Carnivorous Death Robots

February 3rd, 2009 | researchmaterial

Remember this moment. This could well be the beginning of our long descent into a bad science fiction novel. The kind where we all die at the awful clicking tungsten mandibles of ROBOTS DESIGNED TO EAT EVERYTHING:

A new type of autonomous robot will soon be loosed upon the land. A robot that forages, grazing on weeds and shrubbery, on rotten logs — even on dried out roadkill and other carcasses. This is DARPA’s EATR (Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot), by RTI. It will be fueled by the Cyclone external combustion engine that can run on virtually any type of dry carbonaceous material.

That includes, of course, well-rotted human flesh.

The terms they’d like us to use include "sustainable machines" and "autonomous foraging robots." But you know what they really are. Look at them:

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These are crawling death robots who want to gnaw the meat off our bones. Kill your children now, so that they don’t have to suffer.

(Okay, I admit it, they really look like this:)

18 Responses to “Carnivorous Death Robots”

  1. I think I saw this robot on Robot Wars, Sir Killalot I think it was called :)

  2. So, scale of one to ten, how pathetically geeky is it that I immediately recognized those robot buffalo as Zoids?

  3. You’re… trying to convince us that ZOIDS could eat human flesh?

    That’s low, Ellis.

  4. I’m not so sure the goddamn robots are going to eat our flesh. I mean, c’mon, they don’t even need to subsist off anything other then petrol. I think the robots are going to help us defeat the zombies when that uprising occurs, which is any moment now.

  5. Flesh-eating robots that have all-terrain wheels and are the kid-friendly colour of old JCBs. Lovely. Just lovely.

    How come you tell us this stuff over and over again but don’t do anything about it?

    You just want to wound us emotionally, that’s what I think.

  6. So, they’re death robots with big nobby 4-wheel drive tires on them?

    THIS IS NOT EXACTLY REASSURING

  7. And so in the end, we all get eaten by the bastard sons of Wall-E and a Tonka truck?

    Judging by the back, at least they’ll have endless games of chess to devote their post-humanity time too.

  8. Okay, so the robots in the first picture initially look scarier. What you don’t realise is that the more pedestrian looking one is actually 50 feet tall and uses the pincers to pick up us puny humans and dump us in the Fleshextractotron 5000 (Mk. 2) which it carries on its back.

    We’re obviously fucked so I’m just going to hide in a corner, drink rum and await the end.

  9. Zoids would be pretty cool though.

  10. On the plus side, it probably can’t go up stairs, right? Right?

  11. [...] Warren Ellis warns us of carnivorous death robots [...]

  12. Jeez. They even named them EATRs. How transparent is that? And when did Dick Cheney take over DARPA?

  13. [...] title=”Newsarama: Christopher Yost”>Newsarama: Christopher Yost Not Comics Be Afraid Go Buy Some Darryl Cunningham Paintings Publishing The Return Of Reggie 12 Two More Called Up From [...]

  14. See, this is why I smoke. When the Carnivorous Death Robots come for my blackened flesh it will be so saturated with nicotine and and tar that it’ll gum up their works and kill them. HAHAHA! REVENGE BITCH!

  15. [...] (Link via Warren Ellis.) [...]

  16. . . .and I thought the Daleks were bad.

  17. Tell your weakness to a predator and the result is bloody predictable.

    I think the inventors should be fed to their gizmos, and then such gizmos destroyed.

    As Perillus, their bullish spiritual Father, learned from his ancient brazen device.

    No teaching eating to a new species.

    It may get a taste for our spleen.

  18. [...] war machine sat the top of this articles aren’t what the real ones look like. Check out Warren Ellis’ site for the more mundane [...]


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Complete Plan B Archive

Kieron Gillen - 09 Feb 10

The whole run of Plan B magazine has been released as a single 670Mb PDF. That’s 46 issues of some of the finest music writing of the decade. And a lot of posturing pretentiousness too. It’s like two of my favourite things for the price of one. Or none, as it’s a free PDF.

If you’ve any interest in music in the 00s, or music full stop, this is a great thing to just have on file. You’ll discover a new band every time you browse it.

Hell, it’s even worth getting if you’re one of the games journalist sorts. For the first 10-20 issues or so, I was doing games stuff for it. And Quinns and Mathew Kumar too, who I bullied into contributing. Very much written for the non-gamer about games which get pretty much no coverage, we had fun trying to decode the concept of Outsider Games.

Whole thing here. Go gets!

Coilhouse is Hiring! Apply Here.

