Your AAA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Moment For Today
September 11th, 2009 | researchmaterial
From DiscoveryOn:
A rare parasite which burrows into host fish before eating and replacing their tongues with itself has been found off the Jersey coast.
Ready?
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Miss Piggy?s Teaches of Peaches
Coilhouse - 20 Nov 09
Every time an issue of the magazine goes to print, things somehow turn Highly Inappropriate here at Coilhouse. This is apparent to anyone who was there on Twitter during the hours of our final revision deadline yesterday night. And it’s only going to get worse before Issue 04’s out. So to celebrate, a video of Miss Piggy singing “Fuckt the Pain Away” by Peaches. It’s that kind of day.
[via Shannon]
claytoncubitt: Will Blanche, ?The Newly Constructed Towers of...
Brian Wood - 20 Nov 09
Will Blanche, ?The Newly Constructed Towers of the World Trade Center Seen From the South Side on West Street, May, 1973? (via These Americans)
See also: Mitch Epstein, ?West Side Highway, New York City? [looking towards World Trade Center] 1977
Percy Jackson trailer
Kung Fu Monkey - 20 Nov 09
Seriously, if I were 12, this would have melted my brain. I love this trailer.
JOURNAL: How to Break and Open Source Insurgency
John Robb - 20 Nov 09
Short Answer: divide it.
It's long been my contention that Iraq was stabilized at an acceptable level of controlled chaos due to a happy accident by al Qaeda (in an attempt to expand/lead the loose insurgency in a new direction). What did they do? They blew up the Golden Mosque in Samara in 2006. This act of symbolic terrorism did indeed disrupt social networks as anticipated, however the consequences were ultimately disastrous for the Iraqi open source insurgency.
The reason for this is it broke the dynamics of the open source insurgency in ways the US and Iraqi government's COIN efforts could not. First, it created a permanent split between Sunni and Shiite insurgent groups/militias. Coopetition ended. Second, it motivated large Shiite militias to start an ethnic cleansing of Sunni areas. This put acute pressure on Sunni guerrilla groups who were too small (by design to avoid US counter-pressure) to defend themselves against large militias operating in the open. The result was an opening, very close to the one I described in my 2005 NYTimes OpEd, that allowed the US to convert Sunni guerrilla groups into militias that were not loyal to the central government (in direct contradiction to its COIN manual).
It's a nice example of the dynamics of many to many conflict, social network disruption, and the development open source counterinsurgency.
See this excellent description at the blog, "Musings on Iraq" for more detail on the ethnic cleansing operations. It also includes this money quote: "the majority of the Sunni insurgency gave up and switched sides to align with the Americans rather than face annihilation at the hands of the Shiite militias, Al Qaeda in Iraq, or the United States."
NOTE: it's pretty clear from the above that social network disruption (either through attacks on symbolic targets or blood and guts terrorism) is like playing horseshoes with live hand grenades. It's ultimately a losing strategy for advancing an open source insurgency. Social network disruption is very likely to break standing order 6: don't fork the insurgency.
