SPARKLINE: New Boyfriend

June 1st, 2010 | sparklines

What bothered me most about the aliens wasn’t that they insisted upon seducing and having sex with our Earth women. Well, not as such. The thing was… they had no real attraction to humans. Biologically, we were as different as cows and coral. And it’s no fault of the human race that we can find pretty much anything attractive. It really did nothing for them, to charm and pleasure Earth women.

What bothered me is that they did it just to fuck with Earth men. Their awful chittering voices: “Don’t you wish your Earth boy was a freak like Kargon?”

SPARKLINES: ideas under 100 words. © Warren Ellis 2010

SPARKLINE: Surgical Club

May 18th, 2010 | sparklines

His wife hadn’t seen him naked in ten years. An open relationship that was dead at the heart, by all accounts. She couldn’t explain the membership card for a “surgical club” in his wallet, nor the unusual scarring around his chest. Nor the seam that popped open to reveal a swing-wing ribcage. People wondered out loud about the nature of the “club” when they saw the UV tribal-style tattoos on his heart. Vaginal-fluid fingerprints on the aorta. Only when they saw the badly-reconnected pulmonaries did they begin to understand why the club was called “Heartswapping.”

SPARKLINES: ideas under 100 words. © Warren Ellis 2010