I Must Destroy These People

August 27th, 2009 | brainjuice

http://talklikewarrenellis.com/

26 Responses to “I Must Destroy These People”

  1. Owned. ;)

  2. Made my day. Godspeed y’all.

  3. You got to admit they definitely captured some of your essence.

  4. Hahaha, awesome.

    I just got ATTENTION SCUM: hahaha suffer

    Which I think sums up your artistic message rather well.

  5. I made a joke to a friend about something similar the other day & now it’s a reality…scary. Who is reading my thoughts??

  6. [...] Nevett points out it was Ellis himself who made the discovery, pledging, “I Must Destroy These [...]

  7. “Good afternoon, twitternet horrormonkey swarm.”

    Do you really bleed Red Bull?

    *wide eyed wonder*

  8. Apparently they HAVE gotten hold of some of your essence.

    I’m somewhat surprised the syringe didn’t melt.

  9. “Good morning, goatfelchers of the internet. I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU”

    I don’t think it’s a random generator at all. I think it’s Warren Ellis himself, inventing new ways of spreading his unique vision to us all.

  10. Sorry Warren, we don’t need you anymore. The robots have taken your place

  11. I reloaded it 1000 times and got the entire script of THUNDERBOLTS: CAGED ANGELS. I turned my computer off but it KEPT RELOADING.

  12. “Good afternoon, you petrochemical post-singularity porn apes of the internet.”

    Woot!

  13. I’m wondering if someone from the Bendis Board had a hand in this, what with our yearly “Talk Like Frank Miller Wrote It” day.

    Also, this is epic, and has allowed me to taunt my employees with all shiny, all new salutations every ten minutes. “Good evening, you post-singularity exploding orgasm fruitbats of the intertube.” Might be the greatest thing ever.

  14. I like this one :
    ATTENTION SINNERS: Everyone take their clothes off now.

  15. [...] OMG http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=7686 He posted it! That’s why we have traffic! 2 hours [...]

  16. Hahaha oh god can’t stop hitting reload, way too funny.

  17. “Good morning, walking slabs of haunted pork.”
    There’s something eerily astute about this programs appraisal of the phenomenon of consciousness. Warren, your digi-dopple has become sentient and is already mocking our designerless, chaos born meat-suits.
    I have to say, if there’s a machine out there most-likely to turn against us, chances are good it would be one designed to imitate the mannerisms of Warren Ellis.
    After all, who could possibly hate their creator more than a being designed in your image?

  18. I think I HAVE seen you say this one once: Good morning, walking slabs of haunted pork.

  19. I’ve been running around, refreshing and waving a cane around, playing Warren Ellis

  20. “Good afternoon, vectors of contagion. I’m off to the pub.” Sounds like a splendid idea I must say. Although I’m kinda busy hitting “reload” on a website for the moment… I’ll go tomorrow instead!

  21. I find it scary that the website is better at it than Warren. ;)
    Pretty soon he won’t need to update at all, just link and reload.

    J

  22. “ATTENTION SCUM: nnaaaaarg fuck cough spit twitch jerk.”

  23. Good day, my horrendous orgasm chupacabras. I hate you with the fire of ten suns.

  24. I got

    ATTENTION SCUM: Damn you all. (waves cane menacingly) (coughs consumptively)

    Followed by Good evening, you spectral porn chimpanzees of the intertube. Which I think I need to make into a shirt

  25. Good night, stains on the escutcheon of humanity itself.

    I can’t stop

  26. … because next, they will write a program that writes comic scripts, and then you’re out of a job?


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PauseTalk Tonight

Jean Snow - 05 Sep 10

Just your friendly neighborly reminder that this month’s PauseTalk (Vol. 44) happens tonight (September 6) at Cafe Pause, with the usual start time of 20:00 (and the cafe reserved from 19:30). As previously mentioned, I’ll bring out the magazines from last month’s SNOW Magazine Cafe, for anyone who didn’t get at chance to check out the event.

Wired Type Missteps

Jean Snow - 05 Sep 10

Wired on iPad

Just over a week ago the latest issue of Wired (September 2010) was released for iPad, and as I’ve done for all issues released for the device so far, I immediately bought it. Yes, despite the less-than-perfect way they’ve handled the digital conversion of the magazine, I’ve been enjoying the magazine, not only because of its nice price — for us Tokyo expats that is, although I still want an even cheaper subscription option — but also because I like the way it reads, and the way the material is presented (and those videos have been quite good too).

