"Organic knuckledusters!" (I love that Modblog now use the category tag of Totally getting snagged by Warren Ellis.)

"Options."

"Engineering!"

"NOTHING NOTHING IS BEST ALL IS PAIN AND HORROR PLEASE HELP ME TO DIE"

"Being able to scratch itches in the most inaccessible places. Like inside my penis."

"Nuhh mmnnaaa hnnggaaa mffffnnn!"

"Funny animals!"

"Birthdays!" (don’t look) (actually, I bloody hate birthdays. So if you think I’m doing that for mine, you are nine kinds of wrong.)

"Size."

"Staying in touch with people."

"Modular facial hair!"

"HUMAN CHEESE!" Seriously: My extensive experience in making Paneer (cheese) compelled me to try something different, that is, making Paneer out of my own breastmilk. Basically this is human cheese. Why would I do that? Well, basically, there are about twenty bags (each 150ml) of frozen breastmilk in the fridge.. also, I have googled about [...]

"Security!"

In the end, I had a
hard time getting it
out of the sun tea jar.

"FIRE!" (No, this site has never been safe for work. Why do you ask?)

"Not this. Seriously. This? This is not what is best in life. It’s an interesting image, artistically, to be sure. There’s probably an interesting visual idea in there for use at a later date. But best in life? No. Nooooo. This is not what is best in life."

"Turning my balls into a wallet!"

"STRING!"

"Turning my… I mean fashioning my… into… oh god…(retch)"

“Filling my penis with what appear to be plastic cake decorations? Or perhaps telling evolution it is stupid by hacking a canal between my urethra and my anus? “No! CAT-scanning my genital beads!”