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Tom Sizemore’s Booze-Powered PermaStiffy

Troubled actor Tom Sizemore is battling a rare medical condition that leaves him sexually insatiable. The Saving Private Ryan star was recently diagnosed with priapism, which doctors believe could have been caused by years of alcohol and drug abuse. Sizemore’s manager says, “He can have sex nine times without stopping. His condition explains his sexual addiction. He’s in the midst of a massive depression, but he’s making tremendous progress.” A Los Angeles based urologist confirms, “Priapism is an abnormal, persistent, and painful erection that won’t go down in spite of orgasm, and can be caused by alcohol or drug abuse.” Tucker claims Sizemore’s addiction prompted the actor to rig video cameras up around his house, which for the past three years have documented his activities with a string of women he has lured back to his California pad. Three such tapes have been allegedly stolen and are expected to be released on the internet.

(Found by Adi, and I don’t want to know how)

Published in researchmaterial