March 26th, 2005 | comics talk

2000AD ONLINE is scanning some classic material from the early days of the legendary 2000AD weekly comic, including this demented “future advert” illustrated by Kev O’Neill and derived from the FLESH serial therein.

Y’know, I actually remember reading this page as a kid. Most of my American peers in comics writing grew up reading Superman and Batman and Captain America and all that. This is what I had when I was nine years old.

“I have created the worlds first conservative comic”

March 26th, 2005 | comics talk, researchmaterial

A guy on a message board pitches “the worlds first conservative comic” (sic):

America’s future has become an Orwellian nightmare of ultra-liberalism. Beginning with the Gore Presidency, the government has become increasingly dominated by liberal extremists. In 2004, Muslim terrorists stopped viewing the weakened American government as a threat; instead they set their sites on their true enemies, vocal American conservatives. Terrorist assassins have thinned the ranks of the vocal Right. The few conservatives that survived attempts on their lives have been forced underground by the oppressive “Coulter Laws” of 2007. In order to further their cause, they have joined forces and formed a powerful covert conservative organization called “The Freedom of Information League”, aka F.O.I.L.

The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a biomechanical engineer affectionately named “Oscar”. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee. Reagan was born on September 11th, 2001. Reagan has grown to manhood in an ultra-liberal educational system: being told, not asked, what to think. With personal determination, which alienates him from his contemporaries, he has chosen the path less traveled…the path to the Right.

Two decades of negotiation with the U.N., and America’s administration of 2021 (President Chelsea Clinton and Vice President Michael Moore), has culminated in a truce with fundamentalist Islamic terrorists, or so America is told. The honorable ambassador from Afghanistan has come to NYC to address the U.N., his name is Usama Bin Laden.

Although, Ambassador Bin Laden has announced that he will publicly apologize for the “misunderstanding” of the events of 9/11. In actuality, he intends on detonating a tactical nuke that is contained in his private diplomatic briefcase. It is a race against the clock to save NYC from a nuclear holocaust and the world from liberal domination. Only with F.O.I.L.’s help, can “Liberality For All” once again become “Liberty For All!”

Now Let’s Clone Those Fuckers

March 25th, 2005 | researchmaterial

Dinosaur experts have extracted samples of what appear to be soft tissues from a Tyrannosaurus rex fossil bone. The US researchers tell Science magazine that the organic components resemble cells and fine blood vessels…

How Reality TV Works

March 25th, 2005 | researchmaterial

We love Defamer:

We think we’re finally starting to get a handle on what it takes for a reality show to can an episode.

* Television producers destabilize a family by removing a parent and replacing her with a near polar opposite: Father in destabilized family commits horrible act of child abuse (punched his 13-year-old daughter in the face) : Episode canceled

* Contestant commits suicide: OK, likely somber boxing-glove retirement segment to follow. Show trumpets tragic fighter’s defeat on website.