Those of you who’ve read my novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN will doubtless remember the saline-testicular-infusion scene — it’s probably the scene I receive most email about. And, of course, the related saline labia infusion.

Saline clitoral inflation is a new wrinkle to me. Via, of course, the indispensable ModBlog (welcome back, Shannon).

If you’re planting in a garden, you need to be digging that garden over now. Well, not now, it’s probably dark. But over the next week or two you need to be turning the soil over so it’s crumbly and then mulching it. “Mulching” is not in fact a new sexual practise invented by Something Awful. It means covering the soil you just dug over with compost.

You see, the Earth’s natural tendency is to fuck with you. This is the secret of gardening. The planet does not want to give you anything. Mulching the soil is like waterboarding Gaia. It’s the Human saying to the Planet, “give me what I want or I will continue to drown you in handfuls of shit.” Be merciless.

(written on Bad Signal yesterday)

“What we need now is a 2008 candidate whose identity can only be discovered via a viral internet game.”

• Metaverse Singularity | The Singularity Institute for Artificial Intelligence
  Jamais Cascio’s talk, on video
  (tags: future video peopleIknow)
• Darwin’s Pâté
  Darwin’s Pâté, a southern gothic tale of secrets, betrayal and revenge.
  (tags: video)

Longoland

Wow. Sean Bonner just pointed me at this. Not sure how long it’ll stay up on YouTube — and I hope the group calling themselves Anonymous at this time haven’t made it as easy to fingerprint the video as it looks — but watch it while you can, if only because it’s kind of creepy in and of itself. Manifesto, declaration of war, sharp political film:

EDIT: it’s just occurred to me that “Anonymous” might actually be the dog-hating (and therefore All Right By Me) Internet strike force Anonymous.

EDIT: yes it is.

Congrats, people.

For my Yanqui readers, your spine-chilling moment of existential horror for today:

More email, from the delightful and extremely tiny novelist and comics writer Cecil Castellucci:

“Warren! Can I pimp my dates in Toronto? And also that Plain Janes just made the ALA’s (American Library Association) Great Graphic Novels for Teens list. (So did my latest novel Beige, but for the ALA Best Book For Young Adults (BBYA) and Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers lists. Thanks muchly and hope you are doing sweet and swell!

“I will be a guest on the wicked funny comedian Sean Cullen’s The Sean Schau
at the Drake Hotel on 1/23 in Toronto. I’ll be the literary guest and Alan Frew (Glass Tiger!) will be the musical guest!

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
The Drake Hotel
9 PM
The Drake Underground
1150 Queen Street West
Toronto M6J 1J3
Cost: $10

“Then the next week I’ll be back in the great TO signing at the awesome comic book store The Beguiling!”

Wednesday, January 30th
5 PM
The Beguiling
601 Markham Street
Toronto, Ontario, Canada M6G 2L7
416-533-9168

I really need to write a style wrapper to denote emails. Last week just vanished into a black hole, and I’m still digging my way out. Shovelled out onto the turf, an email from diamond geezer Kean Soo:

“My first graphic novel, Jellaby, is set to hit stores in (a couple of) weeks. Cover image and ordering/web preview links all collected within in one handy link: http://www.secretfriendsociety.com/?p=254.”

(Mal)

(Paul Pope)

“You would scream if I even described it to you, sir.”

(blame Irene Kaoru. I do.)

* Making Porn

* Richard Kadrey

* Comics on release this week

* The Whitechapel Orchestra

I felt this news story had to be preserved as a screenshot, in order to keep the caption with the image and all…

• The Kut
  prowling, sleazy basement rock
  (tags: music)