Your AAA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Moment For Today
September 11th, 2009 | researchmaterial
From DiscoveryOn:
A rare parasite which burrows into host fish before eating and replacing their tongues with itself has been found off the Jersey coast.
Ready?
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Complete Plan B Archive
Kieron Gillen - 09 Feb 10
The whole run of Plan B magazine has been released as a single 670Mb PDF. That’s 46 issues of some of the finest music writing of the decade. And a lot of posturing pretentiousness too. It’s like two of my favourite things for the price of one. Or none, as it’s a free PDF.
If you’ve any interest in music in the 00s, or music full stop, this is a great thing to just have on file. You’ll discover a new band every time you browse it.
Hell, it’s even worth getting if you’re one of the games journalist sorts. For the first 10-20 issues or so, I was doing games stuff for it. And Quinns and Mathew Kumar too, who I bullied into contributing. Very much written for the non-gamer about games which get pretty much no coverage, we had fun trying to decode the concept of Outsider Games.
Whole thing here. Go gets!
Coilhouse is Hiring! Apply Here.
Coilhouse - 08 Feb 10
Back around the time of Issue 03, we launched the Small Business Advertising Program to create affordable ad space for indie companies in the print version of Coilhouse. By the time Issue 04 rolled around, the number of advertisers had grown significantly – by this time, we had record labels, jewelry and clothing designers, sculptors, other magazines, web hosts, toy makers and graphic designers advertising in our pages. Click here to see them all. With editorial duties taking up more and more of our time as the weeks go by, the moment has come for us to seek help with the advertising side of running the magazine. We’re looking to hire an Ad Manager for our Small Business Advertising Program, starting with Coilhouse Magazine #05… and possibly subsequent issues.
Full details after the jump!
Read the rest of Coilhouse is Hiring! Apply Here.
Post tags: Coilhouse
State of South Carolina Secretary of State Subversive Agent Form
jwz - 08 Feb 10
Check the appropriate box. Do you or your organization directly or indirectly advocate, advise, teach or practice the duty or necessity of controlling, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, the state of South Carolina or any political division thereof?
[ ] YES [ ] NOIf yes, please outline the fundamental beliefs. If applicable, attach a copy of the bylaws or minutes of meetings from the last year.
"Inflection Points" Presentation
Open The Future - 08 Feb 10
For those folks who are interested, here's the Slideshare version of the presentation I gave last week at the Earthquake Engineering Research Institute annual meeting. I was asked to talk about foresight thinking, as the event theme was "The Big One of 2056: What Went Right?" a look at a fictional 7.8 quake in the SF region that was handled as well as they could imagine possible.
My goal was to offer a bit of reassurance to the audience that there is some real utility to thinking about the future, and to spell out (in a cursory way) the kinds of big picture issues they should keep in mind while looking ahead forty-six years.
Inflection Points
View more presentations from Jamais Cascio.
By and large, it was a successful talk. The post-talk questions were engaged, with little push-back, and I'm told that the overall response from the audience was quite positive.
The talk was video recorded, and I'm told will eventually be available to the public. I'll link when that happens.
CAN GIFTING ECONOMIES SCALE?
John Robb - 08 Feb 10
A gifting economy is different from a barter or market economy in that valuable items are given away to those that need them, without any quid pro quo, exchange, or payment. Gifting economics (lots of great papers on this topic) were/are the economic heartbeat of hunter-gatherer tribal cultures, the social organization where we spent 99% of our time as homo sapiens sapiens. Barter was, in contrast, a mechanism for economic interactions between tribes.
This gifting economic system wasn't based on pure altruism. It did have an enforcement mechanism to ensure compliance with the system over the longer term. On the positive side, there was an intangible increase in the social status (using personal or societal metrics) of a tribal member that gifted an item. On the negative, a failure to offer hospitality or gifts to those in need was considered a mortal slight that could incite violence or expulsion from the tribe.
