“Where is my faith?” she wrote. “Even deep down? there is nothing but emptiness and darkness… If there be God ? please forgive me.”
Eight years later, she was still looking to reclaim her lost faith.
“Such deep longing for God? Repulsed, empty, no faith, no love, no zeal,” she said.
As her fame increased, her faith refused to return. Her smile, she said, was a mask. “What do I labor for?” she asked in one letter. “If there be no God, there can be no soul. If there be no soul then, Jesus, You also are not true.”
According to her letters, Mother Teresa died with her doubts. She had even stopped praying, she once said. The church decided to keep her letters, even though one of her dying wishes was that they be destroyed. Perhaps now we know why.