Disaster Planning, Japanese-Style

January 27th, 2006 | researchmaterial

An earthquake off the northeastern coast of Japan could kill up to 2,700 people and trigger a 72-foot tsunami, a Japanese government panel has predicted.

The government’s Central Disaster Management Council focused on the Japan and Chishima trenches in the Pacific Ocean and created eight scenarios involving different locations, seasons, times of day and wind speeds, the Asahi Shimbun reported Thursday.

The worst case, in terms of casualties, would be if the Pacific Plate pulled down the North American Plate, causing a temblor with a magnitude of 8.6 off the coast of Iwate prefecture in northeastern Japan at 5 a.m. on a winter’s day. It would not cause extensive land shaking, but could trigger a tsunami that reached the Pacific coast of Japan in about 30 minutes. The panel predicted waves of up to 22 meters, or more than 72 feet, by the time they reached shore.

The maximum overall death toll would be 2,700. The number of casualties would be greater in the winter because the temblor could cause avalanches and more accidents on icy roads.

A magnitude 8.6 earthquake is predicted to occur in the area every 500 years.

Huge tentacles with eight-eyed cocks on the end snake out of the ground to penetrate schoolgirls until they explode, at which point the giant robots armed with brightly-coloured vagina-guns
are deployed.

I may possibly have embellished the last bit. But not much.


4 Responses to “Disaster Planning, Japanese-Style”

  1. I don’t think that’s embellishing it at all. It’s common knowledge that any cracks in the Japanese ocean unleash unspeakable Cthuloid hentai-horrors.

    But its also common knowledge that the silver-bullet of all hentai-horrors is giant robots. So…we should be cool, Japanese bio-cyber-engineering being what it is today.

  2. Holy shit, hon. I never clicked on the “listen to this article” thing before. Except it never gets to the good part.

    I weep.

    Glossolalia Black. Hack writer.
    oddculture.com

  3. It does that for you to? Damn. See, I was waiting for the synth-voice to tell me about the tentacles. I find that highly dissapointing.

  4. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!