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I Didn’t Even Have A Drink And Now The Pisshole Is Talking To Me

“New Mexico has ordered 500 talking urinal cakes that will deliver a recorded anti-DWI message to bar and restaurant patrons who make one last pit stop before getting behind the wheel.”

You know what’d be clever? If the cakes measured alcohol expressing out in your urine and only spoke up if you were bladdered.

Published in researchmaterial


  1. sean grimm sean grimm

    what about women that get pissed? this will only warn them if they stumble into the men’s room and piss in a urinal.

  2. storymark storymark

    On the one hand, drunk driving is such a problem in NM, that I can understand this. But as a NM resident, I really, really don’t want urinals talking to me.

  3. The Inadvertant Mr. Raincloud The Inadvertant Mr. Raincloud

    I’d imagine it’d be somewhat startling to hear a urinal give you feedback if you’re a bit tipsy.

    “Thank you for choosing New Mexico Urinal #287. Please remember to wear a safety belt while driving and have a friend or acquaintence on hand if you’ve had any drinks tonight. Thank you.”

  4. kevin h. kevin h.

    Seriously, they are just going to get stolen.

  5. CannedLizard CannedLizard

    “what about women that get pissed? this will only warn them if they stumble into the men’s room and piss in a urinal.”

    Well…that WOULD be a handy warning for them to have, no?

  6. maingauche maingauche

    Desperation driven by all too tragic circumstances. Anyone who’s realized that a mere trip to the corner store (for beer & spirits no less) in Albuquerque is playing Russian roulette with their lives (thanks to careening drunkards at the wheel of hurtling masses of steel) knows the extent of the problem.

    The urinal cakes must, of course, also speak in Spanish and Navajo. Fair’s fair.

  7. Val A Lindsay II Val A Lindsay II

    Too many drunk drivers up here in Santa Fe, also. I will do some research and see if I can’t find out how much these little bastards set us taxpayers back.

  8. Madness, it’s madness I tell you!

    So much for being a closet drunk now that the guy checking out your pecker in the stall next to you knows your just slightly past belligerent and close to a date-rape level of intoxication.

    Don’t drop the soap…

  9. Well, you said it now…I guess we can all expect to see urine alcohol measuring urinal cakes in the future. The spies have already read it.

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