Don’t Look

January 21st, 2009 | researchmaterial

Seriously. Your brain will probably not thank you.

No. Really. Look, I’ll give you a hint as to what’s in there, okay?

3213023145_c24fba0cd5_o

(via Dirk Deppey)

24 Responses to “Don’t Look”

  1. I think the strangest part of that is that Spider-Man does not save his spunk. Or is it the fact that the Flash just jerks a prone, but not seemingly helpless, Spider-Man. Or is it because the Flash kisses Spider-Man through his mask?

    Thank you Warren for making me think these things. Without you, I’d never see half the things I do.

  2. I’m acutually left with more questions.

    First I couldn’t tell who the guy on top was supposed to be (I thought Daredevil at first), either way, I had to wonder why Flash was doing that to Spider-Man, and why he suddenly had such an awful mustache.

    I’m also wondering if Spidey has a severe case of ED.

  3. Shades of the old Flash/Spider-Man crossovers they did in the seventies. Stan Lee and Carmine Infantino were so ahead of the times.

  4. >I’m also wondering if Spidey has a severe case of ED.
    If Flash were doing that to me I would probably experience ED too…

  5. –you know, the weird part to me was the music.
    Not two guys playing out some comicbooks fantasy or other, not the sex, not wondering exactly what was applied to “Spidey”’s skin other than a spandex suit- but the music.

    I become jaded, Mr. Ellis, and I fear you bear some of the responsibility.

  6. Is flash using his speedy powers? Maybe this is happening so fast that spider man can’t see that he’s being jerked off? This must be some kind of high speed camera playing in slow motion.

    I don’t understand why spider man is on these 2×4s propped up by a saw horse.

  7. My neighbors are probably wondering what I am laughing at so loudly. This is just too good.

  8. The music is my favorite part though!

  9. He needs to add some of those onomatopoeia sound bubbles to complete the comic book effect.

    *hoark* *hoark* *hoark* *hoark*

  10. dear warren: thank you for the warning. however, being an idiot, i still fucking clicked on the link. i blame myself completely.

    and yet, i still choose to blame you. it just feels better that way.

  11. What’s Tron Guy doing to Spidey?

  12. Damn it Flash said he wouldn’t release this video! I knew my Spider senses were tingling! Now I know how Pam and Paris feel!

  13. Oh God my childhood is bleeding make it stop

  14. That was thoroughly disappointing. Isn’t The Flash supposed to be supremely fast? And isn’t Spiderman supposed to be… not not flaccid, not retardedly helpless (while he’s not even tied up or anything) and not comatose?

  15. Who ever said that Marvel and DC wouldn’t do anymore cross-over stories!

    This is a blatant rip off of my unpublished comic “What if… The Flash Tossed off Spider-Man.” Sadly, They cut out the scene where Batman turns up with maple syrup and a bunch of bananas. Oh well, no appreciation for true artistry!

  16. […] think Warren Ellis posts this kind of stuff because he hates people and wants to freak you all out and despoil your […]

  17. That’s just made my morning and made me realise how much I love having no internet restrictions at work and a monitor that faces the wall behind me so no-one can rumble my suspect surfing habits.

    It reminds me of my first experience of a live porn show in Amsterdam where the first spectacle I was treated to was a fetching blonde tied to a bed, struggling and pleading for rescue. Who should walk in but a hefty lad in a poorly fitting Batman costume who unties our fair damsel and then pumps her senseless. Throughout the whole process our hero and heroine managed to look bored senseless, I half expected them to start smoking and discussing the latest Eastenders plot developments mid-coitus. The whole experience was rendered all the more bizarre by the guy in the motorised wheelchair who parked at the end of my aisle (maybe two seats away) halfway through and proceeded to drool and make weird noises for the rest of the performance. Truly an education.

  18. This was the episode of “The Electric Company” that really ruined TV for me. On the plus side, the “save your spunk” advice is straight from the bible.

  19. I don’t know which is more disturbing. That people create such films, or that this isn’t the first time I’ve seen Spidy-porn.

    Actually, the other one was much more interesting.

  20. the way flash fades slowly into existence is ominous. like maybe he’s always there when you sleep.

  21. This would have been sooo much better if they hadn’t slowed it down so we could see the Flash clearly. If this were on the order of 14 seconds instead of 14 minutes, even the music would have been sexy and fun. And over.

  22. I haven’t clicked yet. But I’ve read the comments and I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?
    I am. Fuck.

  23. ah, i can’t believe people caught wind of this so fast. i found this video last week on xtube. good times :)

  24. Yakkkk….I’m gay and I didn’t like that! This Mario Bros in Flash disguise and his desire for the corpse of spidey… gay porn is known for hunky man, by god’s sake!!!


Leave a Reply

Positive Reinforcement Therapy

Coilhouse - 20 Nov 09

This one goes out to Nadya, Zo, and especially Courtney Riot, our beloved creative director. Hang in there, babies.


Post tags: Coilhouse, Serious Business

?I?m bad? I?m a man? I HATE my penis.?

Coilhouse - 20 Nov 09

Well hello there!

PrimalScreeeeeamEEEEEAAYYYAAGH

Do you lack healthy boundaries? Are you guilty of the compulsive overshare? All-too-eager to share gory, palpating details with complete strangers that no one besides your own mother and/or proctologist would ever want to know?

Non-consensual rape anecdote telling. Tactical uterus hurling in lieu of real intimate contact. The “I wasn’t breast fed enough so now I need to publicly air my personal anguish to feel properly nurtured and validated” power point presentation. “Cry For Help” cutting (across the street, not down the road). Cloaking references to life-shattering trauma in Obfuscating Yet Ominous Faerie Singsong? (patented by Tori Amos).  “Fuck You Daddy, I’m a Suicide Girl Now!” blog posts. Spontaneous primal scream therapy in the supermarket. If you have ever attempted one or more of these maneuvers, chance are, you’re a TMI Avenger.

