The Long March To Nerd Prom Begins

February 16th, 2006 | comics talk

Every hotel room in southern California was booked within eighteen femtoseconds of the San Diego Comics Convention reservations webpage being uploaded. That’s it, people. If you didn’t get your booking confirmed within eighteeen femtoseconds of the starting pistol, you’re screwed. Because there are one hundred thousand hungry people out there who need to attend San Diego Comics Convention in order to walk right past all that comics shit and go straight to sniffing Brandon Routh’s cricketbox, sending bits of themselves to the cast of SERENITY and masturbating ferociously in the men’s stalls while wearing V FOR VENDETTA masks and discounted Hulk Hands.

No, of course I’m not going.

Nerd Prom: It Begins Now. Never forget.

[TAGS]nerdprom, nerd+prom, sdcc, comicon[/TAGS]

73 Responses to “The Long March To Nerd Prom Begins”

  1. Egads is it that scary there?
    I keep debating going this year, and getting an art space in the artshow. Or if it would be worth it.
    I’ve been wanting to go every year for the past 15 or so years, but something always prevents.
    I saw the pix from last year in your Flikr acount..
    Damn atleast at DCon the costumes apear much better.

    Is the guy in the above photo an artist there?!?

  2. And people wonder I went once, and will NEVER go back…

    I was working a table at the 2002 Con. Our table was right near the local Star Wars fanboy table, and one of the wannabe jedi was consistently oggling one of the girls there with me. When I left to go get some coffee from the Starbucks, he made is pass.

    It went something like this:

    “Can I take your picture? Your hair is….pretty.”

    Thr girl in question promptly left and refused to go back.

  3. I’m bringing my woman to NY Comic con in two weeks. She’s been to proper SF cons, like Worldcons and the book-centric Readercon, but never a full blown comic convention. She asked “Is there a big difference?”

  4. Who is this Ellis guy anyway? He thinks he all that cuz he wroted “Planety”. The facts is, KomiKon is AWESOME becuz people dress up like stuff — but nobody dresses like Warner Ellis, I guess, mister sour grapes. I talked to Sumner Glou and she said nobody ever mailed her body parts except for one time an arm and then a messenger brought her a thyroid gland but big deal, SERENDIPITY fans happen to be the most tastefullest fans who have extra or redundant body parts.

    The best thing about Comicvention is the girls are pretty and the younglings are pretty (is that a legal issue?) and the men is pretty when they are Jedi but not so much Sith. I like to meet the Comedy Books artists (Not everyone wants to meet Angelina Michelle Watts, you know) and to buy a picture of an elf or dragon already. So stay off this grumpity webcamsite becuz Warner Ellis is just a grouchypants! I met a real General Griefuss, who amongst you can say that?

    Peace, dog.

  5. Altho that hulk hands thing was me. Sorry. Romulan Ale.

  6. ..see, that could actually BE Joss…

    Or possibly Steven E McDonald.

  7. Nope, turns out that was Joss. I mention this to settle down the dozens of people clicking here from Whedonesque.

    There will, of course, be revenge.

  8. Do you smell that? It’s fanboy, son. Nothing else on the world smells like that.

  9. […] Found in the comments section of this post and later copped-to in email: Who is this Ellis guy anyway? He thinks he all that cuz he wroted “Planety”. The facts is, KomiKon is AWESOME becuz people dress up like stuff — but nobody dresses like Warner Ellis, I guess, mister sour grapes. I talked to Sumner Glou and she said nobody ever mailed her body parts except for one time an arm and then a messenger brought her a thyroid gland but big deal, SERENDIPITY fans happen to be the most tastefullest fans who have extra or redundant body parts. […]

  10. Revenge, eh? So, mister Ellis — (swishes brandy in large glass) — let the games begin, unless they are games of skill, or physical exertion of any kind, or with math. I know the bitter bitter truth, why you are so threatened by my genius, my, class, my big glass of brandy. It’s because you’re so OLD, so terribly terribly OLD, isn’t it! Mountains were hills when you were middle-aged. I hear you left your wife for a younger, trophy Cromagnon. And that you’re… that a young person would find you strange, and… from many years of… you being… DAMN! This round to you, Ellis. But the game is far –(drains Brandy, gasps like beached whale) — from over.

