Would You Mind Cooking My Penis?

A clerk at a GetGo station made a horrifying discovery last night after a man walked into the minimart and asked her to heat something wrapped in a paper towel in the store’s microwave.

When the item in the microwave gave off an unusual odor, the clerk opened the oven door, unwrapped the paper and found what appeared to be a severed human penis.

The clerk immediately called police, but the man who handed the item to the clerk fled from the store on Fifth Avenue…

18 thoughts on “Would You Mind Cooking My Penis?”

  1. they wanted to warm it up?
    coulfn’t they just have worn loose clothes and stuffed it under her armpit or boob for a few hours?
    or since it was for a woman, and it’s a fake dick, she could’ve stuffed it inside of her to warm it up, since everythings anatomically correct?

  2. plus, it’s a guy giving his piss for his woman, meaning, i’m sure they’ll test it for estrogen, birth control, etc, finding none or almost none and red flags would’ve been raised.
    nobody does paranoia better than the yanks, so they’ll have those tests included to check for cheaters.

  3. How I ache to move back to the Burgh. All I have in Tallahassee is trios of teenagers raping mentally retarded delivery-women. And let’s face it, that’s just not as marketable as a fake penis in a microwave.

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