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T-Shirt Of The Week #004: SPACE BASTARD

TOTW is basically a joke that Ariana and I pull each week in our joint guise as the International Electrophonic Unit. Basically, we take some of the stupider things I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere, often in a state of extreme alcoholic refreshment or severe sleep deprivation, and put them on a t-shirt. Ariana set up a Cafe Press store (because this is a joke and engaging with a serious maker of t-shirts would be less funny to us), and… well, once a week, here we are.

Through this website and this Cafe Press store, we’re going to release one t-shirt a week. It’ll go live on Monday… and it’ll die Sunday night — midnight UK time, more often than not. Each one lives for a week, and then it’s replaced by the next week’s shirt. Until I either run out of dumb ideas or Ariana’s brain explodes.

So, every Monday, I’ll post the new shirt here, and you can peer at it more at

Anyway. I present to you — this week by popular request on Twitter — T-Shirt Of The Week #004: SPACE BASTARD:


We also offer a couple of perennial items. Mostly because I wanted one of these for myself:


(And also a MAN COOK MEAT WITH FIRE "splatter-shield", because Ariana’s crazy)

Thank you for your kind attention.


Published in Work


  1. ????? ?????

    the best one yet

  2. Is there any chance of having these shirts done in a regular raglan tee? I see raglan tee in a babydoll cut (or in cafepress parlance, “women’s cap sleeve”), but that looks less than attractive on the male side of the population.

  3. Warren,you’re 1 bloody drunk,clever,British’shirtless’genius!Thanx 4 all hysterical ideas ( mug,shirt & comics wise! Lol ).You & Ariana sure must have a good time together ! See ya on Tweetie,’sweetie'( argh , faggotish stuff anyway … )Okay , serious (almost) now ; from one of your Brazilian admirers ( and you have MANY – ya can bloody believe me , chap ! );) Leonardo

  4. Oooo! Is there going to be SPACE BITCH too??

  5. Grannydumplins Grannydumplins

    SOOO funny!!!!!

  6. You have ruined the word “space” for me. I will never be able to hear that word again without a Pavlovian “bastard” escaping from my lips. How am I supposed to watch the start of any Star Trek programme/film/merchandising tie-in with a straight face?

    Great work. :)

  7. […] I think this may be my best TOTW design yet. At least, Warren took one look and called it “utter madness” — and that’s pretty precisely what I was going for…! Read more at Warren’s TOTW post. […]

  8. DennisMM DennisMM

    This demands a name before it. “Mark Blastoff … SPACE BASTARD!”

  9. fraatz fraatz

    you finally got me to buy one of your fucking tshirts

  10. Ion Vox Ion Vox

    I want this in a NASA like patch…

    Could you imagine one of the astronauts wearing one of these on their flight jackets?? =)

  11. You got me, you space bastard.
    The golf shirt will surely enhance my charisma.
    Won’t it?

  12. Marcos Ventura Marcos Ventura

    I liked both! More taste more than the idea of the mug of coffee I adore mugs personal, later I do not live without taking coffee! Mine I vitiate that I am always moderating!

    Very good its site Warren Ellis!
    I am always visiting! Aloha!

  13. Sam Sam

    it comes in maternity; how appropriate

  14. […] TOTW: SPACE BASTARD expires tomorrow, to be replaced Monday — so if you want one you’re running out of time to hesitate. […]

  15. Just for the record : the space bitch ( slut ? ) t-shirt idea is great ! Nuff said .

  16. Please, please, please, please, please tell me this shirt will make a return. Cause some of us are poor and don’t have random t-shirt money lying around every week.

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