BUT, I was pretty surprised at some rather ridiculous flubs in the latest issue, both cases tied to the use of type. First example, pictured above, is an entire story — which also happens to be part of the issue’s cover story, “The Web is Dead,” which means it’s long — presented as white text on a red background. Really? Did anyone at Wired actually try reading the article after it was set in those colors? My eyes were practically in tears by the time I got to the end.

Wired on iPad

Next up was the use of type too tiny to read. The image above shows said article in landscape mode, and that “Buried” piece is where you encounter the problem — interestingly (if that’s the right word) enough, if you change it to portrait mode, it’s the page’s other article that becomes barely readable.

The big issue here is that these problems are tied to the fact that you can’t change type size in the magazine. So far it hasn’t been an issue for me because all previously issues were formatted in a way that made all text very readable on the iPad screen. I can appreciate that adjustable type size would ruin layouts, and I do like the layouts we’re offered in the magazine, but you can’t sacrifice readability just to make sure a column fits somewhere, or to attain a certain aesthetic (in the case of white type on red).

IT?S FUSTY IN HERE!

William Gibson - 05 Sep 10

As the London Times recently said of my living room, though you probably didn’t see that, as it’s behind their subscription wall. Had to check the definition. Hope they meant more “markedly old-fashioned” than “rotten”.

Starting tomorrow on the 36-day pre-Canadian leg of the Zero History tour. US and UK schedules are behind the button on this site’s front page. The subsequent Canadian dates (all in October, save for Nov 1 in Victoria BC) are behind the modest blue link on that schedule page.

Have not been blogging for quite a while, hence the fustiness, due mainly to the sublime ease of Twitter, whereon I am @GreatDismal and quite annoyingly posty.

Hope to get a bit of a breeze through here, with the constant traveling and all.

Sunday Supplemental: Aqua Team Hunger Fortress 2

Ectoplasmosis - 05 Sep 10

One of the more successful Team Fortress 2 video mini-memes is the Dr. Weird dub. With audio taken from animated shorts preceding episodes of the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the new animations (done with TF2 character models in Source Filmmaker) are short, simple, and funny. I post this as an introductory demonstration of the versatility of the game assets, and the ingenuity of the fan community. Enjoy.

Previously:
Meet the Team


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Marcel the Shell With Shoes On

Coilhouse - 04 Sep 10

An animated short of MAXIMUM MEMEWORTHY ADORABLENESS, directed by Dean Fleischer-Camp. (“I am a director and an editor. And I literally got a college degree in making movies! You believe that? A COLLEGE DEGREE. College for movies? Hah! Can you beat it? I don’t think so– movies are the best!”) He is made of awesome. Go check out his website RITE NAO.

Marcel the Shell is voiced (“untreated and unenhanced”) by Jenny Slate– yes, the very same Jenny who dropped an F-Bomb during the live taping of her SNL debut. Prepare to squee your pants.


Post tags: Animation, Memes, Silly-looking types

Katy Perry's Illuminati, MK-Ultra Commercial

jwz - 04 Sep 10

The Vigilant Citizen is one of the world's finest blogs.

This commercial intended for German television has it all: checkerboard patterns everywhere, transhumanism, deshumanization, mind control, alter-personalities, Marilyn Monroe (the original Monarch sex kitten), the colors white, black and red, etc.

"We love to entertain you". In other words, this is the kind the stuff that is supposed to entertain you.

Oh, it does. It does.

Trooper lovins

jwz - 04 Sep 10

Prepare Thyself For? THE EXORSISTER!

Coilhouse - 04 Sep 10

Holy balls, kids. HOLY. BALLS.

These are stills from a clip of one seriously wackypants “Japanese punk rock Exorcist homage” called (appropriately enough) The Exorsister. It comes to us courtesy of the ever-terrifying and wondrous Weird Shit Magnet that is Dogmeat, who says “I’m laughing, because this is one clip where even I ask myself ‘Where do you get these?’ Stick around for the octopus attack… as if you would turn this off!”

Definitely not safe for work. Click the collection of stills above… IF YOUR DARE.


Post tags: Cyberpunk, Fetish, Grrrl, Horror, Japan, Madness, Punk, Sexuality, Silly-looking types

mixtape 093

jwz - 04 Sep 10

Please enjoy jwz mixtape 093.

Some of these videos don't play, because all extant copies on Youtube are marked "embedding disabled". I even tried re-uploading them, and the fabulously evil content-ID system re-fucked the new copies too. So, the copyright holders would rather you not become familiar with the work of the artists whom they purportedly represent. Oh well.

Lilofee

jwz - 04 Sep 10