  11. Well, after killing network television he’s moved on to killing the internet. Which will hopefully be just as entertaining.

  12. I am twenty years younger than Joss Whedon.

    Also, HE cannot hide things in his beard.

    …of course, he can pay people to do that for him now. He can even pay people to grow the beard for him. And he doesn’t have to run his own website to look big and clever on the internets.

    Ah, shit.

  13. All right, Ellis, I am a couple of decades older than you. Touche. But you don’t know all of it. Jeph Loebi-Wan never told you the truth about your father…

    Yes. You’re my youngling. Oh for chrissake, everybody knows it but you! Even my beard-growers speak of it freely! Now join me and together we can rule an infintisinimimmsally tiny portion of the galaxy and have a mildly amusing interweb flame war! If you only knew the power of the Hack Side! Join me. Seriously. I’ll cut off your other hand, you pansy.

  14. Boys, boys… don’t fight! I have an idea! DO join up, and write some comics TOGETHER. Deliciously twisted plots and characters, touching moments of hilarity… it.. would… be… og… crap. Fangasm. Now I have to change.

  15. Every time you say “youngling”, I throw up in my mouth a little bit. And look around to see if John Munch from SVU is in the room.

    Look, everybody. Joss and Warren are avoiding writing.

  16. I always suspiciousized that Warren Ellis was the bastard offspring of the Joss….

  17. Are you kidding? This is the most writing I’ve done in months.

    (Warner Brothers execs don’t come here, do they?)

  18. Okay – this is a geek out moment!

  19. Holy Procrastination! I love it! Hey Joss, as long as you’re slackin’, come over to Whedonesque – we need more – uh – you!

  20. No Joss. Stay here. Independant comedy.

    Plus Whedoneqsue kinda scares me, what with the black and all. I’m not a Firefly, I need colour and sound!

  21. Yep… everywhere are having mindgasms in front of their computers… Oops, there goes another one.

  22. Sounds like everything would be swell if they just ‘fessed up their feelings for one another and asked each other out to the Nerd Prom already. Won’t anybody think of the children??

  23. Warner Brothers execs? Did I miss something? *sits and waits for the show to continue*

  24. Despite being about three times my age (ha!,) Joss Whedon sounds (in interwebspeak) pretty much exactly like me.

    Lucky, lucky Joss.

  25. Good god, man. Why would Warner Bros execs want to be anywhere near me? Back when we were doing GLOBAL FREQUENCY I used to hear them slip the condom over the phone before they even spoke to me.

    I’m going to start a rumour that you’re attending San Diego dressed as Wonder Woman.

    And that they will know you by your beard.

  26. … of the “full and manly” kind?

  27. Okay, can nobody type any more words that end in ‘gasm’? I makes me feel not so good.

    The truth is, Ellis is just afraid to say what this is REALLY about. Cassaday. Right, Ellis? He’s drawing Planety AND Admonishing X-mens (now with 17% more Wolverine!) and you hate me for it. You’ve always been jealous — you started your book just to steal him from me — which was idiotic since I didn’t meet him till several years after! Ha! Seriously, Warner, we’re tearing little Johnny apart. Let’s bury the hatchet. Come to the Con with me. Yes, you can dress like Puffy YumiAmi or whatever that thing is you have that outfit of. We’ll have a blast. I’m buyin’ the lead-based food that you have to wait four hours in line for and then rips out of your stomach like you’re John Hurt, and I’ll even buy you a comic. Plus I hear Brandon Routh might be there! He’s dreamy.

  28. Wow, we both went right to the cross-dressing humor! This is just like the Algonquin round table, except there’s only two of us, and no table, and no particular surfeit of wit, and no great certainty about how spell ‘Algonquin’. Huzzah!