There were also a considerable number of drivers for gifting at the tribal level. Here are some:
- The survival of the tribe, as a group, was more important than the survival of any individual. However, the loss of any individual could put the tribe at risk.
- The generation of surplus and innovation was highly uncertain. Sharing reduced that uncertainty to manageable levels.
- Sharing reduced internal friction that could put the tribe at risk.
Scalability
It's pretty clear that the societal drivers of tribal gifting economics and the mechanisms of enforcement didn't survive the transition to a global social system composed of billions of members. Simply, the connections between any two individuals (outside of immediate familial relationships) are too abstract for these drivers and enforcement mechanisms to be relevant. As a result, market based mechanisms for economic interaction have gained dominance.
However, the ongoing shift of the global market-based economy from a trade in rival goods (tangible items that invoke zero sum economics) to digital non-rival goods (items that can be copied at no expense or diminishment, endlessly) provides a window of opportunity. It may be possible to revive gifting economics for non-rival goods to amazing beneficial effect. Some ideas on how this could scale:
- Automated reputation metrics that enhance social status based on contributions.
- Mechanisms built using MMO gaming as a way to tie successful gifting to status improvement (leveling) or an ability to attract investment.
- The creation of an inside/outside barrier that separates a gifting economy from the global economic mainstream. Automated mutual interdependence (see my friend Bruce Sterling's absolutely brilliant story on this: "Maneki Neko").
Latest on SNOW
Jean Snow - 08 Feb 10
So what’s the latest on SNOW? I guess two new developments art that I added a dedicated Twitter feed, and also created a Facebook fan page. The Twitter feed is mostly just automated with new articles from the site — because some people actually prefer that over RSS feeds these days — but I do keep an eye on it, and will reply to questions and comments. The Facebook page is just another way of putting the site out there, and should be a good way of informing members of SNOW-related events as they happen.
Regular content updates have also continued over the past week, with a few new guest columns and my regular news items. Here’s a list of what you may have missed over the past few days.
- One Coin Comics
- Wired’s Personalized QR Codes
- Annapurna Moonrise
- Lone Expression: Tommy Guerrero
- Asato Z
- COLORS
- Shinjuku Disco
- Labyrinth of Woods
- Koukotsu
- Japan Pan Am
- BQLSI STAR LASER
- Mountain House by Atelier Bow-Wow
- Measuring Tape Toilet Paper
- Kuri
- No Man’s Land
- The 69th Tokyo International Gift Show
- Memories of Island Life: Ogasawara, 1992
- A House Made of Two
- 24-Hour Subway in Tokyo
- Tiltshift Generator for iPad
- Hair Club for Men: Style #326
- Droog Town House
- G-Tokyo 2010
- First Trailer for Kitano’s Outrage
- JAGDA 2010 Calendar for iPhone
Gah! Fuck!
now where did I put that oven cleaner? my eyes need to not exist anymore.
The little bugger’s got his front legs doing Montgomery Burns’ “Excellent” shtick.
WTF indeed… hum.. i’ll go check myself, just in case, thx sir.
-by unDave™
Well, it is the Jersey coast…
This is beautiful, in a ‘fascinated-by-nature’ way.
It’s the inscrutable smile on the little fucker that gets me every time…
Holy mother of FUCK that’s cool.
If your interested in more parasitic what the fuckery Mr Ellis… the mind controlling Leucochloridium paradoxum. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWB_COSUXMw
UGHHHH I was eating breakfast.
I swear that wee bugger has hands, just look at the third pair down. @geekgrrl – when you’re done with the oven cleaner, hand it over with all speed, will you?
I used to have this critter’s wikipedia page up for reference. Crazy awesomeness. Working parasites!
I’ve seen this one before. Do NOT read too much about parasites; you will never sleep again, having become convinced that the world’s creatures are just WAITING to colonize you.
Ugh, that is just so completely horrible. My tongue now has that metallic taste out of sympathy.
If it colonizes a giant squid and someone gets a picture, that would be even worse….
I’m for nuking the oceans. Anyone else?
