'Neill David O'Neill

    With….that day coming up soon, what are the chances of a “Happy Horny Werewolf Day” Shirt..

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