My name’s Warren Ellis. I write comics, graphic novels, journalism and anything else that people pay money for. I live in Britain.

I’m the writer of the graphic novel RED, the film version of which (starring Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Morgan Freeman & Helen Mirren) is out in October. I’m the writer of the GRAVEL graphic novels, under development for film by Legendary Pictures. I also wrote the novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN. I extrude a monthly column for WIRED UK magazine.

I write here almost every day. A collection of the writing I’ve done here and elsewhere on the internet, SHIVERING SANDS, was published last year.

Quick links: Whitechapel (message board) – Twitter – MySpace account – an Official Warren Ellis Page on that Facebook thing – a store of Things at CafePress.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I check once every day or so: warrenellis@gmail.com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, dirty pictures, madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical… um, well, you can’t, right now. My book agent has gotten flooded with stuff of late, and I feel terrible about drowning them in things like that. So I’m going to sort myself out a PO Box here in the UK sometime in August (meant to do it in July, but that month was crazy.

My name’s Warren Ellis. I write comics, graphic novels, journalism and anything else that people pay money for. I live in Britain.

I’m the writer of the graphic novel RED, the film version of which (starring Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Morgan Freeman & Helen Mirren) is out in October. I’m the writer of the GRAVEL graphic novels, under development for film by Legendary Pictures. I also wrote the novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN. I extrude a monthly column for WIRED UK magazine.

I write here almost every day. A collection of the writing I’ve done here and elsewhere on the internet, SHIVERING SANDS, was published last year.

Quick links: Whitechapel (message board) – Twitter – MySpace account – Soundcloud – an Official Warren Ellis Compound on that Facebook thing – a store of Things at CafePress.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I check once every day or so: warrenellis@gmail.com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, dirty pictures, madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical… um, well, you can’t, right now. My book agent has gotten flooded with stuff of late, and I feel terrible about drowning them in things like that. So I’m going to sort myself out a PO Box here in the UK next week. Details will go in the July update of this message.

If I’m reading this correctly, then my graphic novel BLACK SUMMER has won the comics prize in this year’s Grand Prix de l’Imaginaire, evidently France’s oldest sf awards organisation.

Provided my French hasn’t atrophied to the point where this isn’t actually true, I convey my thanks to the organisers.

My name’s Warren Ellis. I write comics, graphic novels, journalism and anything else that people pay money for. I live in Britain, because somebody has to.

I’m the writer of the graphic novel RED, currently being made into a film starring Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman and a shedload of other famous people. I’m the writer of the GRAVEL graphic novels, under development for film by Legendary Pictures. I also wrote the novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.

I write here almost every day. A collection of the writing I’ve done here and elsewhere on the internet, SHIVERING SANDS, was published last year.

Quick links: Whitechapel (message board) – Twitter – MySpace account – Soundcloud – an Official Warren Ellis Compound on that Facebook thing – a store of Things at CafePress.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I check once every day or so: warrenellis [-at-] gmail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, dirty pictures, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet.

My name’s Warren Ellis. I write comics, graphic novels, journalism and anything else that people pay money for.

I’m the writer of the graphic novel RED, currently being made into a film starring Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman and a shedload of other famous people. I’m the writer of the GRAVEL graphic novels, under development for film by Legendary Pictures. I also wrote the novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.

I write here almost every day. A collection of the writing I’ve done here and elsewhere on the internet, SHIVERING SANDS, was published last year.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once every day or two: warrenellis [-at-] gmail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, dirty pictures, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet.

I stop in on my message board Whitechapel several times a day. I leave Twitter on most of the day. I still have an undead MySpace account — I keep it open because I look for music there.

Me and my best friend operate a store of Things at CafePress.

Also, there is now an Official Warren Ellis Compound on that Facebook thing.

My name’s Warren Ellis. I write comics, graphic novels, journalism and anything else that people pay money for.