I happen to know more that a few people that really need one of those implanted… I just didn’t believe they existed.
Not necessarily related, but I thought the minds which peruse this blog would be interested in knowing that we’re on the verge of placing life forms into quantum superpositions.
http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arxiv/24101/
seti eel, eat your heart out.
I FEEL PRETTY!
I’m fascinated by how that tiny stuf of fish tongue still left kinda looks like the creature’s penis.
Scary little bastard, isn’t he?
[...] no blog do Warren Ellis, mas deu na Discovery: Um raro parasita que se abriga dentro do peixe hospedeiro antes de comer [...]
How does the parasite taste? It could turn out to be like an aquatic-meat chocolate covered peanut.
‘ere. ‘ow do I know you didn’t just shove a sand louse in some poor bluefish’s craw, publish a photo on the internet and launch a MEME OF FAKERY???
Ah, nature; The gifts you give us…
It is as nothing compared to the terrifying Cordyceps fungus. Which actually Makes Ants Into Its Zombie Slaves:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKjBIBBAL8
It’s kinda cute.
Species is Cymothoa exigua – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cymothoa_exigua
Best part: “The parasite then replaces the fish’s tongue by attaching its own body to the muscles of the tongue stub. The fish is able to use the parasite just like a normal tongue. It appears that the parasite does not cause any other damage to the host fish. … This is the only known case of a parasite functionally replacing a host organ.”
wait, fish have tongues?
wait, are those human teeth???
Quaid. Quaid. You must start the reactor.
That is an adorable parasite.
Saw a bunch of these when I worked in a grocery store. We kept a few whole fish and some fish heads on ice. The isopods freaked me out yeah, but I found them far less disturbing than the red brain ooze that would pour out of the back of the fish head when we’d pick it up to check for ‘em. Pretty common, we’d spot a few every week. Kinda became a running gag with us boys behind the counter. This was in Mass, US, be-tee-dubs.
Kevin Smith did a podcast about this once. lol That is freaking crazy.
Came across this animation a little while ago, which shows cymothoa exigua in a human host. It’s both hilarious and terrifying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f9KlpvAfko
Alienses 7….Ripley meets Quato
The creatures existence is old news. The WTF is that IT’S IN JERSEY!!!
Coinicidentally, the always great Radiolab just did a show on parasites. Worth listening to for the interview with the guy who sells the hookworms he farms out of his own poop: http://blogs.wnyc.org/radiolab/2009/09/07/parasites/
oh wow i’m pretty sure i’ve actually seen this with mine own eyes before.
i was swimming by myself off the coast of Papamoa, Mew Zealand, and this skinny little fish was swimming around me really slowly. So slowly that I could actually pick it up… I lifted it’s face to mine to do the immortal “hello little fishy” greeting, and this crazy little insect thing that was INSIDE ITS HEAD looked back at me.
Needless to say, I threw it away as soon as i realised what i was looking at (and squealed like a little girl)…. but it still inhabits my dreams to this day.
*shudders*
@Raymond Conion: what, and mutate these fuckers so they can colonize US? No thank you!
[...] Warren Ellis: Your AAA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Moment For Today, and also BBC News] Leave a [...]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH EVIL SHRIMP. FUCK.
Can you eat it?
Why do you exist?
You need to feed me blood!
aww, he’s a cutie!
“hello! I am your tongue now!”
AAAGH, CHRIST!
WHY DID I CLICK??
:goes to look for the bleach:
I call “shenanigans” on the original article. I’m a fisheries biologist and there are all kinds of wacky inconsistencies in that “article”. First, that family of isopods is not rare; they are exceedingly common globally. Second, the text of the article says that the host fish is a “weaver fish” (of the Family Trachinidae). The fish in the picture is a sheepshead (Archosargus probatocephalus). The weaver fish are found on the eastern atlantic coast and the sheepshead is found only on the western side of the atlantic. Third, if “Marine researcher” Paul Chambers has never seen an isopod before, I think the only marines he’s been researching live in barracks. Oh, and for everyone assuming that they’re talking about the New Jersey coast, you might want to read a little closer, or at all. BUT, the picture IS of a parasitic isopod that does effectively replace a fish’s tongue, and the fuckers WILL gouge you if given the chance.
