HighJoy.com’s online dating and chat community gives members a way to physically interact, miles apart, using Doc Johnson HighJoy-Enabled sex toys.

…Doc Johnson has Internet-enabled two of the company’s most popular adult novelties, the famous Doc Johnson iVibe Rabbit (for women) and the Doc Johnson iVibe Controller with egg and sleeve (for men), making them controllable over the Internet as computer peripheral devices.

HighJoy.com community members can independently control the speed and rotation of another’s Internet-enabled device. Members with web cams can even watch the effect they are having on their partner for increased interaction…

“Sucitta Barlow”:

“This site was created in 2003 (for the 40th anniversary of Doctor Who) to pay tribute to that milestone by providing a forum for the sharing of freely distributable amateur (ie, non-commissioned and non-profit; pros are welcome!) remixes, electronic or acoustic, faithful or pisstakes, of Ron Grainer and Delia Derbyshire’s influential and timeless theme.”

You need to listen to the Michael Nyman-pastiche version.

Mostly about DESOLATION JONES and related things:

About two seconds after photography was invented, it was used for private porn. Hell, one day cave paintings are going to be found illustrating shagging on a mammoth skin in front of a campfire. It is, however, entirely possible that Fred Durst has ruined sex for a generation.

(Taken very quickly with camphone)

Cherie Priest:

[Overheard in McDonald's this morning]

Two little boys, approximately 4 or 5 years old, spy each other in line. Their mothers are holding their respective hands, staring straight ahead at the menu board with that dispassionate glazed look — like they’re pumping gas, or waiting for a dog to do its business.

Little boy #1: Hey! You get McDonald’s for breakfast too!
Little boy #2: Yeah! I’m getting pancakes! I thought I was never going to get pancakes again.
Little boy #1: How come? Your mom doesn’t make pancakes at home?
Little boy #2: No. I only get them here. And I didn’t think I was ever going to taste them again.
Little boy #1: How come?
Little boy #2*: Because after my little brother’s birthday party, my Mom said she’d rather take it up the ass than eat here ever again.

* Who, as he was being led back to a booth by his hysterically laughing mother, was fussing, “BUT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!”

A cobbler suspected of sorcery was attacked and nearly lynched by outraged villagers in central Kenya on Tuesday after being caught having sex with a female sheep, witnesses and officials said.

Joshua Kiplagat, 36, sustained a serious head wound when the sheep’s owner threw a machete at him after finding him in flagrante delicto with a prize ewe in the Rift Valley district of Bomet, they said.

He was then tied to a tree stump for five hours before being frogmarched naked with the violated ovine in tow to a police station where he confessed to several acts of bestiality that he blamed on the devil, they said.

“I was sent by the devil to do that,” Kiplagat told the angry crowd which included several people who accused him of being a warlock and one disgusted woman who claimed to have seen him engaging in sex acts with a dog.

The bloodied shoe repairer adamantly denied allegations that he was a wizard and insisted that his affection for animals was limited to sheep.

“I only made love to the ewe twice using two condoms but I never do it regularly,” he said in his defence…

Fantasies about chatting up legendary figures have come closer to reality in Japan where researchers have developed a mannequin with a built-in projector that can resemble a face of one’s choice.

The life-size, made-to-order “Chatty” is a mannequin with a face that is an empty screen until turned on to play DVD images from inside the body. If one is in the mood for conversation, sound can come from a separate speaker.

“It is a device that can show a person’s face, looks and mouth movements,” said the developer, Ishikawa Optics and Arts Corp. of Tokyo. “It forms realistic images as if he or she were really talking to you.”

Company president Jun Ishikawa said he wanted to produce historical figures such as ancient Egyptian queen Cleopatra…

A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.

Peasant farmer Daniel M’Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.

M’Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard’s mouth…

drunk people win

Originally uploaded by warrenellis.

london is too bloody hot and I am full of shiraz. Excuse typing – using treo’s thumbpad. Drunkblogging should be a thing. Xeni should see to it. Drunkblogging is the new liveblogging. I should get points. I am a technological pioneer. Send dancing girls to Liverpool St station.

___
Sent with SnapperMail

www.snappermail.com

Laurenn McCubbin is releasing her Kelly Sue/Adventure Girl set as a limited run of postcard-sized prints. For fifteen bucks plus shipping, you get a pack containing three copies of each of the five designs. (Only four pictured below because I am lazy.)

You can get ‘em by emailing Laurenn at laurenn @ laurennmccubbin.com.

And now I’m off to London.

GLOBAL FREQUENCY: PLANET ABLAZE is the one that has the story that the TV pilot was based on. The TV pilot that’s all over the net right now, on that filthy bit torrent thing which is illegal and nasty and I certainly don’t use it to watch The Daily Show or anything.

I don’t have the torrent link, and I haven’t seen the pilot, so don’t ask.

But feel free to buy the book.

(Slut? Me? Why, yes.)

Sobbing and rending of garments over GLOBAL FREQUENCY The TV Show are being conducted over at showrunner John Rogers’ blog. And I’m getting bugged to write the graphic novel sequel…

Oh, and for the interested: Garry Leach’s original character sheet for Miranda Zero, based on my notes and crappy sketches:

Comics and art by Svetlana Chmakova:

“See You There” by Theory Anesthetic is a nice little piece of Enoesque electronics. Four minutes of sparklemotion in the middle of the day. (streaming only)

A Campobello teen is accused of raping one neighbor’s dog and another neighbor’s two little girls. Now the dog has died and charges against the teen have been upgraded.

After receiving word that the dog died possibly because of the rape, Fox Carolina called the Solicitor’s office to see if now new charges would be filed against the teen. An hour later Solicitor Trey Gowdy called to say that the charges will be upgraded to the “most serious animal cruelty charges they have on the books.”

The dog’s owner Sylvia Jones says, “At first when it happened, I couldn’t eat or sleep every morning I’m waking up thinking Princess is there but she’s not.

Princess’s little dog house is empty now…

(Right there? That’s the standard of journalism in the entire fucking Western world. Thanks to Elvis Nodoctors.)