Twitter Updates for 2009-11-20
Girl Farts - 20 Nov 09
- @ibrill That podcast was fun. Thanks for the link. in reply to ibrill #
- @Alejandrobot TEASE! in reply to Alejandrobot #
- Well I didn't spend the day on the work I'd planned, but it was a productive day nonetheless. Best to be grateful for that much, I guess. #
- @dustinharbin Oh, you are not kidding, my friend. in reply to dustinharbin #
- @ivanbrandon Remember that screechy "READ THE BILL!" woman? I just DL'd it. It's TWO THOUSAND PAGES LONG. #
- @ivanbrandon Here's what concerns me: has ANYONE read it? in reply to ivanbrandon #
- @ivanbrandon Awesome. in reply to ivanbrandon #
- @BrianReed I'm tempted to do a search for that string. in reply to BrianReed #
- And sometimes a cat pees on your kid's blanket and beloved sheepskin rug. #
- @laurennmcc I like this plan. in reply to laurennmcc #
- I don't remember what I was going to say. #
- @JHickman Pluck or wax! in reply to JHickman #
- RT @JHUniverse …On Black Friday, from 7:00am to 9:00 am at both JHU Locations, EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE will be 33% off! #
- Depressing news of the morning: Jobless rate for African-American men is 17.1%. SEVENTEEN PERCENT. #
- RT @mtvsplashpage: 'Wire' Star Idris Elba Joins 'Thor' Cast As Heimdall http://bit.ly/6NTSGc #
- I want a lime green tablecloth, 120" rectangular and NOT PAPER. Why is that hard? #
- @amosborne Yeah, or Hunter or Forest. But I want something a little more lively. Apple or Lime, I'm hoping. May just forgo it for a runner. in reply to amosborne #
- @Karajo Yeah, it's for Thanksgiving dinner, so I'd rather something in actual fabric. in reply to Karajo #
- @Karajo Ariana may have found one for me. I'm also told to check Crate & Barrel and Pier One. in reply to Karajo #
- RT @SteveNiles: Fangoria Interview http://twurl.nl/1y2ulh #
LINKS: 20 NOV 09
John Robb - 20 Nov 09
Some random items of interest:
- Vigilante militias in Rio are displacing the drug gangs -- favelas under the control of militias has grown from 108 in 2005 to 400 in 2008 (out of 965). Why? They have a better (albeit parasitic) conflict/business model than the drug gangs since they act as a substitute for missing public goods/services normally supplied by the government. First, they provide a minimal level of security and conflict adjudication. Second, they make more money than the drug gangs by "taxing" everything from propane to cable TV to the gray market.
- US gray economy estimated at $1 Trillion (not including criminal, outside of the evasion of taxes and regulation, activities) and growing faster than the "legal" economy.
- Proposal and wiki for an open source fabrication lab.
- Somali pirates are expanding operations into the Indian ocean. The combination of positive feedback loops (maritime insurance + rapid payoffs by crisis negotiators) and legal ambiguity (the biggest fear of a western navy and governments is that they might arrest a pirate -- prompting a massive/expensive legal tussle with few certain penalties and the forced extension of a visa to the former pirate once he is released from his short incarceration). Is a franchise model for other locales possible?
- A business group in Ciudad Juarez asks for UN peacekeepers. Hilarious. "Ciudad Juarez, population 1.5 million, has an average of seven homicides a day, with the total at 1,986 for this year through mid-October."
- Seccession.net. County based secession effort.
Yume no Byouin Project
Jean Snow - 20 Nov 09
Beautiful (and simple) site design featuring the illustrative work of Yorifuji Bunpei. Via Paul Baron.
Kodai
Jean Snow - 20 Nov 09
Coming up at the Kakitsubata gallery in Nakameguro is the show “Kodai,” running from November 25 until December 6.
Gah! Fuck!
now where did I put that oven cleaner? my eyes need to not exist anymore.
The little bugger’s got his front legs doing Montgomery Burns’ “Excellent” shtick.
WTF indeed… hum.. i’ll go check myself, just in case, thx sir.
-by unDaveâ„¢
Well, it is the Jersey coast…
This is beautiful, in a ‘fascinated-by-nature’ way.
It’s the inscrutable smile on the little fucker that gets me every time…
Holy mother of FUCK that’s cool.
If your interested in more parasitic what the fuckery Mr Ellis… the mind controlling Leucochloridium paradoxum. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWB_COSUXMw
UGHHHH I was eating breakfast.
I swear that wee bugger has hands, just look at the third pair down. @geekgrrl - when you’re done with the oven cleaner, hand it over with all speed, will you?
I used to have this critter’s wikipedia page up for reference. Crazy awesomeness. Working parasites!
I’ve seen this one before. Do NOT read too much about parasites; you will never sleep again, having become convinced that the world’s creatures are just WAITING to colonize you.
Ugh, that is just so completely horrible. My tongue now has that metallic taste out of sympathy.
If it colonizes a giant squid and someone gets a picture, that would be even worse….
