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Waiting To Jump

Waiting To Jump

Taking off tonight. Watching the world go by. Wondering why no-one in
North America knows how to cook bacon.

Time to write. See you back in BST.

Published in mobilesignals


  1. Zapata Zapata

    All too true, my brother. Even me sainted mum never figured out how to do it right – and I’m from Texas.

    However, after a time or two being forced at gunpoint to attempt the “Adkins” diet, I finally figured out what everybody in the lower forty-eight was doing wrong: you’re cooking it too damn fast. Turns it into inedible cardboard before you can blink twice.

    Here’s how you do it.

    First, if you’re living in the states, you’re stuck with American bacon, so at least get the thick cut. That thin shit just doesn’t cut it.

    Second, prep the pan with some grease – I like the hot pepper infused olive oil, that’s strictly to taste. Either way, use a lot, such that it’s the hot oil that’s doing the cookin’ rather that the hot pan. The pan’s gonna cook it either too fast, or not enough – usually on the same damn piece of pork. Also, don’t be afraid to toss some flavor into the pan – garlic is good.

    Third: to begin with, use low to medium heat – hot enough to get the oil cookin’, but not hot enough to carbonized anything in under three minutes.

    Fourth – if you need to cook a bunch, don’t be afraid to layer it up. You’re gonna be moving it around later on, and if you control the heat right at the beginning, it won’t matter a bit.

    Fifth, and this is important, cover the damn pan. With a lid if you’ve got it, but aluminum foil works well in a pinch. The idea here is to keep the majority of the moisture in as the bacon starts to heat up. It keeps the pieces soft, and cooks it much more evenly.

    With all that in mind, start cookin’. Keep the heat low and the pan covered. You’ll hear meat sizzling, and grease poppin’ from the steam dripping back into the pan. This is normal. Let it cook for two or three minutes, then open it back up, flip the meat over, and let it sit some more. You’ll note that it doesn’t really look like it’s cookin’ much – maybe some browning on the bottom parts, and a little shrinkage here and there – but nothing really to speak of. This is normal.

    After letting all sides get a taste of the hot oil, take the cover off, and turn the heat up a little. Note: that’s closer to medium, and nowhere near full blast. Be patient. Start moving the pieces around in the oil, flipping each one every now and then. Pay attention to how it looks – the meat should go to a darker red, but not black, the fat should get a golden sheen, but still be flexible. Once you get to this stage, with no pink or white left anywhere, take the stuff out and put it on some paper to drain.

    Some might say this is too soon. It is not. The bacon is still cooking as it sits on the plate, oil sizzling out of it. If you take it out a little earlier than you normally would, it’ll be perfectly cooked by the time you move it to the table maybe 30 seconds later.

    Eat it. Each piece should still be flexible, the meat chewy and the fat slightly crunchy. That’s a perfect piece of bacon, bubba.

    BTW: the person I learned this technique from? A Canadian.


  2. RachelHarper RachelHarper

    It’s bacon, Jim, but not as we know it.

  3. Melinda Melinda

    You did not exploit your local resources to their fullest potential.
    Next time we will find you the Good Bacon.

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