He May Have A Razor On Him

March 19th, 2010 | knock john

First he broadcast the white-faced puppet Stooky Bill — a "stookie," in Glaswegian, is a plaster cast — and then grabbed a kid called Bill Taynton and put him in front of the machine. I like to think that Taynton got a look at Stooky Bill and felt a shot of the Fear, because the light and heat of the machine had blasted it into a cracked yellow ember of its former self. Perhaps the master of the machine, John Logie Baird himself, thought of the day when the Trinidadians of the Santa Cruz Valley thought him a white Obeahman and attempted a terrified assault on his house of strange lights. Perhaps he thought of the night he blacked out Glasgow while trying to make a diamond with electricity.

John Logie Baird put Taynton in front of the machine, the spin of his altered Nipkow Disc growling in the small hot room, and worked his mechanical magic, making him the first man broadcast on television.

When Baird tried to tell the news editor at the Daily Express what he’d done, the hack got the Fear and hissed to his staff: "He says he’s got a machine for seeing by wireless. Watch him– he may have a razor on him."


6 Responses to “He May Have A Razor On Him”

  1. I just looked up a pic of stooky bill and got a shot of the fear myself.

    heeble jeebles.

    However, “the spin of his altered Nipkow Disc growling in the small hot room” makes up for it.

    Is this what happens when you drink buckets of espresso?

    Comment carefully y’all, he may be packing….

  2. I read this twice. Three times. Then went to wikipedia.

    You are messing with my head.

    Keep doing so.

  3. more please…

  4. At first I thought he was mad.

    Then I reread it with a Scottish accent (or best approximation thereof) and it made perfect sense.

  5. Well, if he was the kind of guy who could use 1890’s electrical engineering and “…nothing more than a mechanically spinning disk of any suitable material with a series of equally distanced circular holes drilled in it…” to rig up a machine to transmit images over wire than he was probably right to be afraid of him.

    “Science will fuck you!”

  6. Ratified in saying, man