Wikipedia says the little monster doesn’t kill the fish, doesn’t even eat its food, only stays there, sucking blood & maybe eating some discarded skin or something. How the $#(*&^ does something this creepy evolve to replace the tongue then? Need some of that bleach/oven cleaner that’s been passed around, stat!
Yeah that’s horrible. Reminds me that people make a lot of monster movies that are really far-fetched considering you don’t have to look far to find real ones.
Also see this little beastie I noticed on BoingBoing. It’s a real pain to remove apparently.
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/09/09/botfly-maggot-remove.html
ALIEN!!!!
Kinda like that movie….WTF indeed!
Kirby
parasite credo: “I’ll have what he’s having”
When I first heard about these things I thought to myself it would be hilarious if one could somehow dare the body mod community into taking them up as a fashion statement. I lack the influence but you, you have the ear of BMEzine, Warren. You could do this.
You must.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!:
http://www.boladedragon.com/dragonball/fotos/spmet_artworks/babidi.jpg
…I see fish teeth.
Is it sad that I now find that more peculiar than the tongue-eating parasite?
After seeing this Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are going to show up and zap you with that red-light-pen-thingy.
[...] it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite. [Image via Warren Ellis] Author: admin Categories: cool Tags: Comments (0) Leave a [...]
yep,it sure is the next step in body art. the thing is profoundly inspiring and interresting visually. reminds me of urotsukidodji. Big Sweaty English Man has already used that in transmet no? si.
What gets to me is that it was found outside of Jersey (as in Channel Islands Jersey), and not New Jersey. That bug is really unnerving though, I just can’t wrap my mind around it for some reason.
[...] http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=7729 a few seconds ago from Gwibber [...]
I like how the guy that Photoshopped this left the human teeth at the top.
That’s not photoshop jackass. That’s a really disgusting piece of reality.
It’s kinda cute…
[...] replaces it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite. [Image via Warren Ellis] This entry was posted in Fish, Monsters among us, parasite, tongue and tagged greader. [...]
meh, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen freakier in your Conan posts.
where the hell do you come up with this shit? I mean seriously?! and don’t say the internet, cause I use that, and I don’t find….i don’t what that is, but i don’t find this kinda shit in my inbox.
guh….
J–
[...] have got to be kidding me: http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=7729 [...]
[...] has been doing the rounds, so blog pedigree as follows: Io9.com viaWarren Ellis, who got it from DiscoveryOn. Title is borrowed from Warren Ellis, who pretty much summed it up [...]
Man, I just hope the parasite doesn’t crap down its host’s throat. That would be rude.
Y’know, if this thing can replace a tongue but not actually have any other detrimental effects on the host, then do you think there might be a market for them? Some people like doing weird things to their bodies, maybe some would like parasites for tongues.
Is it just me or does this article make anyone else think of Kanye West?
Oh…My….God. I’m appalled that I find him in any way cute, as this is gross-tastic.
Thanks for that.XD
[...] to Warren Ellis for introducing me to this one. This is a parasite that goes in a fish’s mouth and then replaces its tongue. And, [...]
Not surprised you’d find such horrifying things at the Jersey Shore.
[...] “Weaver fish off the Jersey coast have fallen prey to a horrific parasite: an isopod that devours the fish’s tongue and then replaces it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite.” [Image via Warren Ellis] [...]
A great analogy for describing wall street bankers
looks a lot like Lloyd Blankfein, don’t ya think?
Why does that fish have human teeth?
URGH!!!
that thing reminds me of my ex. Boys, any of that oven cleaner left??
That’s fucking beautiful! Is it a female?
holy cock sucking shit that’s wrong in every fucking way
[...] AAAAAHHHHHHHH infect others: [...]
it is a sand flee one of the sheepshead favorite food