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This Can Only End Well, Obviously

Okay, so my friend the writer Matt Fraction has to drive from Kansas City MO to Portland Oregon. He’s been making noises about having to "prepare" for the drive. I assumed he meant, you know, food, water, beads to trade with the locals on route, a gun with a single bullet in the chamber…

He meant something else. His preparation for this trip is actually, um…



Kelly Sue’s currently shouting DO NOT GET ARRESTED at him on twitter.

Published in people I know


  1. Leo Leo

    Will it be the Cub’s shirt, or the sacks of stolen loot in the trunk.

  2. Christopher Christopher

    We’ll take good care of him here in PDX. We’ve got lots of sex shops and strip bars.

  3. That should be a fun drive. I moved from Detroit to Portland a week and a half ago, and made the drive with 2 cats, girlfriend and 7 year old. Good times.

  4. Jason Jason

    He forgot the nun’s habit

  5. That outfit should be good for a free Nyquil cream filled at Voodoo Donut.

  6. Is he moving to Portland, or just visiting? Anyone know?

  7. If he has to go through Kansas, he’s as good as in jail. Poor guy.

  8. Alan Vickers Alan Vickers

    Yeah, seriously, don’t get arrested. Years ago, the brother of a friend of mine was driving on the LA freeway after cleaning out his desk from the animation studio he worked at. Stuck in traffic and on a lark he pulled his Creature From the Black Lagoon mask and replica WWII era German Luger out of the box and decided to mess around with the pretty blonde in the car next to him. He slipped on the mask, made appropriate monster noises and began waving the Luger around, catching her attention. She calmly took out her very real gun and shot him in the shoulder. When the police eventually showed up at the ditch he’d crashed into they sited him for wearing the mask, committing assault (but not battery, he just waved the fake gun in a threatening way) and a number of vehicular related offenses.

  9. Alan — Oh excellent. That’s great. Now I’m not worried at all.

    Brandon — Moving.

  10. Thanks Kelly Sue! It’s good to hear it from an authoritative source.

    On behalf of Portland: Welcome home!

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