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Asymmetrical Warfare

The suicides of three detainees at the US base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, amount to acts of war, the US military says.

The camp commander said the two Saudis and a Yemeni were “committed” and had killed themselves in “an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us”.

Lawyers said the men who hanged themselves had been driven by despair.

Rear Adm Harris said he did not believe the men had killed themselves out of despair. “They are smart. They are creative, they are committed,” he said. “They have no regard for life, either ours or their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warfare waged against us.”

They had left suicide notes, but no details have been made available.

Published in researchmaterial


  1. Asymetrical warfare… hah! Poor US Miltary. I can see them trembling in their boots: “Watch out men, they may kill themselves!” “Don’t let them kil themselves! There can be no war if we have none left to conquer!”
    A good friend of mine is convinced that people (and living creatures in general) die because the moon has need of their souls and life energy. Perhaps the “terrorists” plan to overload that celestial rock and time it precisely, so that it may fall down upon the American continent. Overloaded with souls. Wam! Bam! Huzzah!
    A tactic like any other, I guess.

  2. bobby niblick bobby niblick

    wow, i was kidding when i said they were just playing politics… ‘asymmetrical warfare’, that’s hilarious. obviously the only solution here is to desecrate the corpses to dissuade potential suicides.

  3. Johnny Anarchy Johnny Anarchy

    From the “Hey, what about MY feelings!?” Department.

  4. If a Middle-Eastern squirrel dropped a nut on U.S. soil, they’d consider it an act of war, and a
    terrorist threat.

  5. Andy Hird Andy Hird

    Asymmetrical warfare as a result of asymmetrical justice more like. I sometimes wonder how it is that these idiots can keep coming up with this bullshit. They must have a really good writer. cunts.

  6. Fred Seton Fred Seton

    Oh, but this has been going on forever:

    “Dem niggras is tricky folk, yessiree. Why, they’ll slip a noose around der necks and hang themselves from trees just as soon as look atcha! So you be careful out there, Josiah Rascist Sisterfucker.”

  7. M. E. Hepler M. E. Hepler

    Kevin Doran. Fucking hilarious.

  8. bob bob

    Perhaps it’s a war of passive-aggression.

    I’m guessing the Pentagon chooses spokesmen based on their ability to keep a straight face when saying shit like this.

  9. Fred B Fred B

    Staggeringly and astonishingly full to the brim of prime U.S. bullshit.

  10. Rick Rick

    Kevin, you should write up a grant proposal. I doubt DHS is aware of the incredible danger posed by jihadist squirrels possibly already on US soil.

  11. Tom Tom

    This is truly cutting edge battle strategy for the Bush Age. If only all of America’s “enemies” would wage “asymmetrical warfare,” we wouldn’t need a military. I’m betting Rummy coined that term.

  12. Paul Paul

    Well, y’see, anything that makes the administration look bad is an act of “asymmetrical warfare”.

    IEDs on an Iraqi highway? Asymmetrical warfare”.
    Coordinated suicides? “Asymmetrical warfare”.
    Innocent Iraqi civilians allowing themselves to get executed by US forces? “Asymmetrical warfare”.

    In fact, these jihadis are so cunning and PR savvy that they’re turning America against itself:

    Jailers at Abu Garib torturing prisoners and making the US look bad? “Asymmetrical warfare”.
    Stephen Colbert roasting Bush at the White House Press Corps Dinner? “Asymmetrical warfare”.
    Democrats questioning the administration in Congress? “Asymmetrical warfare”.

    Dammit – everyone who’s not with US is a traitor, jihadi Islamofascist engaged in…”asymmetrical warfare”.

    Orwell had nothing on this.

  13. This only makes sense if you believe that the point of ‘Suicide Bombing’ is the ‘Suicide’ bit.

    That said, I would encourage the US to fight back using the only language these scum understand – mass suicide!

  14. Neal Neal

    “Your Commie has no regard for human life. Not even his own.”
    —General Jack D. Ripper

    (Commie, Terrorist: Same thing, give or take forty years.)

  15. Zaccus Zaccus

    When does it is stop? Bushlies (Newspeak: what Bush does whenever his mouth opens and gas is expelled)

    Mememoids like Bush, Rice, Rumsfield & et al., Lying everyday, all day.

    Asymetrical warfare… I suppose the Jews in WWII committed asymetrical warfare against Hitler by tricking the Nazi’s into the Holocost. And Khmer Rouge millions dead because of the asymetrical warfare waged against Pol Pot.

    And at Tinnement Square, the students committed asymetrical warfare against the Chinese Government (they still are by refusing to be released from Chinese prisons).

    Remember one and all, the quote from a German Jew in Berlin during WWII.

    “I saw them take the man down the street, and no one bothered to stop them (sic the Nazis).

    “Then then they took my neighbor, I didn’t bother to stop them.”

    “Then they came for me and there was no one left”.

    The hobnailed jackboots of American law enforcement,

    “Are coming to a door near you soon.” – This quoted from a Kansas City, MO. SWAT Team member’s tee shirt.

    Wake up before it is too late children, but I know you won’t. The finish of the paint on the hood of you SUV is more important.

  16. Zaccus Zaccus

    Or actually it should be “Bushtruth”.

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