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Religious Groups Attempting To Engineer Armageddon

“End times” religious groups want apocalypse sooner than later, and they’re relying on high tech — and red heifers — to hasten its arrival.

For thousands of years, prophets have predicted the end of the world. Today, various religious groups, using the latest technology, are trying to hasten it.

Their endgame is to speed the promised arrival of a messiah. For some Christians this means laying the groundwork for Armageddon. With that goal in mind, mega-church pastors recently met in Inglewood to polish strategies for using global communications and aircraft to transport missionaries to fulfill the Great Commission: to make every person on Earth aware of Jesus’ message. Doing so, they believe, will bring about the end, perhaps within two decades.

In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a far different vision. As mayor of Tehran in 2004, he spent millions on improvements to make the city more welcoming for the return of a Muslim messiah known as the Mahdi, according to a recent report by the American Foreign Policy Center, a nonpartisan think tank. To the majority of Shiites, the Mahdi was the last of the prophet Muhammad’s true heirs, his 12 righteous descendants chosen by God to lead the faithful. Ahmadinejad hopes to welcome the Mahdi to Tehran within two years.

Conversely, some Jewish groups in Jerusalem hope to clear the path for their own messiah by rebuilding a temple on a site now occupied by one of Islam’s holiest shrines. Artisans have re-created priestly robes of white linen, gem-studded breastplates, silver trumpets and solid-gold menorahs to be used in the Holy Temple — along with two 6½-ton marble cornerstones for the building’s foundation.

Then there is Clyde Lott, a Mississippi revivalist preacher and cattle rancher. He is trying to raise a unique herd of red heifers to satisfy an obscure injunction in the Book of Numbers: the sacrifice of a blemish-free red heifer for purification rituals needed to pave the way for the messiah…

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  1. Jon Jon

    Sounds like Clyde saw season two of ReGenesis.

  2. Clyde Lott was interviewed in 1999 by Lawrence Wright of the New Yorker for Chicago-based radio series This American Life. It’s the first story, about 5 minutes into the show. This particular episode is entirely about Apocalyptic beliefs. Interesting stuff.

  3. Then there’s George Bush, who is seeking to hasten the end times by starting a global war with Muslims, purging the sinners at home, and playing chicken with the godless heathen communists of China through their North Korean proxy.

    All it takes is one True Beleiver in the right place…

  4. John Dassow John Dassow

    Humans are insane.

  5. Damien Damien

    I think that rebuilding the Temple, there, might hasten Armageddon in a completely different manner…

  6. Rob H. Rob H.

    Wired had an article a few years back about some guy trying to “peacefully” rebuild the temple by laser projecting it above the Dome of the Rock. I’d link to it, but Wired is blocked at work.

  7. Thank fuck the lunatics haven’t taken over the asylum yet..

  8. Pilitus Pilitus

    You don’t live in the US, do you Shay?

  9. John John

    When the Rapture happens, I say we all drop our guns and go for drinks. After all, the instigators just left.

    First round’s on me.

  10. Citybeatnik Citybeatnik

    It’s times like these that I wonder if Shiva, Muhammad, YHWH, Jesus, Buddha, and Laotzi aren’t sitting up there somewhere, looking down at us from their game of poker and going “I wonder if it’s too late to convert to agnosticism.”

  11. Information which was communicated at the press conference of political
    party “ДРУГГ” on 15th June 2006 in the Business Center of the Trade
    Chamber of RF
    For any press-conferences
    to inform in the first place

    The Customer of the Arrest of Grigoriy Grabovoy has been Determined
    The Statement of the Field Service of Liberation of Grigoriy Grabovoy
    for all Mass Media
    The source of this information is the special services of Uzbekistan.
    The customer of arrest of Grigoriy Grabovoy had been determined after
    some people requested the acquaintances of Grigoriy Grabovoy and people
    with whom he studied to give discreditable and slanderous information
    about Grigoriy Grabovoy for USD 35’000. Compare the offered amounts with
    the cost of an apartment in Tashkent which could be bought at USD 4’000.
    The special services determined people who offered tens of thousands of
    dollars for slander against Grigoriy Grabovoy. These people appeared to
    be Wakhkhabits who were involved some time ago in the explosions in
    Tashkent; and now they are acting according to the direct order of Osama
    Bin Laden, terrorist No 1 in the world. An audio and video record with
    communication of Osama Bin Laden was received on 8th June 2006. High
    rank officials of RF and mass media who instituted criminal prosecution
    against Grigoriy Grabovoy and carry out corresponding informational
    preparation receive payments from Osama Bin Laden through banks of
    Australia and through dummies. Therefore the criminal prosecution
    against Grigoriy Grabovoy is carried out based on faked-up data in such
    a way that even Mr. Sechin from Administration of President of RF,
    according to the information of Regnum agency, informed that Mr.
    Ustinov, the General Public Prosecutor of RF, resigned because he
    refused to support prosecution against Grigoriy Grabovoy.
    On 30th May 2006 the preventive punishment of Grigoriy Grabovoy in the
    form of imprisonment was prolonged; and on 2nd June 2006 Mr. Ustinov
    resigned. Within one week after the resignation the criminal
    prosecution against Grigoriy Grabovoy increased incommensurably.
    Persecution of Grigoriy Grabovoy on the part of international terrorism
    takes place based on the order of the leader because Grigoriy Grabovoy
    gives exact forecasts on counter-terror.
    Grigoriy Grabovoy handed over on an official receipt an exact forecast
    about the terrorists’ act on 11th September 2001 in the USA, almost half
    a year before, on 23rd March 2001, to Academician of Russian Academy of
    Sciences Savin, and Corresponding Member of Russian Academy of Sciences
    Grigoriy Grabovoy published a forecast about the seizure of Nord-Ost
    hostages one month and a half before the event.
    Grigoriy Grabovoy publicly gave information about the terrorists’ act in
    Beslan which took place on 3rd–4th September; the information is
    available on the video record of the seminar conducted by Grigoriy
    Grabovoy in October 2003, i.e. 11 months before the event. He tried to
    submit this information many time but no one used it.
    About the terrorists’ act in Nalchik on 13th – 14th October 2005,
    Grigoriy Grabovoy gave an exact forecast with the exact date of the
    events and possible consequences with nuclear explosions one month
    before this terrorists’ act at the meeting of more than a thousand of
    people. The forecast was used; due to this the nuclear war in Russia
    was avoided. This is proved by official documents.
    Strong counter-action to Grigoriy Grabovoy started when he announced
    that the volunteers of his Teachings would assist in provision of
    security of President of RF V.V.Putin because the terrorists are not
    interested in real and complete security of Putin V.V.
    We would like to ask all mass media to publish this communication,
    informing that the customer of the criminal prosecution against Grigoriy
    Grabovoy is Osama Bin Laden, on the first pages of newspapers and to
    give this information significant time in the air.

  12. prime8 prime8

    Tom Robbins’ novel “Skinny Legs and All” has an interesting take on this whole issue.

  13. […] Religious Groups Attempting To Engineer Armageddon Praying for the EOTW? Double-U-tee-F, mate? (tags: religion armageddon wtf) […]

  14. Kelvin Kelvin

    As I’ve been saying for, literally, years: “If the Apocalypse wasn’t coming, someone crazy would try to make it come.” I see now that my paranoia has legs, and is doing marathons.

    Fucking Solar Death Cults. Ruin it for everybody, why don’cha?

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