And regardless of when you’re reading this, it features some of Defamer’s crazier moments:

6:24: Cate Blanchett wins for Best Supporting Actress for her Kate Hepburn impression. Thanks her agent right after her husband—she knows where her bread is buttered, and will be getting a fresh basket of delicious Chinese babies from CAA in the morning.

Morgan Freeman wins for Million Dollar Baby. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, here’s a spoiler: Freeman plays a one-eyed former boxer who is impregnated by Clint Eastwood’s grizzled trainer and gives birth to a bag of money, played by Hilary Swank.