I’m the writer of the graphic novel RED, currently being made into a film starring Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman and a shedload of other famous people. I’m the writer of the GRAVEL graphic novels, under development for film by Legendary Pictures. I also wrote the novel CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.

I write here almost every day. A collection of the writing I’ve done here and elsewhere on the internet, SHIVERING SANDS, was published last year.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once every day or two: warrenellis [-at-] gmail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet. I stop in on my message board Whitechapel several times a day. I leave Twitter on most of the day. I still have an undead MySpace account — I keep it open because I look for music there.

I guess I haven’t done this in a while, and people are starting to ask again, so:

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once every day or two: warrenellis [-at-] gmail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out (there’s a FAQ for that). Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet. I stop in on my message board Whitechapel several times a day. I leave Twitter on most of the day. I still have an undead MySpace account — I keep it open because I look for music there.

Apparently Wizard are running ads in their magazines like this one, which a friend found in Toy Fare today:

The strong implication, of course, being that I’m going to be a guest at this convention.

First I’ve fucking heard of it.

I’m presuming this is some kind of impossibly convoluted but innocent mistake, as opposed to "well, if we just SAY Warren Ellis is showing up, then he’ll HAVE to." But I’ve had no contact from Wizard World about this or any other show, so, god knows what actually happened for this to have somehow gotten printed…

Anyway. I’m not attending this show, nor any other Wizard World show, in 2010. In fact, right now, I have no plans to attend any comics convention in 2010.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once or twice a week: warrenellis [-at-] gmail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out. Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet. Otherwise, it’s probably easiest to find me via my message board Whitechapel. I leave Twitter on most of the day. MySpace got really slow, so I usually only check it once a day, but I can be contacted through it. I ended up having to reactivate my Facebook page. I keep an occasionally updated notebook/commonplace book at Tumblr.

Okay. Things are going to be a bit patchy here for the next seven days, due to work and travel. So no more Station Idents, I’m just going to post when I can.

FAQs for San Diego, then:

* PLANETARY #27 comes out in October, I’m told.

* FELL #10 is underway right now on this end, so don’t bug Ben. We’re on it. It’ll be a while before it’s ready.

* DESOLATION JONES remains in temporary limbo for various reasons. Wildstorm and I are working on it, is all you need to know.

* NEWUNIVERSAL remains on pause while Steve and I do an IRON MAN thing, and we’ll return to finish it once we’re done. Scheduling was the enemy — after the loss of the computer, there were only so many scripts and stories I could reconstitute simultaneously, and ASTONISHING X-MEN trumped it on the scheduling.

* Phil Jiminez just turned in his first ASTONISHING X-MEN issue. I love working with Phil.

* I arrive at San Diego a hair before midnight on Thursday and leave first thing Saturday morning. I’m there exclusive to the Marvel Anime zaibatsu, and my time is scheduled tightly all through Friday. I start at 9.30am, for god’s sake. I normally never even see 9.30am.

* My only public appearances there are:

* The Marvel Animation Panel, 4.30pm – 5.30pm. I think I don’t actually go on stage until 5.10.

* Signing at the Marvel booth, which is #2429, from 6pm to 7pm. There will probably be a limit on number of items to be signed, and if you turn up with a handtruck stacked full of comics I will have Security rape you with a Wolverine toy behind the booth.

* This is a weird one, but… a lot of people ask if they can bring me whisky. Which is incredibly kind and not at all required. If you bought a comic I wrote and liked it, then that’s really all I needed. And this time, in fact, it’s really not necessary, as I’m travelling very light and won’t be able to take it home with me. I feel weird even mentioning this.

* And, yes, I will shake hands with you. The reason I don’t shake hands at other shows is that I’m signing for six or seven hours a day, for a minimum of three days, and everyone sticks their hand out, and the lesson I learned at Heroes Con is that shaking hands with everyone who sticks their hand out means that by the end of the second day my hand is pulp. Poor old Steve Saffel shook hands with me when I was on my way out of the building after my second or third long signing and I yelped. I’m not a professional politician, I’m a writer, I already type for at least 12 hours a day, and I kind of need the hand. One hour at a signing table is a different thing. People get unusually stroppy about this. So I mention it now. And, really, if my not being able to shake hands with you at San Diego or Chicago really did ruin your week, enough for you to keep complaining about it online years later? You’re mentally ill. Seek help before you ruin the lives of your friends and families.

