Ass Wine, Even

May 29th, 2006 | people I know, researchmaterial

Found/shot by Maddie Greene, who adds:

The growing popularity of Australian wines in the U.S. sadly resulted in an implosion fo quality and explosion of crap. This brightly colored label offers just one example of the culturally-charged $10 bottles that flood our markets while the finer wines become harder and harder to locate.


14 Responses to “Ass Wine, Even”

  1. It probably tastes like kangaroo too. Aw well, the people who grew that probably likes to play their neighbour’s didgeridoo anyways. Awstrayleeans and their crazy wines…

  2. Warren,

    Wasnt you who posted lot long ago a link to a wine critic actually praising “Big Ass Shiraz”?

  3. Someone in the US complaining about crap wines? HAH!

    I remember going to the grocery and seeing 2 litre glass bottles of Californian wines for under 12 dollars!

    I won’t even mention the 5 dollar Tetrapak wine “Golden Gate”; the only wine that leaves a ring around the glass and your mouth.

  4. I always felt the wine isle sucked the light out of the grocery store. It was were the old light went to die. Seeing those labels in there now, with their giant green Koalas and their psuedo-sexual names, destroys the ambiance.

    There is nothing in the world worse for a forty year old woman to lose “the mood” when she’s buying a jug of fermented grapes to seduce her husband with on their honeymoon.

    And to those outside the U.S…We go to the liquor store for good wine.

  5. Actually, according to the recent international competitions, California produces some of the world’s best wine. I also understand that a chain store here in the States sells a $2 bottle of wine that is quite good.

    You can’t judge a country’s products based on what gets sold as such elsewhere. An Australian friend was highly amused to see some “Australian beers” in the local grocery store that exploited every Australian stereotype (lots of pictures of crocodiles and sharks). He explained that the beer wasn’t actually sold in Australia- it was a creation for foreign markets. So if the “Californian” wine sucks where you are, it might not even be an actual California brand. “Golden Gate” appears to only be sold overseas, which begs the question of where it is made…

  6. Actually, the Big Ass Merlot isn’t that bad. At least, for the price. If you’re looking for a quality wine, it doesn’t have to be expensive, but as the adage says, you get what you pay for…

  7. Bob said: “Actually, according to the recent international competitions, California produces some of the world’s best wine. I also understand that a chain store here in the States sells a $2 bottle of wine that is quite good.”

    Trader Joe is the chain, and the wine is often called “Two Buck Chuck” for it’s real name: Charles Shaw. And it’s Californian, too. TJ (Trader Joe) is an odd sort of grocery store. They sell all the odd sorts of food, I suppose is the best way to describe it.

  8. I can honestly say I’ve never seen that wine in my entire life (all 25 years of it spent in Australia and I’m quite fond of wine). I would say its along the lines of Fosters beer, never actually purchased in Australia but seen as a typical Australian beer outside of it. Maybe thats a stereotype of a stereotype.

    Anyway…I’m not sure if I’d drink anything called “Big Ass”…actually I can’t guarantee that.

  9. Fosters is sold in Australia as Crown Lager.

  10. Actually Fosters is the company that distribute a crap load of beers. Crown lager is just one of them. The typical blue labeled is what I meant.

    Basically no one I know every orders it nor sells it.

  11. The obligatory lengthy Monty Python quote:

    A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

    Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world’s best sugary wines.

    Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

    Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this and you’re really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

    Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is ‘beware’. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

    Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

    Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.

    Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine’s armpit.

  12. lol @ monty. Cheeky bastards :)

    “An Australian friend was highly amused to see some “Australian beers” in the local grocery store that exploited every Australian stereotype (lots of pictures of crocodiles and sharks). He explained that the beer wasn’t actually sold in Australia- it was a creation for foreign markets.”

    This is probably Fosters? Well it’s still sold in Australia, it’s just not popular, so now it’s aimed mainly at international markets. It’s crap beer frankly. If you want something nice, go for Coopers or even Southwark. The tastiest stuff comes from the Malt Shovel Brewery, sold as James Squire. Bit pricy, but beautiful stuff. I’m a fan of the Strong Ale, which is very hoppy. I like my bitter beers.

    “Fosters is sold in Australia as Crown Lager.”

    Ha ha. Um, no. It’s not. Crown is a different beer. Over-rated IMO.

    From the post:
    “The growing popularity of Australian wines in the U.S. sadly resulted in an implosion fo quality and explosion of crap. This brightly colored label offers just one example of the culturally-charged $10 bottles that flood our markets while the finer wines become harder and harder to locate.”

    Firstly, it might be a very good wine. I’m guessing not, but you never know until you pull the cork out of it. So, uh, yr put of by the label. Not interested in the _actual wine_ but it’s label and cultural value. Granted the label is vile, but I think yr being a snob.

    Secondly, implosion of quality my arse. There surely are lots of sub-par wines going into the US (yellow tail is shit yeh), but there are loads of good ones too. And you can find good wines just like you always have; listen to your friends, read reviews and follow your instincts.

    I might take the opportunity to characterise the comment thus: ‘Ooooh, look at all this nasty _foreign_ product flooding the shelves’

  13. Nothing wrong with Australian wine. They have some exellent Chradonnays.
    Nothinng like a pint o’ cold Chardonnay after a hard day’s sheap-shearing.

  14. Leaving aside the fact that we here in the Antipodes say “arse” not “ass”, this is just merchandising because all the big grape producers here are suffering a wine glut.
    See : http://www.abc.net.au/landline/content/2005/s1349757.htm