I’m for nuking the oceans. Anyone else?
I happen to know more that a few people that really need one of those implanted… I just didn’t believe they existed.
Not necessarily related, but I thought the minds which peruse this blog would be interested in knowing that we’re on the verge of placing life forms into quantum superpositions.
http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arxiv/24101/
seti eel, eat your heart out.
I FEEL PRETTY!
I’m fascinated by how that tiny stuf of fish tongue still left kinda looks like the creature’s penis.
Scary little bastard, isn’t he?
[…] no blog do Warren Ellis, mas deu na Discovery: Um raro parasita que se abriga dentro do peixe hospedeiro antes de comer […]
How does the parasite taste? It could turn out to be like an aquatic-meat chocolate covered peanut.
‘ere. ‘ow do I know you didn’t just shove a sand louse in some poor bluefish’s craw, publish a photo on the internet and launch a MEME OF FAKERY???
Ah, nature; The gifts you give us…
It is as nothing compared to the terrifying Cordyceps fungus. Which actually Makes Ants Into Its Zombie Slaves:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuKjBIBBAL8
It’s kinda cute.
Species is Cymothoa exigua - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cymothoa_exigua
Best part: “The parasite then replaces the fish’s tongue by attaching its own body to the muscles of the tongue stub. The fish is able to use the parasite just like a normal tongue. It appears that the parasite does not cause any other damage to the host fish. … This is the only known case of a parasite functionally replacing a host organ.”
wait, fish have tongues?
wait, are those human teeth???
Quaid. Quaid. You must start the reactor.
That is an adorable parasite.
Saw a bunch of these when I worked in a grocery store. We kept a few whole fish and some fish heads on ice. The isopods freaked me out yeah, but I found them far less disturbing than the red brain ooze that would pour out of the back of the fish head when we’d pick it up to check for ‘em. Pretty common, we’d spot a few every week. Kinda became a running gag with us boys behind the counter. This was in Mass, US, be-tee-dubs.
Kevin Smith did a podcast about this once. lol That is freaking crazy.
Came across this animation a little while ago, which shows cymothoa exigua in a human host. It’s both hilarious and terrifying:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f9KlpvAfko
Alienses 7….Ripley meets Quato
The creatures existence is old news. The WTF is that IT’S IN JERSEY!!!
Coinicidentally, the always great Radiolab just did a show on parasites. Worth listening to for the interview with the guy who sells the hookworms he farms out of his own poop: http://blogs.wnyc.org/radiolab/2009/09/07/parasites/
oh wow i’m pretty sure i’ve actually seen this with mine own eyes before.
i was swimming by myself off the coast of Papamoa, Mew Zealand, and this skinny little fish was swimming around me really slowly. So slowly that I could actually pick it up… I lifted it’s face to mine to do the immortal “hello little fishy” greeting, and this crazy little insect thing that was INSIDE ITS HEAD looked back at me.
Needless to say, I threw it away as soon as i realised what i was looking at (and squealed like a little girl)…. but it still inhabits my dreams to this day.
*shudders*
@Raymond Conion: what, and mutate these fuckers so they can colonize US? No thank you!
[…] Warren Ellis: Your AAA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT Moment For Today, and also BBC News] Leave a […]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH EVIL SHRIMP. FUCK.
Can you eat it?
Why do you exist?
You need to feed me blood!
aww, he’s a cutie!
“hello! I am your tongue now!”
AAAGH, CHRIST!
WHY DID I CLICK??
:goes to look for the bleach:
I call “shenanigans” on the original article. I’m a fisheries biologist and there are all kinds of wacky inconsistencies in that “article”. First, that family of isopods is not rare; they are exceedingly common globally. Second, the text of the article says that the host fish is a “weaver fish” (of the Family Trachinidae). The fish in the picture is a sheepshead (Archosargus probatocephalus). The weaver fish are found on the eastern atlantic coast and the sheepshead is found only on the western side of the atlantic. Third, if “Marine researcher” Paul Chambers has never seen an isopod before, I think the only marines he’s been researching live in barracks. Oh, and for everyone assuming that they’re talking about the New Jersey coast, you might want to read a little closer, or at all. BUT, the picture IS of a parasitic isopod that does effectively replace a fish’s tongue, and the fuckers WILL gouge you if given the chance.
