Si Spurrier’s SHORT AND CURLIES
July 2nd, 2009 | people I know
Writer Si Spurrier is not a real man because he’d rather watch LABYRINTH than THE GODFATHER, but we like him nonetheless, and would like to announce that he is launching a new weekly column at bleedingcool called SHORT AND CURLIES.
This is the first edition, which he’s calling #0 because he can’t fucking count. The same kind of mental disability that leads to watching LABYRINTH and cooing over David Bowie’s wig rather than watching THE GODFATHER like a real man.
Whenever my fiancée catches me glowering at some irritating dickwit (a chronic snot-sniffer, let’s say), with that special “Oh God I Haaaaate You” glare – the one that comes naturally to Jack Nicholson, Maths Teachers and all Russians everywhere, but just makes me look constipated – she tells me off and asks how I’d feel if it turned-out I’d accidentally given Said Dickwit a dose of Psychic Cancer. To which I dutifully have to lie that I’d be mortified – oh yes, guilty as sin, sob – then go back to industriously setting fire to kittens or whatever I was doing before the HATING first took hold.
Quite how “Psychic Cancer” transformed into “Comedy Bum-berries” in my dream, I don’t know…




This might not be obvious, but I think he has it out for you.
dear-dear-dear mr ellis,have you seen how many male characters there is in the godfather?
while jennifer connellys’s starring in labyrinth…
Note that The Godfather did not feature Bowie’s endlessly jiggling, hypnotic and quite possibly habit-forming scrotum.