* Also? I am not scary. I mean, I am completely not scary. Do not approach in fear.

* These are, internet snark mongoloid reading this, NOT rules. It says FAQ at the top there.

* Also, I won’t have sex with you unless you pay me.

There. Done. Tom Spurgeon has a proper guide to surviving San Diego, a must-read.

Okay, the word got out a while ago, and I’m being drowned in emails tonight, so let’s get this done. By the power of contractual obligation, I am appearing at the San Diego Comic-Con 2009 under the exclusive aegis of Sony, Madhouse and Marvel Anime. I am in San Diego for something less than 36 hours. This is my only appearance at San Diego. Here’s the press release.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Marvel Entertainment Inc. and Madhouse Present an Exclusive Sneak Peek at the Re-imagining of Marvel’s Legendary Super Heroes

MARVEL ANIME TV SERIES

AT COMIC-CON

Get an Exciting First-Look at the All New Anime Iron Man and Wolverine

At the Marvel Animation Panel on Friday, July 24 at 4:30 PM

Culver City, CA (7/15/09) – Marvel Entertainment Inc., has partnered with renowned Japanese animation studio Madhouse (Paprika, Tokyo Godfathers) to create four all new anime versions of classic Marvel Super Heroes. Get an exciting first glimpse of two of the planned four series at this year’s Comic-Con International, the country’s leading comics and popular arts convention. The Marvel Animation Panel will be held on Friday, July 24, and will include an exclusive first look at official teaser trailers for two of these new series, hosted by writer and multiple-Eagle Award winner Warren Ellis, who will appear to discuss writing the all new adventures of these re-imagined Super Heroes.

These Marvel Anime TV series are being created as a way of merging the beloved Marvel Super Heroes of western culture with the bold animation tradition of Japan. The resulting product will be four visually groundbreaking anime series featuring popular Super Heroes redesigned and repurposed as emerging from the fabric of Japanese culture. The series is expected to begin appearing on the Animax channel in Japan in spring of 2010.

The Marvel Animation Panel with run from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. on Friday, July 24, at the San Diego Convention Center. A one-hour autograph signing with Ellis will follow the panel at Marvel’s Comic-Con booth #2429.

Madhouse, Inc., established in 1972 with offices in Tokyo, Los Angeles and Beijing, is one of the top animation studios in the world working exclusively with some of Japan’s top anime directors. They have created many well-known titles such as worldwide hits Ninja Scroll, Vampire Hunter D, Trigun, Tokyo Godfathers, and Metropolis, Japanese successful TV series such as “Death Note” and “Nana”, as well as Paprika (an Official Selection at the 2006 Venice Film Festival) and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (2007 Japanese Academy Award for Best Film – Animation)

Marvel Entertainment, Inc. is one of the world’s most prominent character-based entertainment companies, built on a proven library of over 5,000 characters featured in a variety of media over seventy years. Marvel utilizes its character franchises in licensing, entertainment (via Marvel Studios and Marvel Animation) and publishing (via Marvel Comics). Marvel’s strategy is to leverage its franchises in a growing array of opportunities around the world, including feature films, consumer products, toys, video games, animated television, direct-to-DVD and online.

Contacts:

Mac McLean

Click Communications

818.392.8863

mac@click-comm.com

Ann Hinshaw

Dan Klores Communications

212.981.5160

I’m on around 4.10 pm — making me the last speaker before the final big super-discussion between all the speakers etc.

Okay, so, I’m in London on Friday speaking at the AA as part of their symposium THRILLING WONDER STORIES, an all-day event around the theme of science fiction and cities. Co-organiser Geoff Manaugh has all the details at this link here. Notables: it’s free entry, and if you keep checking back at that link, Geoff will eventually update it with details of the planned live stream.

