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Si Spurrier’s SHORT AND CURLIES #1

At bleedingcool:

The next movie I write will be Jurassic Park 4: ADAMZOIC, in which a group of committed Creationists sneak onto a dinosaur-infested Island in an attempt to prove that humans and slavering proto-avian carnivores can live in harmony, as in Eden. The film will be 3 hours long; will feature multiple variations on the theme of Cute Naked People being disembowelled while trying to sing hymns; will include at least one incidence of punning, based on the words “pray” and “prey”; and will end when the sole survivor realises the error of her ways, embraces the Power Of Darwin, and spontaneously evolves a set of wings to escape.

Then gets shot down by Jeff Goldblum: Avenger Of Maths.

Published in people I know


  1. dear god that’s brilliant. surely this will be in 3-D?

  2. I would actually watch that movie.

  3. Add a scene where they have to recover their last bible from T. Rex dung and I’m sold.

  4. Please say it’ll have Samuel L. Jackson show up and deliver his “Pulp Fiction” bible verse/threat at some point to the Creationists, which could also be a paradox if he encountered the head of the character he played in the first movie hanging from a tree limb or rolling around on the jungle floor. But of course, you wouldn’t want the film to devolve into stupidity, right?

  5. Illogic Illogic

    It must include a cameo by Asian scientist guy that nods while saying “Velociraptor” in the first movie.
    Well… it should!

  6. Peter Peter

    Si Spurrier ably transmutes profanity into comic gold.

    And yes, I’d watch dinosaurs dining on cretinous creationist chow any day.

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