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T-Shirt Of The Week #005: HEALTH

TOTW is basically a joke that Ariana and I pull each week in our joint guise as the International Electrophonic Unit. Basically, we take some of the stupider things I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere, often in a state of extreme alcoholic refreshment or severe sleep deprivation, and put them on a t-shirt. Ariana set up a Cafe Press store (because this is a joke and engaging with a serious maker of t-shirts would be less funny to us), and… well, once a week, here we are.

Through this website and this Cafe Press store, we’re going to release one t-shirt a week. It’ll go live on Monday… and it’ll die Sunday night — midnight UK time, more often than not. Each one lives for a week, and then it’s replaced by the next week’s shirt. Until I either run out of dumb ideas or Ariana’s brain explodes.

So, every Monday, I’ll post the new shirt here, and you can peer at it more at

Anyway. I present to you T-Shirt Of The Week #005: HEALTH:


We also offer a couple of perennial items. Mostly because I wanted one of these for myself:


(And also a MAN COOK MEAT WITH FIRE "splatter-shield", because Ariana’s crazy)

Thank you for your kind attention.


Published in Work


  1. nandox nandox

    i live in texas…..where wearing this WILL get me shot in a bar where guns are legal, but smoking tobacco is not.

    Yee HAW!!

  2. sean sean

    This shirt touches the very core of the issue. It takes longer than 15 seconds to read, and will therefore be dismissed as egghead bull shit by most viewers. But when did that stop us?

  3. At some point you’re going to break and just call it a apron. A MAN apron. For MEN.

  4. Medusa Jones Medusa Jones

    A Mapron?

    But yes, I need the Tee.

  5. Fraulein Fraulein

    I want the mug. It’s cooler than Anna Mercury.

  6. Just ordered a t-shirt for my 17 year old son for Xmas. He’s politically left and also loves House so he’ll wear the shirt just because it says “lupus”.

  7. Louie Huwie Louie Huwie

    Ladies and Gentlemen, we are floating in universal healthcare.

    Will buy if current account permits

  8. Rick Rick

    If it wasn’t for the bit about the Samoan Octopoid Scrotum Death, I could wear this to work.

  9. Glenn Beck. Samoan Octopoid Scrotum Death. Two horrible things that would go great together.

    Just saying.

  10. Matt K Matt K

    Damn you, Ellis.

    I bought the “Space Bastard” and Apron for some married friends of ours, and now you do the Health Care t-shirt, just as I’m about to leave the US for the Netherlands.

    Are you trying to bankrupt me or something?

  11. Guns are not allowed in texas bars. Smoking is allowed, unless there is a specific city ordinance (austin) banning it. Fyi.

  12. […] got to mention Warren’s and my T-shirt of the Week, come on.  But it’s a smart one this week, and nothings sexier than smart.  Plus it […]

  13. Libby Tuesday Libby Tuesday

    I am *SO* distraught that I missed this one!!!

    Oh well, I guess I’ll get ov– OOOH!! Shiney!

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