I don’t know what time I’m on.

It’s Wednesday, I’m backed up with work, and I still have no idea what I’m going to talk about because bloody editors won’t leave me alone.

Check out that line-up, though.

Am speaking at the Architectural Association on May 29, as part of the Thrilling Wonder Stories: Speculative Futures For An Alternate Present symposium. (Here’s an alternative link if that one dies, thanks to Matt Jones.)

A symposium co-ordinated by Liam Young (AA INTER 7 / Tomorrow’s Thoughts Today) and Geoff Manaugh (BLDGBLOG)

’Everything is becoming science fiction. From the margins of an almost invisible literature has sprung the intact reality of the 20th century.’ J G Ballard

We have always regaled ourselves with speculative tales of a day yet to come. In these polemic visions we furnish the fictional spaces of the near future with objects and ideas that at the same time chronicle the contradictions, inconsistencies, flaws and frailties of the everyday. Slipping suggestively between the real and the imagined they offer a distanced view from which to survey the consequences of various social, environmental and technological scenarios.

In this symposium we will hear stories from such foreign fields as gaming, film, comics, animation, literature and art. These speculative practitioners present alternative models as test sites for the deployment of the wondrous possibilities or dark cautionary tales of our own architectural imaginings. And so we wander off the map to embark on a future safari into the brave new worlds that may evolve from our own. The symposium will be a collection of presentations, interviews and group discussions. The event will also be streamed live online.

Speakers
Geoff Manaugh, bldgblog.blogspot.com (founder), journalist, commentator, author
Vicktor Antonov, www.vulkanbros.com
Art Director for game ‘Half Life 2’ and Production Designer for film ‘Rennaissance’.
Francois Roche and Stephanie Lavaux, www.new-territories.com
R&Sie architects Paris.
Warren Ellis, www.warrenellis.com
comic author, creator of ‘Transmetropolitan’ and ‘Fell’, writer for Marvel and DC comics
Ian Macleod, www.ianrmacleod.com
science fiction novelist, winner of 2009 Arthur C. Clarke Award for Science Fiction
Archigram, www.archigram.net
Seminal visionary architecture group
Squint Opera, www.squintopera.com
Film and media production studio
Jim Rossignol, rossignol.cream.org
Gaming author and journalist
Nic Clear, TBC-editor of ‘Architectures of the Near Future: Architectural Design’
Mark Tildsley, TBC-production designer for films ‘28days later’ and ‘Code 46’

TIMEFRAMES: Narrative and Sequence in Comics

Sunday 28th June 2009, 11am – 6pm

D’Arcy Thompson Lecture Theatre Tower Building, University of Dundee

Timeframes, the third annual Dundee comics conference will be held in association with the Dundee Literary Festival on Sunday 28th June 2009. It will explore how the medium of comics bends, distorts and manipulates time, and the representation of the past and future in comics, and how the comics form relies on sequence. The speakers include prominent comics writers Warren Ellis and Alan Grant, artists such as Keith Robson and Emma Vieceli, comics editors Bill McLoughlin and David Bishop, and comics scholars Julia Round, Peter Hughes Jachimiak, and Ian Hague. The conference will also feature a workshop on writing for comics and graphic novels, and the opening of an exclusive exhibition of artwork from DC Thomson’s science fiction comic Starblazer. All are welcome. The conference fee is £10, which includes refreshments.

For more information contact Chris Murray (c.murray@dundee.ac.uk), or consult the Dundee Literary Festival webpage:

Session Four:

Keynote Presentation II

5.40pm Warren Ellis, Title TBC

6.20pm Questions

Edited to add: Em’s schedule:

1.50pm Emma Vieceli, Approaching Sequential Art and Adaptation
2.10pm Questions
2.20pm Break/Opening of Exhibition

As the token soft Southern bastards, we will stick together. We will also have knives.

