IMMORTAL JELLYFISH INVASION SWARM

January 29th, 2009 | researchmaterial

OH JESUS CHRIST NO

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The Turritopsis Nutricula is able to revert back to a juvenile form once it mates after becoming sexually mature. Marine biologists say the jellyfish numbers are rocketing because they need not die. Dr Maria Miglietta of the Smithsonian Tropical Marine Institute said: "We are looking at a worldwide silent invasion."

Turritopsis Nutricula is technically known as a hydrozoan and is the only known animal that is capable of reverting completely to its younger self.


18 Responses to “IMMORTAL JELLYFISH INVASION SWARM”

  1. Lewis Page covered the coming Slimepocalypse for El Reg’ back in December:

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/12/15/jellyfish_gone_wild/

    From the article: “These frightful blancmange sargassos send out their wobbling hordes on fearful expeditions of destruction, probing the strength of humanity’s defences in preparation for the long-planned Time of Slime.”

  2. “they need not die”?
    Who wrote this shit – Ann Rice?

  3. So a freakin’ jellyfish discovers the fifth dimension before we do? Greeeaaatt!

  4. Ah, so *that’s* how to remake/remodel Starro the Conqueror for a modern-day audience.

  5. “The jellyfish are originally from the Caribbean but have spready all over the world.”

    Apparently the reporter is practicing his/her pidgin for the inevitable immortal Caribbean jellyfish conquerin’.

  6. I, for one, welcome our new jellyfish masters from the deep. God knows they’d hardly be able to do a worse job of running the place.

  7. The poor bastards go through puberty over and over and over again?

    Maybe we can sap their resources by selling them the jellyfish version of Clearasil.

  8. I, like many others, will be nice and safe inland.

    …until they grow legs.

    WHICH THEY WILL.

  9. […] Immortal Jellyfish Invasion Swarm – “OH JESUS CHRIST NO,” sez Warren Ellis. And he knows. […]

  10. So in the near future demented geneticists will have increased that odds that when you go to bed with your woman, you’ll wake up as a pedophile.

    Wonderful.

  11. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

  12. Meh, if we’re going to get rubbed out it may as well by through drowning in tiny jellyfish. Personally I’d rather it were squid cause they’re bigger, cooler and have awesome beaks for ripping us apart with but I can live with jellyfish.

  13. To be completely honest I envy these little motherfuckers.

  14. Well we can always thin their numbers by scooping the little fuckers up, cramming them into bottles, and selling them to the rich and shallow as rejuvenating gel.

  15. Next up: Swarms of giant worms!

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7852639.stm

  16. I hate jellyfish, since they are only 5mm big, I bet they don’t rejuvenate too well when i step on the ones that make it to shore. >:-)

  17. “Turritopsis Nutricula is technically known as a hydrozoan and is the only known animal that is capable of reverting completely to its younger self.”.

    Hmmm… I think that fact would make fora a cool Animal Man story.

  18. I second MIke D.!