Relax. You’re among friends. And you’re gonna loooove Body Memories. A squirm-inducing, low budget indie film directed by the same fella who brought us one of the most fabulous independent documentaries of the decade, Body Memories is…

…one man’s journey inward to find meaning in his life. He becomes an archeologist of the soul, digging through the layers of his past. Evocative images blend with a riveting performance that uncovers family secrets and buried traumas.

Enjoy.

(More clips under the cut.)


Read the rest of “I’m bad… I’m a man… I HATE my penis.”


Post tags: Crackpot Visionary, Culture, Film, Gender, Sexuality, Silly-looking types, Surreal, Testing your faith

Miss Piggy?s Teaches of Peaches

Coilhouse - 20 Nov 09

Every time an issue of the magazine goes to print, things somehow turn Highly Inappropriate here at Coilhouse. This is apparent to anyone who was there on Twitter during the hours of our final revision deadline last night. And it’s only going to get worse before Issue 04’s out. So to celebrate, a video of Miss Piggy singing “Fuck the Pain Away” by Peaches. It’s that kind of day.

[via Shannon]


Post tags: Madness, Music, Puppetry

claytoncubitt: Will Blanche, ?The Newly Constructed Towers of...

Brian Wood - 20 Nov 09



claytoncubitt:

Will Blanche, ?The Newly Constructed Towers of the World Trade Center Seen From the South Side on West Street, May, 1973? (via These Americans)

See also: Mitch Epstein, ?West Side Highway, New York City? [looking towards World Trade Center] 1977

Percy Jackson trailer

Kung Fu Monkey - 20 Nov 09

Seriously, if I were 12, this would have melted my brain. I love this trailer.

JOURNAL: How to Break and Open Source Insurgency

John Robb - 20 Nov 09

Short Answer:  divide it.

It's long been my contention that Iraq was stabilized at an acceptable level of controlled chaos due to a happy accident by al Qaeda (in an attempt to expand/lead the loose insurgency in a new direction).  What did they do?   They blew up the Golden Mosque in Samara in 2006.  This act of symbolic terrorism did indeed disrupt social networks as anticipated, however the consequences were ultimately disastrous for the Iraqi open source insurgency.  

Baghdad_Ethnic_2007_late_smThe reason for this is it broke the dynamics of the open source insurgency in ways the US and Iraqi government's COIN efforts could not.  First, it created a permanent split between Sunni and Shiite insurgent groups/militias.  Coopetition ended.  Second, it motivated large Shiite militias to start an ethnic cleansing of Sunni areas.  This put acute pressure on Sunni guerrilla groups who were too small (by design to avoid US counter-pressure) to defend themselves against large militias operating in the open.  The result was an opening, very close to the one I described in my 2005 NYTimes OpEd, that allowed the US to convert Sunni guerrilla groups into militias that were not loyal to the central government (in direct contradiction to its COIN manual).   

It's a nice example of the dynamics of many to many conflict, social network disruption, and the development open source counterinsurgency.

See this excellent description at the blog, "Musings on Iraq" for more detail on the ethnic cleansing operations.  It also includes this money quote: "the majority of the Sunni insurgency gave up and switched sides to align with the Americans rather than face annihilation at the hands of the Shiite militias, Al Qaeda in Iraq, or the United States."

NOTE:  it's pretty clear from the above that social network disruption (either through attacks on symbolic targets or blood and guts terrorism) is like playing horseshoes with live hand grenades.  It's ultimately a losing strategy for advancing an open source insurgency.  Social network disruption is very likely to break standing order 6:  don't fork the insurgency.

Twitter Updates for 2009-11-20

Girl Farts - 20 Nov 09

LINKS: 20 NOV 09

John Robb - 20 Nov 09

Some random items of interest:

  • Vigilante militias in Rio are displacing the drug gangs -- favelas under the control of militias has grown from 108 in 2005 to 400 in 2008 (out of 965).  Why?  They have a better (albeit parasitic) conflict/business model than the drug gangs since they act as a substitute for missing public goods/services normally supplied by the government.  First, they provide a minimal level of security and conflict adjudication.  Second, they make more money than the drug gangs by "taxing" everything from propane to cable TV to the gray market.  
  • US gray economy estimated at $1 Trillion (not including criminal, outside of the evasion of taxes and regulation, activities) and growing faster than the "legal" economy.  
  • Proposal and wiki for an open source fabrication lab.
  • Somali pirates are expanding operations into the Indian ocean.  The combination of positive feedback loops (maritime insurance + rapid payoffs by crisis negotiators) and legal ambiguity (the biggest fear of a western navy and governments is that they might arrest a pirate -- prompting a massive/expensive legal tussle with few certain penalties and the forced extension of a visa to the former pirate once he is released from his short incarceration).  Is a franchise model for other locales possible?
  • Yes-we-can-secede
  • A business group in Ciudad Juarez asks for UN peacekeepers.  Hilarious. "Ciudad Juarez, population 1.5 million, has an average of seven homicides a day, with the total at 1,986 for this year through mid-October."
  • Seccession.net.  County based secession effort.  

Untitled Post

blissblog - 20 Nov 09

Yume no Byouin Project

Jean Snow - 20 Nov 09

Yume no Byouin Project

Beautiful (and simple) site design featuring the illustrative work of Yorifuji Bunpei. Via Paul Baron.