Wikipedia says the little monster doesn’t kill the fish, doesn’t even eat its food, only stays there, sucking blood & maybe eating some discarded skin or something. How the $#(*&^ does something this creepy evolve to replace the tongue then? Need some of that bleach/oven cleaner that’s been passed around, stat!
Yeah that’s horrible. Reminds me that people make a lot of monster movies that are really far-fetched considering you don’t have to look far to find real ones.
Also see this little beastie I noticed on BoingBoing. It’s a real pain to remove apparently.
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/09/09/botfly-maggot-remove.html
ALIEN!!!!
Kinda like that movie….WTF indeed!
Kirby
parasite credo: “I’ll have what he’s having”
When I first heard about these things I thought to myself it would be hilarious if one could somehow dare the body mod community into taking them up as a fashion statement. I lack the influence but you, you have the ear of BMEzine, Warren. You could do this.
You must.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!:
http://www.boladedragon.com/dragonball/fotos/spmet_artworks/babidi.jpg
…I see fish teeth.
Is it sad that I now find that more peculiar than the tongue-eating parasite?
After seeing this Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are going to show up and zap you with that red-light-pen-thingy.
[…] it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite. [Image via Warren Ellis] Author: admin Categories: cool Tags: Comments (0) Leave a […]
yep,it sure is the next step in body art. the thing is profoundly inspiring and interresting visually. reminds me of urotsukidodji. Big Sweaty English Man has already used that in transmet no? si.
What gets to me is that it was found outside of Jersey (as in Channel Islands Jersey), and not New Jersey. That bug is really unnerving though, I just can’t wrap my mind around it for some reason.
[…] http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=7729 a few seconds ago from Gwibber […]
I like how the guy that Photoshopped this left the human teeth at the top.
That’s not photoshop jackass. That’s a really disgusting piece of reality.
It’s kinda cute…
[…] replaces it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite. [Image via Warren Ellis] This entry was posted in Fish, Monsters among us, parasite, tongue and tagged greader. […]
meh, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen freakier in your Conan posts.
where the hell do you come up with this shit? I mean seriously?! and don’t say the internet, cause I use that, and I don’t find….i don’t what that is, but i don’t find this kinda shit in my inbox.
guh….
J–
[…] have got to be kidding me: http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=7729 […]
[…] has been doing the rounds, so blog pedigree as follows: Io9.com viaWarren Ellis, who got it from DiscoveryOn. Title is borrowed from Warren Ellis, who pretty much summed it up […]
Man, I just hope the parasite doesn’t crap down its host’s throat. That would be rude.
Y’know, if this thing can replace a tongue but not actually have any other detrimental effects on the host, then do you think there might be a market for them? Some people like doing weird things to their bodies, maybe some would like parasites for tongues.
Is it just me or does this article make anyone else think of Kanye West?
Oh…My….God. I’m appalled that I find him in any way cute, as this is gross-tastic.
Thanks for that.XD
[…] to Warren Ellis for introducing me to this one. This is a parasite that goes in a fish’s mouth and then replaces its tongue. And, […]
Not surprised you’d find such horrifying things at the Jersey Shore.
[…] “Weaver fish off the Jersey coast have fallen prey to a horrific parasite: an isopod that devours the fish’s tongue and then replaces it with itself. Fortunately, it doesn’t eat human tongues, though it will bite.” [Image via Warren Ellis] […]
A great analogy for describing wall street bankers
looks a lot like Lloyd Blankfein, don’t ya think?
Why does that fish have human teeth?
URGH!!!
that thing reminds me of my ex. Boys, any of that oven cleaner left??
That’s fucking beautiful! Is it a female?
holy cock sucking shit that’s wrong in every fucking way