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Soap-Dodging Psycho Burner Clown Hunted Down And Castrated With Bricks

A man dressed as a clown who assaulted another man and stole his bicycle at last year’s Burning Man festival has been sentenced after the victim’s friends tracked down the disguised assailant.

Dennis Hinkamp had to have two plates implanted in his arm after the attack at the annual counterculture festival on the Black Rock Desert. Though his attacker disappeared into the crowd of painted and costumed celebrants, Hinkamp’s friends launched an Internet search to find him.

They linked him to a group called Anarchoclowns, and finally to a hospital in Washington, where Johnny Goodman was a nursing student.

“If you’re a nursing student in Seattle and you’re a clown, you’re pretty identifiable,” Hinkamp’s friend, Jim Graham of Felton, Calif., told the Reno Gazette-Journal…

Hinkamp, who works as a Burning Man volunteer, said he was riding his bike away from the crowd gathered for the torching of the tall wooden sculpture that marks the festival when he saw the clown coming toward him. “He pushed me over and the way I caught myself, I broke my arm,” Hinkamp said. As he struggled to stand, the clown punched him in the face and kicked him several times. The clown rode off on the bike…

(Okay, he wasn’t really castrated with bricks. Fucking hippies. I bet they all had a healing hug in the courtroom, too. You’ll all end up with insects filling your arses, you mark my fucking words.)

Published in researchmaterial