Hurricane Bawbag

December 8th, 2011 | daybook

That’s what they’re calling it in Scotland: winds gusting to 165mph.  We’re getting the barest edge of it down here in south-east England, but it’s enough to make it bitterly cold.  Hence and therefore, I made fire with sticks.  Like a man does.

And while freezing my bits off, I found literally one minute to record a spoken introduction to a forthcoming remix album by WHITE TRIANGLES.  You can find that piece at this link.

(I have a horrible voice.  Why do people ask me to do such things?  It’s all I can do to force myself to record the spoken-word for SPEKTRMODULE.  Thanks to the 1600 people who’ve listened to the second one, by the way.)

Only just stepped into my office for the first time today, at nearly 8pm.  Some serious time off has been required since the last rush and push to finish the novel.  Editor and Agent have now read GUN MACHINE, and pronounce it tolerable.  Actually, they were much more complimentary than that, but, as has been pointed out to me in the past by people who are wrong, I don’t take compliments very well, and also I can, with a week’s distance, start seeing all the things that are wrong with the book.  So next week… sigh… I start revising the novel, with a view to sealing a locked manuscript before Xmas.

That’s right, you hack!  Merry Xmas!  This year, you get to review all your own stark fucking stupidity in an intense two-week burst!

I know writers who enjoy the revision process.  I am not one of them.  Probably because, as a comics writer of two decades’ sentence, I am conditioned as a first-draft-is-the-only-draft pulp hack.

Also I am being utterly shamed as a scrawler by DAILY SHOW writer Rob Kutner, whose Kindle Single book THE FUTURE ACCORDING TO ME is really funny enough that I’m going to have to have his hands broken.

In the future, you can change your parts as easily as you change your pants.

This gives all of mankind access to hawk-like eyes, ears that can hear a pin dropping onto a pillow thousands of miles away… At least, that’s the theory. In practice, people pretty much just swap genitalia.

Blurring gender lines make business-world sexism and homophobia unsustainable, verging on hilarious. Dual-installment capability makes masturbation a thing of the past, and unplanned self?pregnancy the crisis du jour…

But new photos by Ellen Rogers always make the day better:

And so does this: a new song by Julia Holter, whose album TRAGEDY was a highlight of the year, and whose next album arrives in 2012 from RVNG:

Julia Holter – Marienbad by RVNG Intl.


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  1. You can find Warren on Twitter: @warrenellis