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I keep looking at Jake Nickell’s blog and thinking, how the hell does he get his RSS feeds to automatically be transformed into blog posts, and can that be done in WordPress 1.5.2? Of course it bloody can’t. I’ve been through every WP plug-in I can find. I can have every post tell you the time in Javanese or something, but, oh, no…

I also covet the pure beauty of project.ioni.st. But I don’t have the time or, frankly, the mind to learn CSS and XML and Ruby On Toast and all this other interweb stuff you need to make a website go now.

This entry was mostly pointless and served only to point out that the interweb pisses me off.

Spot the subtle photoshopping of this old clip, as performed by one of the criminals on scans_daily:

I keep forgetting to mention: Tom Spurgeon’s been doing exhaustive coverage of the fallout from the whole Danish cartoon thing at The Comics Reporter every single damn day since it broke. Worth checking out.

My perspective on the mess begins with the fact that these are shitty, stupid, evil-minded cartoons produced by obvious hacks for a conservative rag that would appear to embody everything bad about the word “conservative” simply by publishing the things. In a sane and ordered world, everyone involved in their publication would be taken behind a stables and hit in the face with a shit-shovel. Jyllands-Posten has a lousy reputation when it comes to ethnic tolerance, their intent to offend in the most racist and simple-minded way possible was quite clear in the commissioning of the cartoons, and their apology was mealy-mouthed at best. The test of free speech always lays in that which is hardest to defend. It really would be nice if maggots like these didn’t make the rest of us work so hard.

And after that I get really angry.

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British historian David Irving has been found guilty in Vienna of denying the Holocaust of European Jewry and sentenced to three years in prison.

He had pleaded guilty to the charge, based on a speech and interview he gave in Austria in 1989.

Released on Miasmah: Localdebris’ “I Can’t Swim” is what you’d get as a soundtrack if David Lynch had made “The Creature From The Black Lagoon.”

“I Can’t Swim” – Localdebris

New infectious diseases are now emerging at an exceptional rate, scientists have told a leading conference in St Louis, US.

Humans are accumulating new pathogens at a rate of one per year, they said.

“This accumulation of new pathogens has been going on for millennia – this is how we acquired TB, malaria, smallpox… But at the moment, this accumulation does seem to be happening very fast. So it seems there is something special about modern times – these are good times for pathogens to be invading the human population…”

(Um. I’ll bring the happy and shiny stuff later, okay?)

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Increased carbon dioxide emissions are rapidly making the world’s oceans more acidic and, if unabated, could cause a mass extinction of marine life similar to one that occurred 65 million years ago when the dinosaurs disappeared. Ken Caldeira of the Carnegie Institution’s Department of Global Ecology will present this research at the AGU/ASLO Ocean Sciences meeting in Honolulu, HI on Monday, Feb 20.

Caldeira’s computer models have predicted that the oceans will become far more acidic within the next century. Now, he has compared this data with ocean chemistry evidence from the fossil record, and has found some startling similarities. The new finding offers a glimpse of what the future might hold for ocean life if society does not drastically curb carbon dioxide emissions…

A new optical effect has been created in a London laboratory that means solid objects such as walls could one day be rendered transparent, scientists report today in the journal Nature Materials.

Researchers from Imperial College London and the University of Neuchatel, Switzerland, have pioneered the technique which could be used to see through rubble at earthquake sites, or look at parts of the body obscured by bone.

The effect is based on the development of a new material that exploits the way atoms in matter move, to make them interact with a laser beam in an entirely new way…

I once had an extraordinary experience with former prime minister Ted Heath. Both of his eyes, including the whites, turned jet black and I seemed to be looking into two black holes…

(Note: this is just the best quote, and massively misrepresents the tenor of the interview, which is light, grounded and funny)

The Scottish TV presenter and journalist Dominik Diamond is considering undergoing physical crucifixion as part of a controversial television documentary about Christianity.

Diamond, once a committed Christian, will try to rediscover his faith in a journey from Scotland, via the Vatican and Italy, to the Philippines, where Christians celebrate Easter by re-enacting Christ’s ordeal on the Cross.

Diamond said; “I’m in my mid-30s, I’ve got three kids and it’s about time I did something that didn’t involve cheap gags. You might as well aim high so I thought I’d try to find God.”

The documentary, Crucify Me, is being made for the Five channel by Ginger TV…

Alasdair Watson’s report on a Gerard Coleman chocolate-tasting event is the best thing I’ve seen written about chocolate in ages, if not ever.

Paavoharju are another of those Finnish bands on Fonal whom I love. I was really torn as to which song to offer, and I’ve kind of given up and taken the strange one in the middle. “Ilmaa Virtaa” is… god, I always feel like Jilly Goolden talking about wine when I try and describe these things. Sepia-coloured dark ambient choral chiptune with hints of glitch and found-sound. How’s that for some total bollocks? Except that it’s absolutely true. I never lie to you.

It’s off the CD “Yhä hämärää”, which you can find at Fonal, of course, and in the UK it’s also available from Piccadilly. American readers will have to search a bit, though Google threw up a link to Other Music.

Note also that Paavoharju are due to release a free mp3 EP on Miasmah in mid-March.

The file’s good for seven days, unless I’m asked to take it down before then, and is presented for review purposes only.

“Ilmaa Virtaa” – Paavoharju

Earphones in to drown out the pub, which is currently full of weird old men ogling the women’s long jump event on sports TV. The camera at the end of the sandpit, you see, is set at arse level. A gurgling beery cheer is going up every time a pair of athletic bumcheeks rub up against the lens.

Home alone for the next few days. I’ll sling some music up when I get home, and probably do the Open Mic thing on LiveJournal tonight.

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If you’re going to be at the New York comics convention February 24 -26, Colleen Doran, illustrator of ORBITER and creator of A DISTANT SOIL says:

For every person that brings a Danish Flag, button, or any product of Denmark, including a book or newspaper, I will give you a free head sketch and donate $1 to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Don’t expect fancy sketches, it’s a short weekend.

You don’t have to give me your Danish trade goods, just show Denmark some love, and I’ll show you some love, by giving you a precious pearl of a doodle (no pictures of Mohammed, please – do not ask for the Legion of Superheroes, either), and I’ll put a tip in the CBLDF’s jar.

And yes, I know the difference between the Swedish flag and the Danish flag.

If you insist on giving me Danish chocolate, I won’t object.

The Engine: my online community

LiveJournal: tending to my Holy Slut Army, mostly^TM

MySpace: mostly used for hunting music

Bad Signal: my email journal, a hair under 9000 subscribers at present, stream-of-consciousness bullshit, sometimes several times a day, beware

Flickr: where I dump my photos and other graphics

XPeeps: MySpace for dirty people

I can be found in other places, probably, but these are the ones I check.

Video of “sprites”: the high-atmosphere light effects sometimes seen above thunderstorms.

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