Conan! What Is Best In Life?

July 12th, 2009 | people I know, photography, researchmaterial

"BATTLE!"

(warrenellis.com is not safe for work. Conan! posts are not safe for your perception of 21st Century society.)

(Hello to anyone coming here from Observer Music Monthly. The post they were citing is very short and is here.)

(tip of the hat to Jordan at ModBlog, doing a fine job)


34 Responses to “Conan! What Is Best In Life?”

  1. Oh man, that’s nasty.
    Marvellous!

  2. I think I love you.

  3. I kept saying “WHAT” but it didn’t make any sense even after a dozen or so times.

    I’m frightened.

  4. huh.

  5. But…

    How…

    Why…

    *head explodes*

  6. “not safe for your perception of 21st Century society”

    Ha! Mine was ruined after BME Pain Olympics.

  7. That’s the best Conan I’ve ever seen. I wish the hydra had a third head.

  8. That may be the ugliest penii I’ve ever seen, and that’s without seeing Carrot Top’s yet (so far I’ve evaded it).

  9. I knew better, but I still looked. Now, my cerebellum has petrified, rendering me inert.

  10. Friend: “I think Warren Ellis has some….issues”

    Me: “No. I think Warren Ellis has some normalcies. Everything else is issues”

  11. I used to think I couldn’t be phased by the CONAN! posts anymore. I thought I’d seen it all.

    *eyes bleed*

  12. Man, that’s just… wrong. And by ‘wrong’ I mean bloody WRONG!

  13. AUUGGHHH! MY EYES!!!!! ASSHOLE, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO FOR EYES NOW?!?!??!!!

  14. “the indescribable horror…!”

    …can you be sure it *wasn’t* carrot top?

  15. Ginger? Really? Warren you shouldn’t show us things like that.

  16. Now THAT is a natural redhead.

    (No, Mr. Ellis, that sort of photo is no longer shocking to me. But please do not try to shock me further, for I’m still traumatized by the eels.)

  17. Not Carrot Top, d@arby. He’s been on a weightlifting, tanning, & steroids kick for a long time. That torso looks nothing like his… yeesh.

  18. It’s weird to think some people from Observer Music Monthly are about to stumble unwittingly down the “rabbit hole”, despite a fairly charitable and serious warning. I’d feel pity for them, but Warren has now forcibly removed all my emotions save Unspeakable Horror and Impotent Awe.

  19. Well, I can’t say I wasn’t warned … hope I never have to stand next to either guy in a public toilet, not without a raincoat. Still don’t get the Conan reference, though.

  20. It looks like an arrow through a heart. This is truly 21st century sweet!

  21. Sooo, the nice folks from Observer Music Monthly are going to come over and say, ‘Oh, here’s the link that nice Mr. Ellis provided us and… Conan? I LIKE Conan. Let’s see what THAT’S about.” Click…

  22. ive always wondered about that…. Can each of the bitties wiggle independently of each other?

  23. split dick. seen that.
    I am wondering at the impossibly harilessness of the 1 guy not even the trace of a folicle. How on earth does one achieve that? Full body electrolysis with gear from Mr Tesla.

  24. It makes a little heart! That’s so cute.

    And the other dick is like an arrow. Valentine’s day dicks!

  25. I’ve been on the Internets long enough that the only thing which really, really bothers me about this post… Is the tags it’s filed under.

    “Research?” Wibble.

  26. Please, tell me you have a photo of a woman with two vaginas.

    Only this could restore the balance of existence.

    This, and a movie with all them together.

  27. What is the research? Measurement of our gag reflex? Warren, I think you need a paddling, and I’m willing to administer it to you. :=)

  28. LOL! Looks more like patty cake…

  29. I have been giggling now for some five minutes. I know I should be disgusted. I know I should be horrified. I know I should, but all I can hear is monster noises and imagine them Harryhausenly nipping at one another. Thank you sir.

  30. Why God? WHY!?

  31. It’s not the sight that will haunt my dreams tonight. It’s wondering “How the fuck did they DO that? Prosthesis? Surgery? Mutation? Photoshop?”

  32. and sometimes, just sometimes, I see something here that make me wish I were a girl^^

  33. This puts my dick fights to shame. Time to get out the ole widdling knife and band-aids.

  34. It bothers me.

    No, not the split penis. The redhead’s body hair. I find that more disquieting than the split penis, and I weep for my lost innocence.