  29. I am in the same message thread as both Warren Ellis AND Joss Whedon. I am vicariously famous. Twice.

  30. Is it my birthday? ‘cos I feel like I’m getting a gift that doesn’t end in ‘gasm’ (as far as you know.)

    Teehee, I’m naughty.

  31. When Cassaday masturbates at night in that cell under Joe Quesada’s house HE STILL SAYS


    Astronomical X-Cash is a very popular book, and I like that Johnny has enough money now for things like hair products and food.

    And it’s a Sailor Moon suit, you bastard. Because I hear Brandon Routh is into that. And possibly Nathan Fillion.

    The last time I was at San Diego, I saw a porn star being bitched out by a midget pimp. Who was not a pimp of midgets, but a midget who was also a pimp.

    Your tv show FIREFOX should have had midget pimps in it.

    Is that a guy from The CW I see over there?

  32. yeah. the web needs more bickering from stars. This is clearly more amusing then anything Gawker could put out. go Joss go!

  33. I tell you, we should be putting the word “wit” in inverted commas, before the EFF come after us for intarwub fraud or something…

  34. Hmmm… Ellis and Whedon both going into cross-dressing “cosplay” and both having beards.

    I knew it! They’re both the same person with a penchant for young girls and Anime! Thus begins the revolution! WarJossEliDon for emperor!

  35. Let’s not bad mouth the EFF…. :P

  36. “Anglosaxon X-tracrispy” happens to be ART, you slug, unlike “Globular Frequenting”.

    But the Cassaday thing is true. Joe says it’s freaking his kids out.

  37. The sex tapes that will come out of this cross-dressing, nerd-prom attending date will be worth approximately eleventy billion.

    Ze goggles do nozhing!

  38. I dunno why Joe doesn’t just put the cock-gag back in young Cassaday’s mouth. It muffles the
    noise, and I think he got to quite like it.

    And it’s all he deserves for flouncing off with some poncy Hollywood type to go and draw Anaesthetic X-Wipes.

    I should have given him more barely-contained breasts and large shiny Russian gay porn stars to draw.

    Oh, God.

    I’m so alone.

    Hold me.

  39. Man, this is just ten different kinds off geek-borne happiness right here. Two of my favorite comic-mkaer-people trading teh funnay right in front of me. Thank God for strep.

  40. Is ‘inverted commas’ some freaky UK way of saying quotation marks? Joss, teach this man how to write American!

  41. Twenty bucks says they’re both chatting on the same computer in Batman and Spiderman underoos.


    *Lights cuban cigar with 100$ dollar bill*

  43. Now that sounds like fun.

    @henry: ebay would break down *g*

  44. Yes, sir Mr. Joe Q. *goes back to licking Joe Q.’s shoes clean*

  45. Who is illustrating this script? Maybe Jeffrey Rowland or Bryan Lee O’Malley?

  46. I think I’ve just stumbled upon a bizarre alternate Universe where cross dressing midget pimps are handing out prom dates for free for the nerd contingency.
    My query is, if J.W or W.E. dress up as their favorite female style avengers will there be photographic evidence and where will the opium den of pulchritude be as I sure as hell want to see this in person.

  47. Well, this has been educational. But it’s hard to type while I’m holding Warren. So on to greater things. Lunch things. May the Federation be with you, or something. Nerds.

  48. Move your hand, Joss. Yes.

    If you loved me, you’d hold me THERE.

    Time for a cigarette. Take it easy, people.

