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I Will Warn My US Readers Again: The Sky Wants You Dead. Be Prepared

This year’s Atlantic hurricane season will be “above normal”, according to the US climate agency.

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts there will be 13-16 named storms, four of which will be “major storms”… reaching category three or above.

“Although we do not anticipate reaching or exceeding last year’s extraordinary tally of storms, these forecast numbers exceed the seasonal forecast average…”

Published in researchmaterial


  1. Ferry Ferry

    This is why I cant understand for the life of me why the hell people live in florida.

    Why would you live in a place where you are hit by decimating natural disasters on a yearly basis?

  2. but there is no such thing as global warming. just keep that in mind.

    as for the fuckers in florida, texas, alabama, louisiana, georgia – that entire gulf of mexio coast – well, best of luck to them – paying the price for an entire nation’s greed and excess is a bitch.

  3. What did we ever do to the sky? Besides rape and pollute and pillage it? Think the fucking thing would be grateful, but Noooo. Now it’s got Al Gore on it’s side and we’ll never hear the end of it.

    I’m going back to worshiping the dirt. The dirt loves me.

  4. patient_0 patient_0


    Seriously. I live on the Gulf Coast, in a town packed to the gills with huge oaks and easily-snapped pine trees. A direct hit from even a Category 1 storm here would fuck things up royally.

  5. One more thing for Pat Robertson to be self-righteous about… sigh.

  6. At least isn’t not supposed to be as BAD as last year… dear god. World, stop trying to destroy my town and my school so I can fucking graduate some day.

  7. NinjaDebugger NinjaDebugger

    The invisible dragon in my garage says that America is being hit with all these storms because of all the retarded states banning gay marriage.

  8. Gulf coast heat and humidity wears us down all summer, then the hurricanes come to finish us off when we can’t fight any more. This is someone’s Plan, I’m certain.

    I really need to move out.

  9. bob bob

    Atlantic hurricanes come in cycles that last a few decades; we just came out of a ‘quiet’ period, so things are just starting to get nasty. Researchers liken the current period to the disastrous decades of the early 20th century, a period of high hurricane deathtolls, even in relatively sparsely settled areas.
    This has nothing to do with global warming, though there is some controversy about whether global warming could increase the power of the hurricanes. Just wait until half of Florida is underwater due to rising sea levels- hurricanes will be even more fun then.
    Seeing a natural, recurring event like this as a divine message is like seeing the setting of the sun as a sign of God’s dissatisfaction with the neighbor’s drunken barbeque.

  10. Haley Haley

    Clearly this is God’s way of saying “Why the hell do you live in Florida in the first place? It was a boiling hellhole when Ponce de Leon was here, and it’s a boiling hellhole now, just with more traffic!”

    I so need to move.

  11. Paul Paul

    Yes there is a natural cycle in hurricanes that’s independent of global warming. However, global warming is thought to cause higher surface sea temperatures, which in turn causes more intense hurricanes. So while global warming coesn’t cause the underlying cycle, it is probably making the peak more intense.

    That and it’s Gore’s revenge on Florida for 2000.

  12. Ferry Ferry

    I like living in the northeast where all you have to worry about in terms of natural disasters is blizzards and the occasional ice storm.

  13. It is time to build the dome cities on the worlds coasts.

  14. florida’s Gulf Coast is spotted with assorted military bases, so a lot of people are living there because they have been ordered to do so. Suburbs then grew up around the bases because that is what happens when you have a bunch of military families in one area.

    I grew up on the Gulf Coast, and agree that it is a foul place to live. If you’re not being boiled alive by the humidity, then you are being hurricaned to death or nearly run over by tourists who can’t drive properly.

    it still baffles me that people want to vacation there.

  15. bob bob

    Paul: Yes, warm waters fuel hurricanes, but only when coupled with cool air above, which one wouldn’t necessarily expect with overall warming. That assumption is now being re-thought, but the issue is still quite controversial:

    Certainly global warming is expected to fuel more “extreme” weather, overall.
    The 2004 Brazilian hurricane shouldn’t have happened at all and is (again, controversially) linked to global warming as well.

    Given the certainty of sea level rises, people in coastal regions in the south will need *floating* domed cities before long.

  16. Jacob Jacob

    Fuckinell Warren…every goddamn body wants us dead. Hell, nine times out of ten we even want each other dead.

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