Due to some Swedish girl basically hitting me in the head until I gave in, and then Emma Vieceli playing Good Cop, I will be appearing at the London MCM Comics Expo on the afternoon of Saturday May 23.

Don’t bring your entire comics collection for me to sign. You will go away disappointed. And probably also with fresh bruises on your head and neck.

Also attending: Em, of course, Paul Duffield, Gary Erskine, Young Marc Ellerby and the defective duo of Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. And others. But those are the ones I know and remember. I just woke up. Piss off.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or tell me about new music or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once or twice a day: degaussing [-at-] googlemail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out. Always interested in new music, new art, new connections, new madness etc.

If you need to contact me about writing for print or web, please contact my agent Lydia Wills using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you need to contact me about anything involving film, tv, games or other things that move, please contact my agent Angela Cheng Caplan using the link in the righthand menu bar.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
Paradigm
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet.

Otherwise, it’s probably easiest to find me via my message board Whitechapel. I leave Twitter on most of the day. MySpace got really slow, so I usually only check it once a day, but I can be contacted through it. I’ve given up on Facebook. The next iteration of this site will strip out the social network links: I just don’t get anything out of them any more, and they become just another online chore for me.

Note: any of these signings may run anything up to 30 minutes short. Also note: this schedule does not include press sessions, meetings and other appointments. I’m booked solid for the duration of the show.

All these signings take place at the Avatar Press booth on the convention floor.

Thursday July 26

4:30 pm – Warren Ellis signing (4:30 to 6.30 approx)

Friday July 27

9:30 am – Warren Ellis signing (9:30 to 12:00)

3:00 pm – Warren Ellis signing (3:00 to 5.30 approx)

9:30 pm- 12:00 am – Warren Ellis panel

Saturday July 28

11:00 am – Warren Ellis signing (11:00 to 1:30)

4:00 pm - Warren Ellis signing (4:00 to 7:00)

Sunday July 29

10:30 am – Warren Ellis signing (10:30 to 12:30)

3:00 pm – Warren Ellis signing (3:30 to close)

YES I AM GOING TO DIE WHY DO YOU ASK LITTLE FUCKFACE BOY

I mean. Ahem. Looking forward to seeing some of you this coming weekend.

On Friday June 27, I’ll be doing an onstage appearance in conjunction with the Wizard World Chicago convention in Rosemont, Illinois, by arrangement of Avatar Press.

The thing is happening at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center — we don’t have a room number yet, because the Wizard World staff will be basically taking the walls off a series of rooms to create a 1500-seat hall. I imagine the event will be signposted in the lobby of the convention center. The hall will be furnished with two bars for your alcoholic poisoning. The doors will open at 9pm. I will be wheeled onstage around 9.30pm. I believe the plan is to have me gonged offstage around midnight.

The event is free. It is my understanding that you do not need a convention ticket to enter. So, whether you’re attending the convention or not, you can show up for this and get in with no problems.

Important point. I will be smoking onstage. You will not be smoking in the convention center. This event has been categorised, believe it or not, as performance art. As having access to nicotine is essential to my performance, I have been accorded the right to smoke. You will all have to suffer.

The format for this appearance is Q&A. This is where I take questions from the audience, and then ramble on at length about five other things without even getting within the same zipcode as your actual question. So, there’s no prepared talk this time, it’s just me cueing off questions from the floor, telling stories, and pretending to dispense The Starry Wisdom while actually telling you nothing of worth or relevance.

I dunno. I might read a bit from something.

I think that’s it. We’re handling further queries on Whitechapel right now.

At the end of the month, I’m off to Chicago to guest at the WizardWorld Chicago comics convention.  The name is a bit of a misnomer: it’s actually held in Rosemont, some way outside Chicago, basically just a convention-centre compound.  I will never actually get to see Chicago.  The experience will be not unlike a forty year old man visiting the city in LOGAN’S RUN.  Only without the sex and the mass suicides at the end.  That would be a fine way to end a comics convention — everyone into Carousel so Warren can watch you explode.  They ought to lay on that sort of show just for me, and I am therefore disappointed that they don’t show their guests of honour the correct volume of love.  There are never enough exploding people at these things.