Coilhouse - 08 Feb 10

Back around the time of Issue 03, we launched the Small Business Advertising Program to create affordable ad space for indie companies in the print version of Coilhouse. By the time Issue 04 rolled around, the number of advertisers had grown significantly – by this time, we had record labels, jewelry and clothing designers, sculptors, other magazines, web hosts, toy makers and graphic designers advertising in our pages. Click here to see them all. With editorial duties taking up more and more of our time as the weeks go by, the moment has come for us to seek help with the advertising side of running the magazine. We’re looking to hire an Ad Manager for our Small Business Advertising Program, starting with Coilhouse Magazine #05… and possibly subsequent issues.

Full details after the jump!


Read the rest of Coilhouse is Hiring! Apply Here.


Post tags: Coilhouse

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blissblog - 08 Feb 10

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blissblog - 08 Feb 10

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blissblog - 08 Feb 10

State of South Carolina Secretary of State Subversive Agent Form

jwz - 08 Feb 10

Check the appropriate box. Do you or your organization directly or indirectly advocate, advise, teach or practice the duty or necessity of controlling, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, the state of South Carolina or any political division thereof?
[ ] YES [ ] NO

If yes, please outline the fundamental beliefs. If applicable, attach a copy of the bylaws or minutes of meetings from the last year.

"Inflection Points" Presentation

Open The Future - 08 Feb 10

For those folks who are interested, here's the Slideshare version of the presentation I gave last week at the Earthquake Engineering Research Institute annual meeting. I was asked to talk about foresight thinking, as the event theme was "The Big One of 2056: What Went Right?" a look at a fictional 7.8 quake in the SF region that was handled as well as they could imagine possible.

My goal was to offer a bit of reassurance to the audience that there is some real utility to thinking about the future, and to spell out (in a cursory way) the kinds of big picture issues they should keep in mind while looking ahead forty-six years.

By and large, it was a successful talk. The post-talk questions were engaged, with little push-back, and I'm told that the overall response from the audience was quite positive.

The talk was video recorded, and I'm told will eventually be available to the public. I'll link when that happens.

CAN GIFTING ECONOMIES SCALE?

John Robb - 08 Feb 10

A gifting economy is different from a barter or market economy in that valuable items are given away to those that need them, without any quid pro quo, exchange, or payment.  Gifting economics (lots of great papers on this topic) were/are the economic heartbeat of hunter-gatherer tribal cultures, the social organization where we spent 99% of our time as homo sapiens sapiens.  Barter was, in contrast, a mechanism for economic interactions between tribes.  

This gifting economic system wasn't based on pure altruism.  It did have an enforcement mechanism to ensure compliance with the system over the longer term.  On the positive side, there was an intangible increase in the social status (using personal or societal metrics) of a tribal member that gifted an item.  On the negative, a failure to offer hospitality or gifts to those in need was considered a mortal slight that could incite violence or expulsion from the tribe.

There were also a considerable number of drivers for gifting at the tribal level.  Here are some:

  • The survival of the tribe, as a group, was more important than the survival of any individual.  However, the loss of any individual could put the tribe at risk.
  • The generation of surplus and innovation was highly uncertain.  Sharing reduced that uncertainty to manageable levels.
  • Sharing reduced internal friction that could put the tribe at risk.

Scalability

It's pretty clear that the societal drivers of tribal gifting economics and the mechanisms of enforcement didn't survive the transition to a global social system composed of billions of members.   Simply, the connections between any two individuals (outside of immediate familial relationships) are too abstract for these drivers and enforcement mechanisms to be relevant.   As a result, market based mechanisms for economic interaction have gained dominance.

However, the ongoing shift of the global market-based economy from a trade in rival goods (tangible items that invoke zero sum economics) to digital non-rival goods (items that can be copied at no expense or diminishment, endlessly) provides a window of opportunity.  It may be possible to revive gifting economics for non-rival goods to amazing beneficial effect.   Some ideas on how this could scale:

  • Automated reputation metrics that enhance social status based on contributions.
  • Mechanisms built using MMO gaming as a way to tie successful gifting to status improvement (leveling) or an ability to attract investment.
  • The creation of an inside/outside barrier that separates a gifting economy from the global economic mainstream.   Automated mutual interdependence (see my friend Bruce Sterling's absolutely brilliant story on this:  "Maneki Neko").

Latest on SNOW

Jean Snow - 08 Feb 10

Latest on SNOW

So what’s the latest on SNOW? I guess two new developments art that I added a dedicated Twitter feed, and also created a Facebook fan page. The Twitter feed is mostly just automated with new articles from the site — because some people actually prefer that over RSS feeds these days — but I do keep an eye on it, and will reply to questions and comments. The Facebook page is just another way of putting the site out there, and should be a good way of informing members of SNOW-related events as they happen.

Regular content updates have also continued over the past week, with a few new guest columns and my regular news items. Here’s a list of what you may have missed over the past few days.

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blissblog - 08 Feb 10