Warren Ellis: 5 Red Bulls haven’t worked, and my new Sida Cordifolia tablets smell like cat piss. Today may be the day I die.

Apparently today’s ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY features me in their Hot 100 list of creative people. The PR magicians at HarperCollins yanked my listing off Nexis — others have told me that I’m right next to JK Rowling on the list — and it seems that this is what they used:

85
Warren Ellis
‘CROOKED LITTLE VEIN’
AGE 39

WHY HIM
A hugely acclaimed, acidic comic-book scribe, Ellis expands his repertoire this July with a brilliantly nasty and weird detective novel, Crooked Little Vein.

ENERGY BARS
Ellis found it “murderous” to find time to write it: “It came down to banging out a thousand words a day in the pub before I started the day’s comics work. If it wasn’t for Red Bull and Silk Cut cigarettes, the damn thing would never have seen the light of day.”

You’ll note that, after receiving the crate of Red Bull, I am now blatantly angling for a container vessel full of Silk Cut.

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 5 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(22)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 5 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(21)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 6 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(20)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 6 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(19)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 6 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(18)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 6 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 7 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

(number 16, if anyone’s counting.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 9 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 8 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 9 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 9 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 9 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 10 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 10 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 11 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 11 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next 12 hours or so, I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)

Because it watches you while you look at it. For the next humptydump hours or so (I just got up), I present a selection of the readers of this website:

(Join in by sending a self-portrait to warrenellis @ gmail.com.)