As is usual when I do my annual American show, I’ll be doing a late-night talk on the Friday. The way these things work is that I am helped to a stage and then take questions from the audience until everyone gets sick of me. These gigs are sometimes curtailed by the fact that you can’t smoke in most of America anymore. Though I did light up during my San Diego talk anyway, and probably narrowly missed being arrested as, I don’t know, a lung terrorist or something.

This year at Chicago, Avatar Press (who arranged my appearance) have beaten expectations. They have somehow gotten my Friday night talk accredited as Performance Art. And it seems that under Illinois law performance artists can smoke on stage in pursuit of, well, the performance. And there’s a bar in the hall.

This means that, since I can remain drunk off my arse and wreathed in smoke for the entire gig, I will probably be talking well into Saturday. And probably to myself.

But if you’d put yourself in the situation of having to answer questions in front of several hundred people, wouldn’t you want to be shitfaced and chainsmoking too?

The only drawback to the plan is that my signing schedule is, to put it lightly, punishing, and the press time will go on top of that. So the chances of my actually seeing anyone outside convention time are minimal to forget-it. My schedule usually commences at 9am and finishes out around 1am.

Please don’t be offended if I don’t shake hands with you. I shook with every proffered hand at my signings at Heroes Con a couple of years ago, and by Saturday afternoon I was having to ice my hand down. And since I use that hand for typing and earning bill money, that’s not good. I sign for literally thousands of people at these things now, and it turns out a thousand handshakes a day just pulps my right hand.

You may kiss the hem of my garment instead.

Last year I had singing zombie girls, but this year I kind of fancy a call to prayer before my signings begin. What do you think? Too much?

I’m off on the road again this month.

On 23 May, I’ll be speaking at the Norwegian Film Institute. (Also appearing during this seminar are the major European comics figure Igort and the brilliant Killoffer.)

I will also be appearing at the Oslo Comics Expo (fuck-all details on website at present) on Saturday 24 May at 17:00, doing an onstage Q&A. No plans for a signing.

In real terms, this means that I arrive in Oslo airport tired and confused at 11 o’clock at night, attempt to get to central Oslo on my own without getting mugged or raped, locate my hotel, confirm that it’s not a crackhouse or a knocking-shop for backpackers, fail to sleep because I’ve timeshifted an hour, pass out around dawn, wake up five minutes later, jabber incoherently for two hours to a room full of filmmakers who don’t actually speak my language anyway, spend the next 24 hours staggering around town using the only two words of Norwegian I can remember ("thankyou" and "beer"), throw up over a small group of people at Comics Expo who were only standing there because they were looking for Killoffer, and then get myself conveyed back to the airport by ambulance on Sunday.

WIN.

See you there?

I’ve been getting a lot of requests lately, mostly through social networks, from people asking how they can send me stuff — either physical objects, or wanting to point me to their mp3s or comics or photographs or special projects etc.

If you (for god knows what reason) wanted to send me something physical, the best solution right now would probably be to send to my literary agency in New York City.

Warren Ellis
c/o Lydia Wills
360 Park Avenue South
16th floor
New York
New York 10010

I don’t have a solution for people living closer to me as yet. See, if you send it to Lydia, she’ll get Jason Yarn to check it for bombs or poison first. So get in touch and we’ll work something out.

For people wanting to send me to their sites, wanting to email stuff or send me tips or whatever, I’ve set up a Gmail account that I’ll check once or twice a day: degaussing [-at-] googlemail com. This isn’t, I stress, my main email account, and it’s not for asking me when some comic’s coming out. Always interested in new music, new art, new madness etc.

Otherwise, my social networks are studded along the right hand edge of this site: Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, Last.fm, LinkedIn.

And now I’m attempting to test the desktop blogging system.