  49. So long Joss, and thanks for all the fish!

  50. I knew reach-arounds will be happening!!!

  51. […] This is only internet history for the few. if you love Joss Whedon, Warren Ellis, FireFly, or just comics in general you have to read this comment war between Joss and Warren. It has to be one of the most exciting things I’ve seen unfold before me I have ever witnessed. […]

  52. […] And a little scary. Watch Warren Ellis and Joss Whedon go back and forth in’s comment section. […]

  53. […] If you want to see read Joss Whedon and Warren Ellis playing mind games you should go here. Start your reading with the fourth comment. I didn’t manage to read the whole thing for I was in danger of falling of my chair. […]

  54. […] Warren insults Comic con geeks. Joss replies. Who will win? I’m torn. On the one hand, Transmet. On the other hand, Buffy. Spider, Spike. Difficult, this is. I have to go with Warren Ellis. He’s got the cane. No Comments so far Leave a comment Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> […]

  55. […] Normally I do my comicsblogging at J&B. But this is just too important. (Tip to Farber, who also provides an executive summary, which unaccountably omits discounted Hulk Hands in the bathroom stall.) posted on Thursday, February 16th, 2006 at 10:45 pm Post a comment […]

  56. […] It’s the best thing Warren Ellis has done in ages! […]

  57. […] For those of you who were wondering what procratinating comics writers get up to. Hint: It’s not watching Diagnosis: Murder… […]

  58. […] […]

  59. […] jacob directed me to the comment thread of this post on it’s a good thing i’ve already had breakfast; i would’ve snarfed my milk. Explore posts in the same categories: absurd, random […]

  60. […] I have no idea who Warren Ellis is… yet another reflection of my essential lack of adequate nerddom, no doubt… but it’s fun to read him go head to head with Joss Whedon in the comments section of this post. […]

  61. […] My buddy Richard sent me this link to a tongue in cheek flame war between two very funny creative types: Joss Whedon and Warren Ellis. […]

  62. […] Geek Off By Shane Neville Joss Wheddon has dropped the gauntlet in a geek off against Warren Ellis. The resulting mayhem is a true match-up of geek-fu. This entry is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Leave a Reply […]

  63. […] Warren Ellis and Joss Whedon Provide Fan Service, Oh My Yes They Do If you don’t know who both those people are, then I’m geekier than you. (Curtsy: Crooked Timber). […]

  64. […] Visit Warren Ellis […]

  65. […] Warren Ellis, comentaba la pasada Comic-Con de San Francisco y los atuendos que llevaba la gente, (de verdad, espantosos algunos) en su Blog, y en estas que aparece Josh Wheddon, y empieza a criticar, con muchísima sorna y gracia al británico. Diversos foreros también se suman a este debate y de el rescataremos algunas de las coñas mas memorables. […]

  66. […] Not that, well, anybody but me would get this, let alone care, but I found it so hysterically funny, I had to post it… Joss Whedon (Geek God) and Warren Ellis (also a Geek God, and writer of some absolutely fantabulous comics) get into a flame-war on Warren’s blog. Wow. I’m still chortling. Tags […]

  67. Joss Whedon v Warren Ellis

    Warren Ellis has come choice complaints about the San Diego Comics Convention. Joss Whedon replies in the comments (via average-bear). For example: Who is this Ellis guy anyway? He thinks he all that cuz he wroted “Planety”. The facts is,…

  68. […] Warren Ellis: The Long March to Nerd Prom […]

  69. […] Warren Ellis, to Joss Whedon: “Your tv show FIREFOX should have had midget pimps in it.” It’s actually for real. *points* […]

  70. Whedon vs. Warren

    Not that, well, anybody but me would get this, let alone care, but I found it so hysterically funny, I had to post it… Joss Whedon (Geek God) and Warren Ellis (also a Geek God, and writer of some absolutely fantabulous comics) get into a flame-wa…

  71. […] Warren Ellis and Joss Whedon got into a bit of a *** fight in a thread on Warren’s forums. Comment 17 is cracking…. […]

  72. […] This is fantastic: two of my favorite writers are having a verbal battle of wits over on Warren Ellis’ blog. […]

  73. […] Warren writes about some bollocks (didn’t even bother to read his actual post). Go straight to comments section where there’s a seriously funny exchange between him and Joss Whedon. Tagged: Internet Feed for this Entry […]