Stabbity Jones

February 7th, 2009 | brainjuice

“I’ll kill the first piece of cockshit comes near me,” giggled Stabbity Jones, the last legendary knifeman of the old West. He showed them his crooked penis, with the razorblades screwed into the head. “I’ll fuck ‘em to death and make ‘em like it. Your daddies came cowshit up your mommies, and I’m Stabbity fucking Jones.” He bounced in his testicle-hide boots, making the spikes in his nipples jangle. “Stabbity Jones will fight any man here and fuck ‘em good as they bleed before my nekkidness.”

Stabbity Jones was the last knifeman in the West. Everyone else had guns.

(Stabbity Jones went from here to becoming a one-panel gag in an episode of the Marvel comic THUNDERBOLTS, poor bastard. © Warren Ellis 2006)


6 Responses to “Stabbity Jones”

  1. I recall everyone but me begging for a Stabbity Jones mini. Now, I am vindicated. (But then again, people were begging for a mini of ALL of your characters.)

    That little note sort of reminds me of the note at the beginning of “The Hound of the Baskervilles according to Spike Milligan” – the one noting that Moriarty did not stay dead for long, and became a cast member of the Goon Show…

  2. Jesus fucking christ Ellis, since i read transmetropolitan, i have been following your blog and freakangels, and im not seeing any end for my fucking fanatism to your awesome shit.

    Please do not get late on freakangels again or i will kidnap you, and bloody demand a freaking history from you from your cage where you are going to be caged in exchange for food and water.

    truly yours

    Quetza Hernandez

    P.D. Greetings from mexico city

  3. Stabbity is in Thunderbolts?!

    *needs to get it right fucking now*

  4. We’re all proud of great-great-uncle Stabbity.

  5. Dear Warren STOP

    Thanks for the image STOP

    Do you have anything to erase that image from my head STOP

  6. HAHAHAHAHA! KNIFE IN THE EYE!
    Stabbity Jones creater of the term skull-f#c#in’.