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Funniest, Most Disturbing GI JOE: RESOLUTE Review I’ve Seen

From Topless Robot:

You know how we all complain that so-and-so raped our childhoods? Well, this is the exact opposite. I used this line in my Twitter, but I stand by it — G.I. Joe: Resolute is like Warren Ellis made tender, passionate love to our childhoods, and he had an enormous dick.

Rrrrreally not sure how to feel about that one.

Published in brainjuice


  1. BWAH HAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you wipe it off on his teddy bear, too? :)

  2. gregg v. gregg v.

    It’s twoo! It’s twoooooo! :P

  3. Topless Robot had a teddy bear? :)

  4. steve o mac steve o mac

    lmfao! thats one messed up visual

  5. Owen Owen

    Honestly Mr. Ellis, some day the police will have a lot of questions for you.

  6. i’m still laughing at the fact that you chose Springfield as the town for Cobra.
    I was waiting for random character from another cartoon to walk by.



  7. Dan Dan

    That’s a keeper. Just brilliant…

  8. Pretty Pink Unicorns Pretty Pink Unicorns

    How does it feel to be warrenellised, Mr Ellis? Now you know how we do…

  9. a.james a.james

    …Should I say that the only thing I could think was “Warren Ellis/GIJoe slash.”? :C
    I’m not sure I want such a thought to go gozilla bukkake.

  10. RMC RMC

    “Dude… that wasn’t really a review…”

  11. E1057H7 E1057H7

    That has to go on the DVD box.

  12. Jeremy Jeremy

    Actually, Springfield as the home base of Cobra goes way back before the Simpsons debuted. It was always one of my favorite ideas from the old Marvel comics series, that this international terror organization had an entire American town populated by its own agents.

  13. Pretty Pink Unicorns Pretty Pink Unicorns

    OMG please do put it on the DVD box cover. Hahaha so awesome.

  14. @Ian St. Germain – Springfield was always the town where Cobra were based. I found this a little confusing when I was a kid and started reading the comic (in the back of Transformers – awesome) just before The Simpsons began airing. As far as I know, Springfield is a very common town name in the US, hence it’s choice in both these examples.

  15. Richard C. Richard C.


  16. Rey Rey

    I saw someone say that at the beginning of the webisodes, it seemed as if you were bent on killing off all of the characters who had a Magnum P.I. / Leatherman ‘stache (Maj. Bludd, Torpedo). I supposed in the sequel, Wild Bill is next? ;-)

  17. Rey Rey

    Torpedo? I mean, Bazooka.

  18. ron ron

    actually Springfield has a long history of being the home town of Cobra. That is where Cobra Commander started out.

  19. I feel the same way. That shit was awesome

  20. beat beat


    I loved Resolute, but, wow.

    Thanks for sharing that…image.

  21. Solidkingcobra Solidkingcobra


  22. So I have been wondering this for 20 years. And seeing as how you are now in charge of GI Joe canon for the time being I am wondering if you can answer this question for me, Mr. Ellis. What is Cobra’s political platform ? Are they fascist ? They cant be communists cause Cobra Commander wants money. My friend believes Cobra Commander is trying to fight for equal rights for the snake people of cobra la. Yes this is an insanely geeky question but please what are your thoughts on Cobra’s political platform.

  23. I had a fantastic time. I’ll be warming up the Sectaurs for when you want another go Uncle Ellis.

  24. I was going to write a review of Resolute, but really that just summed it up perfectly.

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