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Finally, A Human Evolved To Hold Whisky, Smoke A Cigarette And Operate A Mobile Phone Simultaneously

Doctors in Shanghai on Tuesday were considering surgery options for a 2-month-old boy born with an unusually well-formed third arm.

Neither of the boy’s two left arms is fully functional and tests have so far been unable to determine which was more developed, said Dr. Chen Bochang, head of the orthopedics department at Shanghai Children’s Medical Center.

“His case is quite peculiar. We have no record of any child with such a complete third arm,” Chen said in a telephone interview.

The boy, identified only as “Jie-jie,” also was born with just one kidney and may have problems that could lead to curvature of the spine, local media reports said. Jie-jie cried when either of his left arms was touched, but smiled and responded normally to other stimuli, the reports said.

Chen said doctors hoped to work out a plan for surgery, but the boy’s small size made it impossible to perform certain tests that would help them prepare.

(Found by Jigga Vegas, thanks, who said: “in case you’re having a bad day, a little perspective: At least you don’t have three arms.”)

Published in researchmaterial


  1. MrPerson MrPerson

    Cue obligatory joke about how the X-men will start appearing in only a few years.

    “I’ll let you live for now, but you don’t touch my goddamned left arms, human dickwipe!”

  2. scott scott

    I honestly never thought that in a million years something like that could happen.

    The other day I read a report on the internet (so you know it’s true) about how Dr. Stephen Hawkings said that we need to start colonizing other planets because too many accidents could befall this one (nuclear war, doomsday plague, ect). The only problem was, he said, that we would have to design super intelligent machines to navigate the space ships while we travel to these distant planets in some sort of sleep, and a machine uprising would be very possible and a real threat.

    baby’s with three arms, doomsday plagues, interplanetary colonizing, machine uprisings.


  3. I am highly curious what the boy’s skeleton looks like. Does he have an extra shoulder blade?

  4. Chris Chris

    Future world push-up champion.

  5. Damien Damien

    That, Geoff, is a damned good question. I’m sure we’ll get those, soon enough.

    And yeah. That did make me feel better, a bit, because I’m a terrible person.

  6. Orde Orde

    “At least you don’t have three arms.”? I’d give my right arm to have three arms!

  7. If I was born with a fully-formed extra arm, and some fucking body-Nazi sliced it off for me before I could give my opinion on it this way or that, I would be truly angry. IMAGINE, FOR A MOMENT, THE LEETNESS OF THIS BOY’S KUNG FU.

  8. Many times, while masturbating, I have wished for a third arm. You can’t get the balls, shaft and prostate with only two.

  9. Johnny Anarchy Johnny Anarchy

    I think this is a message from beyond from Douglas Adams. I think he is calling for some kind of freeloading galactic leader. I’d keep an eye out for a second head.

  10. So begins the tale of Asian Pop Sensation “Rockstar Octopus”!

  11. james james

    in chinese “Jie-jie” means lefty

  12. cafoof cafoof

    Oh, come on! Any moderately experienced smoker can hold a whisky, smoke a cigarette, and operate a mobile phone with only 2 arms. You can hold the cigarette with your lips (it is possible to inhale and exhale _around_ a cigarette) or you can hold the cigarette with the index and middle fingers of the same hand that’s holding your beverage with the thumb, ring, and pinky fingers. This leaves your other hand to operate a phone, open doors, or hold another drink. I’ve done this, it’s not that hard people.

  13. Nick Nick

    I don’t know about you guys, but i’d be pissed if I found out I was born with three arms and they removed one.

  14. If they operate on this kid, I’m flying there to hold a serious protest. Ever since the robot devil on Futurama played a kickass 3-armed violin, I’ve been waiting for this. I’m just jealous he beat me to it.

  15. Jonathan Jonathan

    Some males resent their parents for having them circumsized. Imagine how this child will feel learning that, once upon a time, he had five limbs.

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