23 Responses to “America Sells Cronenbergesque Cumshot Gun”

  1. Yet another bid in my country’s attempt to out-weird Transmet.

  2. For this, we’re all going to hell.

    Which will be fully stocked with the jizz guns.

  3. You’ve gone wrong, Ellis.

  4. “Major pumping required” all right.

  5. That’s been a meme for a while. The weird little jewish kid that sits across from my desk at work plays it all the time, and emails it to everyone.

  6. Hahaha, i love their reactions to the messy.

  7. I need to get one of these before an inevitable recall is issued.

  8. P.S. god bless america

  9. They should have named it the “Bukkake Blaster!”

  10. well now todays Diesel Sweeties makes much more sense.

  11. The really gross part is that there’s probably hundreds of pedophiles jerking off to this commercial RIGHT NOW.

    Ew. I think I need a shower.

  12. I swear I saw this in a nightmare once. Not mine, someone else’s.

  13. Mine

  14. Not only are these hypothetical pedophiles jerking off to the commercial… they’re probably refilling their empty gun’s ooz containers in the process.

  15. Having seen it on Diesel Sweeties and Overcompensating, I knew it’d get here eventually.

  16. This is what is wrong with America and why we are loosing the war on terror.
    Rappers drive better armored Hummers than our Army…
    and these weapons are in the hands of children, not with the troops where they belong!

  17. Right in the fucking eye… kids are brought up with no respect these days.

  18. Dear Lord, this commercial was directed by a pedophile, wasn’t it? At least one of those boys takes a shot in the mouth…

  19. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother’ in the room… accept no substitutes.

  20. I want a small hand-held one. To see if I can clear a theatre during love scenes.

    Heh.

  21. I work at Toys”R”Us here in Tulsa. We’ve had that video playing on a promo for about two months, and most of us can’t stand to have it on for more than ten seconds. Our manager eventually threatened that if the video was turned off during the day he would write up everyone who was working at the time and fire anyone caught redhanded. So far, I’ve been written up twice, three people have been fired, and two people have quit over the fucking Ejakulator 2500 (they renamed it after it shipped and made us put stickers on it saying “Oozinator”, honest).

    It’s funny that you mentioned Cronenberg since the entire thing is shaped like a hideous giant bug carpace. Anyone see “Naked Lunch”?

  22. I work at Toys”R”Us here in Tulsa. We’ve had that video playing on a promo for about two months, and most of us can’t stand to have it on for more than ten seconds. Our manager eventually threatened that if the video was turned off during the day he would write up everyone who was working at the time and fire anyone caught redhanded. So far, I’ve been written up twice, three people have been fired, and two people have quit over the fucking Ejakulator 2500 (they renamed it after it shipped and made us put stickers on it saying “Oozinator”, honest).

    It’s funny that you mentioned Cronenberg since the entire thing is shaped like a hideous giant bug carpace. Anyone see “Naked Lunch”?

  23. ))