Another Pungee Stick In The Doom Pit Of Our Future

May 30th, 2008 | brainjuice

Monkey-controlled robots have upgraded from leg control to arm control, it seems. I don’t consider this a useful advance. Monkeys are well known, after all, for, well… non-consensual sexual activities. And I frankly refuse to end my life desperately trying to fend off a monkey-powered robot fisting. I mean, is that really the future you wanted? "Day 184. Still can’t go outside. Monkeys waiting to fist me with robot arms." No. You’re not even going to get a jetpack with which to evade the mechanical rape arms of the Simian Love Patrol.

And even if you did, the monkeys would learn how to fly them.