Screenwriter Josh Friedman tells of the day he sold his big spec script, which is also the day his actress girlfriend, daughter of a rich man — “I’m gonna be rich and you can stop worrying I’m dating you for your dad’s money” — dumps him:

And as far as the Actress is concerned…well, there’s a happy ending there. I got a phone call from her the day my sale was in the paper. This is exactly what happened:

ACTRESS: Hi, it’s me. Actress.
ME: Hi.
ACTRESS: Look…I don’t know how to say this but…did you shellack your Variety article to my apartment door?
ME: What?
ACTRESS: Just tell me. Did you or did you not polyurethene your Variety article to my apartment door?
ME: I did not.
ACTRESS: Well I’m a little freaked out. Do your friends know where I live? Did you tell them?
ME: I have nothing to do with it. I swear to God.
ACTRESS: All right. Gotta go…

…but she did find out who pasted my Variety article on her apartment door:

Her father.

Now that’s some parenting I can get behind.