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You Whining Maggots

I’m getting an astonishing amount of whining in email about how boo hoo Mr Ellis your blog is Not Safe For Work I clicked a link and saw a willy and now I’m going to get fired for looking at illicit dongs (and yet strangely I never complain about Katie West’s tits) while wasting my employers’ time by fucking around on the internet please don’t do it put a big sign on your blog saying NSFW do it do it or I’ll whine until my fucking jaw falls clean off and drops into my dickless unwashed lap.

You want a sign? You need to be told AGAIN? Batcock wasn’t ENOUGH for you? Fine.


Happy now? Good. Now fuck off before I start tracking down your employers and telling them you’re paedophiles.

Published in brainjuice


  1. This guy would have LOVED being an Egyptian when god was doing all that plague shit.

    Boils and locusts? This dude calls that heaven.

  2. melody melody

    some of us don’t have internet at home and keep up with your stuff entirely via public access of some sort. I had actually developed a feed system where I could just avoid any of your postings that had “photography” tags and that covered it up to this point. But now I’ll just remove your site. Can’t afford it, I guess. Thanks!

  3. […] 16, 2007 in Uncategorized AH just when I was feeling my juices a bit low, this happens No Comments Leave a Commenttrackback addressThere was an error with your comment, […]

  4. This amuses me. Mostly because I call my boss into my office to SHOW HIM things like this. My boss is awesome. :D

  5. The whole fucking internet is not safe for work. Death to “not work safe” and “cut” nazi’s!

  6. Susan Susan

    Christ in a handbasket, Warren.

    Then again, I feel it’s deserved. So…

    Now that I’ve seen that, maybe I’m prepared to read Slaughterhouse Five now. Maybe.

  7. Brockers Brockers

    …..HA and I actually enjoy playing NSFW russian roulette with the links. Keep up the good work chap! x

  8. I just assume everything on your site is NSFW. Like, duh.

  9. A diseased penis, covered in crickets. You, sir, are winner of the internet for life. Particularly since the crickets are clearly rather happy…

  10. Jared Good Jared Good

    Bravo Warren! If someone is going to complain about something they fucking did, they seriously need bees in their eyes. BEES!

  11. cichlisuite cichlisuite

    warren, i love you.

  12. naomi naomi

    Why are you people looking at this stuff at work anyway? Jeez. Serves you right if you get caught.

  13. Geesh, Warren… that isn’t NSFW, that’s just gross. I hope I meet the person who did that so I can punch him.

  14. Frito Frito

    Truly, he is a vengeful god! Know him and woe!

  15. I’m with brockers, nothing like getting the blood pumping on a monday morning than sitting with your back to the office and clicking through a modblog link.

    Keep it up you great sicko!

  16. Mr Ellis, I have to ask, can I build a small temple in your honour?

  17. “dickless unwashed lap”

    You motherfucker that’s the name of my new band…

  18. Espana Sheriff Espana Sheriff

    Hahaha… this almost beats the “touched my hear” post, (still seared into my retinas thanks!)

    Yes, this blog is NSF and more to the point not particularily safe for your brain, but that’s the point isn’t it? When I want kittens I’ll go to cuteoverload (and no, that was not a dare, please do not post some horrible mutant two-headed kitten image) Thanks! :)

  19. Today has been a bit shit, and I was feeling shitty. Weirdly enough reading this post brightened my day. Thanks.

  20. I, for one, am not retarded enough to check your site from my workplace, largely because I am familiar with your work and am happy to have it to look forward to. Please don’t change anything up and continue to do what you do.

  21. Myles Griffin Myles Griffin

    I submit to you, Internet Jesus.

  22. optical optical

    The blood makes it somewhat gross, yes, but the crickets, those HAPPY CRICKETS… that’s art.

    Really, people, quit teh whining. If you don’t know the kind of kinks that Mr. Ellis is proclive to, if you aren’t familiar with his work, WTF are you doig here? And besides 2 or 3 unlabeled graphic jolts, there’s always been a big fucking NSFW warning. Plus, anyone on the interweb that clicks blindly (you see that bar in the bottom of your browser? Seen how, when your dick pointer hovers over a link, it shows WHERE THE FUCK YOUR COMPUTER WILL BE MAGICALLY SENT TO?) deserves to get fired.
    Don’t even have phone at home, so you *must* get your illicit kicks at work? Use proxies, deactivate graphics, ban domains, etc., so no penis bonsai hurts your delicate sensibilities.

  23. oh sweet jesus!!

    i can never un-see this!!

  24. bekah bekah

    hm maybe most of those emails are really just earnest attempts at being cleverly funny in a ironic sarcastic kind of way… oh well, fuckem

  25. Alright, now I’ve got to cplain: Where the fuck is the badge on that dick?! What, it’s an uncivil dick?

  26. Alan Alan

    And here I thought the trick was to not get caught surfing at work…

    Undoubtedly, you have won this round, Mr. Ellis.

  27. ahahaha genius
    and they dont even know how deep, messy and damp the web can get, since you give away just little morsels of depravity, not the real deal

    i still remember the girl who got multiple orgasms from maggots and putrid flesh inside her pussy. THAT was shocking.

  28. Alex Roston Alex Roston

    Warren, I think the problem is as follows:

    You’re trying to convince whining maggots to stop being whining maggots. This is simply impossible – it wastes your time and annoys the pig. Or something. I’m mixing metaphors again, but my point remains – idiots are, and always will be idiots, and nothing you do will change that. Even if you kill them all, they’re still DEAD IDIOTS.

  29. theblackscorpio theblackscorpio

    Hi Melody, you seriously need a new job.

  30. Andy Andy

    Warren needs to write children’s books.

    One dick, two dicks, red dick, chewed dick.

  31. I’ve long felt that there are not enough penis pictures on this site.

  32. Christ, Warren, be glad you don’t get the wankers who stretch their willies over the latest fucking eejit gadget. I don’t think they’ve heard anything but language used in Disney films their entire fucking worthless lives!

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