Don’t Look

January 21st, 2009 | researchmaterial

Seriously. Your brain will probably not thank you.

No. Really. Look, I’ll give you a hint as to what’s in there, okay?

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(via Dirk Deppey)


24 Responses to “Don’t Look”

  1. I think the strangest part of that is that Spider-Man does not save his spunk. Or is it the fact that the Flash just jerks a prone, but not seemingly helpless, Spider-Man. Or is it because the Flash kisses Spider-Man through his mask?

    Thank you Warren for making me think these things. Without you, I’d never see half the things I do.

  2. I’m acutually left with more questions.

    First I couldn’t tell who the guy on top was supposed to be (I thought Daredevil at first), either way, I had to wonder why Flash was doing that to Spider-Man, and why he suddenly had such an awful mustache.

    I’m also wondering if Spidey has a severe case of ED.

  3. Shades of the old Flash/Spider-Man crossovers they did in the seventies. Stan Lee and Carmine Infantino were so ahead of the times.

  4. >I’m also wondering if Spidey has a severe case of ED.
    If Flash were doing that to me I would probably experience ED too…

  5. –you know, the weird part to me was the music.
    Not two guys playing out some comicbooks fantasy or other, not the sex, not wondering exactly what was applied to “Spidey”‘s skin other than a spandex suit- but the music.

    I become jaded, Mr. Ellis, and I fear you bear some of the responsibility.

  6. Is flash using his speedy powers? Maybe this is happening so fast that spider man can’t see that he’s being jerked off? This must be some kind of high speed camera playing in slow motion.

    I don’t understand why spider man is on these 2x4s propped up by a saw horse.

  7. My neighbors are probably wondering what I am laughing at so loudly. This is just too good.

  8. The music is my favorite part though!

  9. He needs to add some of those onomatopoeia sound bubbles to complete the comic book effect.

    *hoark* *hoark* *hoark* *hoark*

  10. dear warren: thank you for the warning. however, being an idiot, i still fucking clicked on the link. i blame myself completely.

    and yet, i still choose to blame you. it just feels better that way.

  11. What’s Tron Guy doing to Spidey?

  12. Damn it Flash said he wouldn’t release this video! I knew my Spider senses were tingling! Now I know how Pam and Paris feel!

  13. Oh God my childhood is bleeding make it stop

  14. That was thoroughly disappointing. Isn’t The Flash supposed to be supremely fast? And isn’t Spiderman supposed to be… not not flaccid, not retardedly helpless (while he’s not even tied up or anything) and not comatose?

  15. Who ever said that Marvel and DC wouldn’t do anymore cross-over stories!

    This is a blatant rip off of my unpublished comic “What if… The Flash Tossed off Spider-Man.” Sadly, They cut out the scene where Batman turns up with maple syrup and a bunch of bananas. Oh well, no appreciation for true artistry!

  16. […] think Warren Ellis posts this kind of stuff because he hates people and wants to freak you all out and despoil your […]

  17. That’s just made my morning and made me realise how much I love having no internet restrictions at work and a monitor that faces the wall behind me so no-one can rumble my suspect surfing habits.

    It reminds me of my first experience of a live porn show in Amsterdam where the first spectacle I was treated to was a fetching blonde tied to a bed, struggling and pleading for rescue. Who should walk in but a hefty lad in a poorly fitting Batman costume who unties our fair damsel and then pumps her senseless. Throughout the whole process our hero and heroine managed to look bored senseless, I half expected them to start smoking and discussing the latest Eastenders plot developments mid-coitus. The whole experience was rendered all the more bizarre by the guy in the motorised wheelchair who parked at the end of my aisle (maybe two seats away) halfway through and proceeded to drool and make weird noises for the rest of the performance. Truly an education.

  18. This was the episode of “The Electric Company” that really ruined TV for me. On the plus side, the “save your spunk” advice is straight from the bible.

  19. I don’t know which is more disturbing. That people create such films, or that this isn’t the first time I’ve seen Spidy-porn.

    Actually, the other one was much more interesting.

  20. the way flash fades slowly into existence is ominous. like maybe he’s always there when you sleep.

  21. This would have been sooo much better if they hadn’t slowed it down so we could see the Flash clearly. If this were on the order of 14 seconds instead of 14 minutes, even the music would have been sexy and fun. And over.

  22. I haven’t clicked yet. But I’ve read the comments and I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?
    I am. Fuck.

  23. ah, i can’t believe people caught wind of this so fast. i found this video last week on xtube. good times :)

  24. Yakkkk….I’m gay and I didn’t like that! This Mario Bros in Flash disguise and his desire for the corpse of spidey… gay porn is known for hunky man, by god’s sake!!!